Chapter 31 of 78 · Book 5, The Butcher's Masquerade

Chapter 31 — The juvenile quickdraw

Book: The Butcher's Masquerade · Part: The Unhinged Child · Previous: Chapter 30 — A Valtay landing vessel · Next: Chapter 32 — The Ultimate Training Room · Floor: Floor 6 — The Hunting Grounds · Series: the series

Opening

“My daddy says you’re the cat’s bitch,” the little boy said.

Summary

'My daddy says you're the cat's bitch.' Keith H., six or seven, a dead skunk for a haircut, has drawn Carl being eaten by a brindle grub; his father says Carl whores himself to the AI and the mudskippers and will die any day now that the brain worms have taken over. 'Ask your dad why that other guy is always coming over when he's not home.' A one. Two hours of judging, one to thirty, between Hurk — a gleener in a tank, designer of the Desperado Club, 'perennial flower of the CrawlCon panel', blitzed, with a Shakespearean accent — and G'valt, a Bactrian camel who once wrote Session of Love, a play now performed only by NPCs on the ninth floor, and who huffs smoke from a tumbler, says 'Eat my ass, Hurk', and passes out while someone behind him votes thirty for everyone. The children are real and the judges virtual; the daycare could be Earth's. Guru-san, an armless green bubble, sculpts a lava-spitting llama; Buttercup Divinity draws her dead mother; three small black goats of the Plenty demand 'Judge us.' and get a five (Hurk: the adults sit in a circle around Prepotente and scream with him; 'nobody knows what's going on in their heads'). Carl trades Hurk a compliment on the Desperado's design for a perfect score on Lix's drawing of her pup-pop beating something, maybe an orc, to rid the universe of tax-avoiding scum; she wins with a perfect ninety over the usual winner, an Eyber slug-child's perfect portrait of Donut that Carl gave a 26; Keith last with four. Hurk, sobering for a moment: 'it’s been a while since there’s been a crawler like you. One that people pay attention to.' Then the news: the panel later is moderated by the mother of a hunter Carl killed, 'and she is quite vocal about how much she dislikes you.' 'Oh, I can't wait'

Characters

• Carl — Judges children; fixes a contest; learns who moderates his panel.
• Hurk — A gleener set designer, drunk, formal, and kind at the end.
• G'valt — A camel playwright who speaks once.
• Lix — A gnoll pup whose drawing wins by arrangement.
• Keith H. — 'You're the cat's bitch'; last place.
• Prepotente — Sits in a circle with the Plenty while they scream.

Locations

• CrawlCon — A daycare of alien children; a virtual judges' desk.

Motifs

• The show — CrawlCon's panel circuit: rising stars and the about-to-be-tossed.
• The Plenty — Three black goats demanding judgment.
• The Desperado Club — Hurk designed it.