Chapter 2 of 35 · Book 3, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

Chapter 2 — Transfer station 83

Book: The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook · Previous: Chapter 1 — I'm on a train · Next: Chapter 3 — Messages from deceased Crawlers · Floor: Floor 4 — The Iron Tangle · Series: the series

Opening

The platform to transfer station #83 looked like any other subterranean subway station fro

Summary

Transfer station 83: a concrete platform, an uncovered third rail, and a Red Line sign that Carl's Escape Plan skill brings alive — stations 11 to 435, trains one way only, saferooms at every transfer station, stairwells at stations 12, 24, 36, 48 and 72 on any coloured line. They got on after 80. Upstairs, a Mole Man shopkeeper (Limp Richard), a mace guild, and a saferoom that is Nirula's fast food with a Bopca called Wendita. Mordecai teleports in as a Grulke — a five-foot warty toad, level 50 — and delivers the numbers: 389,441 crawlers left (hundreds of thousands dead in the Over City's group quests), a ten-day floor instead of twenty, and the expectation that the AI will push back against Borant's veto with better loot.

It does. Among the boxes: an achievement Cuck Aquaman! — 'my decision being overturned' — with a Platinum box of seven coupons: a free level-three personal space, two environmental upgrades, two crafting tables, two table upgrades; Katia and Donut got the same. Mordecai calls it a bigger fuck-you to the showrunners than he thought the AI could manage. The upgrade menu also shows something he has never seen, open to Carl's class: the invite-only Naughty Boys Employment Agency, 500,000 gold. Also: the Enchanted Necklace of the Haute Bourgeoisie with one gem for the skyfowl settlement (+5 dexterity, Talon Strike level 5, 432 gold every ten days), the spell Bang Bro (fire and electricity on any equipped item), a new tiara of Mana Genita — 'A pretty obscure one' — Donut's Hole spell, and Katia's shatter shield, which explains the doppelganger rule: 10% metal, continuous, and she can make any part of herself armour. Donut talks Wendita from 50,000 to 37,500 and then pays with a coupon; the three level-three spaces are conjoined into a level five with a two-hour-sleep bed, a shower, a crafting studio and Katia's training room. Carl: strength 41. 'Yeah, I'm supposed to ask you about gods.' 'That can wait.'

Characters

• Carl — Reads the line map; 24 stat points: ten to strength, nine to constitution, five to intelligence; the necklace of a magistrate.
• Princess Donut — Negotiates a Bopca to the floor; Hole; the tiara of Mana Genita; names the house.
• Mordecai — A Grulke toad now; no newsletter as a manager; engineers the conjoined level-five space.
• Katia Grim — Shatter shield; promised her coupons to Hekla; keeps them by spending them on the shared space.
• Wendita — Bopca of station 83's Nirula's; cries when the coupons land.
• Limp Richard — A Mole Man general-store keeper who reads.

Locations

• The Iron Tangle — The Red Line sign: 11–435, one direction, stairwells at 12, 24, 36, 48 and 72.
• Transfer station 83 — The party's base: saferoom, mace guild, Limp Richard's.
• The Royal Palace of Princess Donut — A conjoined level-five space bought with the AI's coupons.
• Safe rooms — Nirula's; personal spaces for sale at 50,000.

Motifs

• The System AI — Cuck Aquaman!: the AI answers the court's veto with coupons.
• Loot boxes — Tyrant's, Assassin's, boss and quest boxes; the coupons.
• The crawler count — 389,441.
• The gods — Mana Genita; 'Most of them never leave the 12th floor'; the conversation deferred again.
• The Necklace of the Haute Bourgeoisie — The chain of leadership: settlements as gems, taxes, and a Large settlement to upgrade.