Chapter 24 of 74 · Book 6, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

Chapter 24 — Raul

Book: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride · Part: Havana · Previous: Chapter 23 — The Molly Maguires · Next: Chapter 25 — The crab trap · Floor: Floor 8 — The Ghosts of Earth · Series: the series

Opening

» Carl: It was just a dark room with that weird, naga voice.

Summary

By chat, after the guild: a dark room and the naga voice, never seen; an offer of a job for the 'family' declined; asked whether he plans to kill Katia for the prize — no; spiders up his arm, and a map of the Desperado Club's secret passages, tunnels with monsters, a hidden potion market on the middle floor (Mordecai is losing his mind) and 'drug dens' behind panels — none of it in the Cookbook, so possibly new; Carl remembers judging art with the club's designer at CrawlCon. Damascus made Carl limp out of the 'cum closet' on pain of a broken knee; Rosemarie's high-five and a 'Certified pole dancer' button (Katia got hers with mussed hair). Donut had moved up from the boring Penis Palace to dance on Gluteus Maxx's shoulder, coins into his thong on a strict budget, Li Na watching her for Katia; neither asks what Carl was doing. A blank silver tiara chosen in twenty minutes and 25,000 gold to set the citrine: the Enchanted Tiara of the Inebriated Dragonfly (a drunk dragonfly hovering outside the nest till his wife relents): potion cooldown halved, +10 intelligence, poison protection, no dexterity debuff when drunk, and a level-10 Hover — five a day, ninety seconds, three feet, survives damage, breaks falls. 'I can fly! I'm like Wonder Woman!' 'Wonder Woman can't fly.' 'She has an invisible jet, Carl. Don't ruin this for me.' She wastes four hovers. South to the coast: a pile-up curving into wetlands, a nature preserve, a murmur of a thousand voices — crabs, pig-sized, red and black, hundreds crossing the road to the sea, eating each other's arms. Alone on a box truck, glowing yellow and chanting: Raul, Red Maníseros Land Crab, Sun-Kissed Cloud Rank Warrior, level 70 — the crabs' Juego de maní against the seals' Caribbean Kung Fu; massed in the south to swoop into the waves, circle the island and 'release their grand emissions'; Raul on the verge of a cultivation breakthrough — 'Probably not if his meditations keep getting interrupted' ('It sounds like something from one of your nerd cartoons'). Quest update, The Chowder War: a sneak attack; choose a side or watch it spiral. 'I will never kowtow!' 'What's a cow towel?' Carl eyes the box truck: 'We're making a crab trap.'

Characters

• Carl — Comes out of the guild with a map and a limp; builds a crab trap.
• Katia Grim — Has the button too; waits on Carl's passage list.
• Princess Donut — Dances with Gluteus Maxx; flies like Wonder Woman; asks no questions.
• Raul — A meditating land crab who will never kowtow.
• Li Na — Watching Donut on Katia's instruction.
• Gluteus Maxx — A hairy dancer a little in love with Donut.
• The Night Wyrm — Unseen in a dark room; spiders up the arm; a map for a favour.
• Mordecai — Undone by a secret potion market.

Locations

• The Desperado Club — Secret passages, drug dens and a potion market, now on Carl's map.
• Havana — The southern coast: wetlands and a pile-up.

Motifs

• The Guild of Suffering — A job refused; a family that asks if you'll kill your friend.
• The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook — Nothing on the club's passages — 'if all of this was new.'
• Donut's hats — The Tiara of the Inebriated Dragonfly; Hover as the greatest thing in the world.
• The Chowder War — The crab migration; a side to choose.
• Secrets — Donut and Li Na know not to ask.