Chapter 39 of 74 · Book 6, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

Chapter 39 — Lazarus-A-Bang-Bang

Book: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride · Part: The Father · Previous: Chapter 38 — Monroe County · Next: Chapter 40 — The Book of Voodoo · Floor: Floor 8 — The Ghosts of Earth · Series: the series

Opening

It wasn’t until we were fighting for token number six did we actually have to use Donut’s

Summary

Tokens three to five fall before a card is played: mobs frozen under streetlights, five levels apart, bodyguards from the fourth on; Carl 68, Donut 59, Mongo 40. 'Boring.' Token six at the foot of the mound by the Key West distance sign, the bridge to the next island buried: a level-65 Reef Explorer in a Zev-style dive suit with four Swordfish Interlopers — upright sword heads, flippers, penguin legs — one of whom spits a holy-water hob-lobber off course and launches himself like a missile, burying his sword to the eyes in the roadside ('Splish-Splash you gonna get slashed'). Two Precision buffs on one totem; Mongo catches a flying swordfish like a frisbee and his Earthquake floors the rest. Then church organ, fat winged babies, a herd of digital street dogs, smoke — the combo card: Uzi Jesus plus Asojano. 'It’s the Son Who Fell. The Sinner, Resurrected. The Bringer of Disease, Bringer of Salvation. The Ender of All Blasphemy […] It’s Lazarus-A-Bang-Bang!' A hunched robed man with a green nimbus, a crown of thorns over his eyes like a blindfold, boils, ripped under the act, an accent of every 80s action hero, a bazooka that fires something different each time: 'Welcome to your salvation, motherfuckers.' Thwum — iridescent metal beetles strip four swordfish to skeletons in seconds (Mongo backs away screeching). He points the bazooka at Carl: 'Who are you?' 'That's our friend, Carl!' 'Made ya flinch.' 'I'm gonna tell my father if you don't let me do it.' 'Does he still think he's Jesus?' 'It's like he has the memories of both totems.' Raul, Greased Lightning'd, chases the ghost through the trees and takes his leg off; the suit deflates. Donut's report: Lazarus and MaeMae compete and dislike each other (she is jealous of his entrance); both like Jola; Raul and Geraldo now tolerate each other; everyone ignores Skylar Spinach. The card: unique, level 140, 'I'm back, bitches!', origin Combo, frozen by Glow-Up with buffs (utility slots cut to two), 200 seconds, Constitution 80 (up from 20), ranged, healer, affliction; Oh Yeah? Well, I Have a Face-Melting Bazooka, Apocalyptic Plague, Resurrect Totem; not undead. Feathers once, 'quite a stylish way to kill'. 'He reminds me a lot of Brad, but with worse skin' — Bea's ex, likely outside at the collapse if Bea was, Carl reckons. Thirty Precision cards in the loot, stacking: one buffed swordfish would have been undodgeable ('Amateur hour'). Carl's neck itches as the Scavenger's Daughter bar nears full; he wants the charge for the key boss. Donut knows more about the game than he does now. The mound: seven hundred feet, eroding; climb, Levitate or Puddle Jump, but not in the dark. Back to the saferoom first.

Characters

• Lazarus-A-Bang-Bang — The combo totem: bazooka, beetles, thorns for a blindfold; 'Made ya flinch.'
• Princess Donut — Card theory in full flow; 'Amateur hour.'
• Carl — Nearly kebabed; uneasy about a card stronger than the spider.
• Mongo — Catches a swordfish; fears beetles.
• Raul — Earns some confidence and a ghost's leg.
• Shi Maria — Jealous of an entrance.
• Bea — Brad, and the Bahamas, remembered.

Locations

• The Florida Keys — The road to the mound; a buried bridge.

Motifs

• T'Ghee totems — Combo plus Glow-Up made a unique; Precision stacks; frozen mobs on a path.
• The Scavenger's Daughter — The itch at a nearly full bar.
• The gods — Jesus and an orisha fused into a resurrected sinner with a bazooka.
• Bea — Brad with worse skin.