Chapter 41 of 78 · Book 5, The Butcher's Masquerade

Chapter 41 — The Society for the Eradication of Cocker Spaniels

Book: The Butcher's Masquerade · Part: The Unhinged Child · Previous: Chapter 40 — Kapitan Whiskers · Next: Chapter 42 — Warrants · Floor: Floor 6 — The Hunting Grounds · Series: the series

Opening

“Was it really an accident,” the little blob kid asked the Popovs as they signed the photo

Summary

Three and a half hours of autographs on animated photographs, mirrored across the galaxy by a magic Sharpie, run by a terrified soother named Effex. A blob child asks the Popovs whether the nodling was deliberate — Dmitri: their guide Hongrish said it gave an extra life and never said it would fuse his brother into him; the blob has a theory about a TV show with conjoined gun-selling twins. Everyone asks about Bea or the arrow in Vrah's throat: Circe has gone 'completely apeshit' and is travelling to the Earth system; bets are open on whether Vrah will cut the infection away and forfeit the queenship. Twenty fans in heart boxers and capes want their boxers signed; one wants his foot; a Quan Ch cosplayer has a squirting stump Carl signs; two saccathians tied together as the Popovs come apart bickering. Maxim on Bogdon Ro: he got what he deserved. The last premium fan is Jenn'ifer, a human woman in her forties with a tentacle from the back of her head that has a Yorkie's topknot and bow and a mouth, named Maggie, that growls at the C-word on her own shirt: The Society for the Eradication of Cocker Spaniels. She is chapter president of Princess Posse Inner System 43: the Syndicate preserves samples of Earth's lost flora and fauna, cocker spaniels among them, and 'as she suggested' the Posse has filed a lawsuit to stop it, donations flying in. Carl: 'As she suggested.' Then the press, led by Nihit, a naga reporter for Elemental Collection Updates who bobs like a cobra. The announcer presents the new sponsor: an eight-foot black goat with red eyes and floor-length hair blinks in, bleats, and blinks out — the Plenty — with a gold benefactor box to open below. 'You motherfuckers let these guys control all of the universe's transportation systems?' Nihit snaps at Carl's head: Odette scooped him; 'You're cheating […] Assisting in system sedition is a crime […] I can hurt you just fine from the safety of the inner system.' Carl rams the Sharpie into his neck; it breaks, but a splinter of metal stays in, spurting. The lights come up. Maxim: in Bulgaria the media at least pretend to be impartial.

Characters

• Carl — Signs boxers and a stump; hears what the Posse is doing; stabs a reporter with a Sharpie.
• The Popov brothers — Hongrish's advice; 'Everybody likes us'; 'He's really riding the broom.'
• Jenn'ifer — President of Princess Posse chapter 43, with a symbiote named Maggie.
• Nihit — A naga reporter who calls the Bea interview sedition; a pen in his neck.
• Princess Donut — Carl's 'As she suggested': a lawsuit against the Syndicate's sampling.
• Vrah — Riding the infection out; the universe betting.
• Circe Took — Coming to the Earth system.
• Effex — The soother handler.

Locations

• CrawlCon — An autograph table mirrored across the galaxy; a press line.

Motifs

• The Princess Posse — Chapters, a fund, a lawsuit, and instructions from Donut.
• Sponsorship — The Plenty: a goat that bleats and leaves.
• The show — Cosplay boxers; a naga who smells sedition.
• The Walk-On List — The Syndicate's sampling of Earth's animals.