Character · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Doctor Bones

The Penis Parade's crowned skeleton DJ, a level-90 Skin Skellie Bard with a professor's voice off stage, whose patron was Astrid and is now Carl: his Conscript charm and a better Super Spreader than Carl's make the sluggalos. 'Some are even more powerful than yours.'

Segment appearances

• Chapter 30 — Comrades
• Chapter 31 — Drop troopers; Tripper
• Chapter 56 — Justice Light; the Nest
• Chapter 65 — Bear Witness
• Chapter 67 — Hey, Dickless
• Chapter 79 — Tart

Arc

The former DJ of the Penis Parade, back in his skeletal form at the castle door with Splash Zone and the strippers behind pop-up fan-shaped shields, waiting for real magic to turn back on: 'You heathens are dead. All of you!' (ch. 30). He is among the first on his feet after the blast, with the other NPCs (ch. 31); with the flesh golems when the team regroups (ch. 56); summoned into the automatons with the rest of the party's soldiers (ch. 65) and pulled into the ball without the invulnerability the crawlers have (ch. 67). On the carriage to the Reaver castle he remembers Tart — 'Interesting lass. Whatever happened to her?' — and laughs with Dong and Splash Zone (ch. 79).