Chapter 26 of 78 · Book 5, The Butcher's Masquerade

Chapter 26 — Wonderwall

Book: The Butcher's Masquerade · Part: The Vengeance of the Daughter · Previous: Chapter 25 — Fort Freedom · Next: Chapter 27 — Claude Sludgington the Fourth · Floor: Floor 6 — The Hunting Grounds · Series: the series

Opening

“Do you think that was her real name?

Summary

The castle's alarm, ah-luga, ah-luga, means attackers at the front gate; Samantha has rolled straight past the guards into the vent system with the trap still playing, and forgotten her line — 'THERE'S NO TALKING IN WAR. ONLY TEETH AND BLOOD' — so Carl owes Donut a gold coin. Donut asked what Samantha is goddess of: unrequited love, she says, though Donut reads it as crazy ex-girlfriends — everything for King Blaine, a sand-ooze child she believes alive on the ninth floor, a body first. The plan is child's play: the front-door alarm draws the guards, an eel lies across the river as a boat, Signet's paper squad takes the castle from the rear and the air while the beavers and Edgar sink below. Water shies from Signet like iron filings from a magnet; a paper hammerhead with a man's body carries her down. Areson tells the story: a high elf cast the curse the night her mother was killed; the dissenters murdered the tsar's family with high-elf help, and the naiads have been 'almost slaves' at the pointy-ears' teat ever since, wild in the river because the castle does no ruling. Then bodies: naiads, two dissolving paper monsters, a bush elf torn in half; lightning out of the water; the ground shaking and Mongo howling. 'I THINK IT WAS A TRAP. DON'T WORRY. I GOT THIS.' Carl puts on the water-breathing ring and grows gills ('You've been hit with the ugly stick!'), Miss Nadine breaks for the water, and — 'NO! NO! I ALMOST HAVE HIM' — Carl recalls Samantha.

Characters

• Samantha — Goddess of unrequited love; into the vents singing; 'I ALMOST HAVE HIM'
• Carl — Puts on the ugly ring; pulls the xistera extension to recall Samantha.
• Princess Donut — Name rules for the galaxy, like Iceland; hears Wonderwall over the alarm.
• Tsarina Signet — Carried under by a paper shark; Samantha thinks it was a trap.
• Areson the Wise — 'High elf cast it the night mom was deaded.'
• Miss Nadine — Hisses and breaks for the water when the bodies surface.
• Edgar — Sinks with the assault team.

Locations

• Fort Freedom — An alarm that takes forever to reset; a vent system; blood and algae in the water.

Motifs

• The Vengeance of the Daughter — A plot point, not an obstacle — until it is.
• The naiads — Slaves of the elves since the coup; the curse cast by a high elf.
• The gods — What a minor goddess is goddess of.