Chapter 15 of 35 · Book 3, The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

Chapter 15 — The Abyss

Book: The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook · Previous: Chapter 14 — Stealing the Nightmare Express · Next: Chapter 16 — Babababoons · Floor: Floor 4 — The Iron Tangle · Series: the series

Opening

Less than five minutes later, the train rolled through the switching station.

Summary

The switching cavern has three targets for the engine's lance — Auxiliary Tracks (Warning), Station Repair, Recycle — and a colossal portal in the middle; a newer steam train passes the other way with two human heads on spears at its caboose. Abyss Station (436) is a bare platform and an hour of fire-escape stairs to an iron catwalk around a mile-wide burning pit ringed with hundreds of portals, out of which whole trains fall, driverless, onto a heap of thousands of wrecks crawling with janitor ghouls. The trains do not loop in time; they are thrown away and rebuilt, and only the engine goes home. A memory: the Grand Canyon with his mother, his father waiting in the car, her hand hurting his wrist. The portal analysis reads 'Gated by conveyance type and to key holders' and marks the compatible keys in Carl's inventory: the ochre key, the steam key — and the souvenir hat. 'All we needed to do was equip the stupid fucking train conductor hat.' The other side, in screenshots: a trainyard of engines behind a fence, thousands of zombies inside it, dwarves queueing outside, and a small portal in one corner with a wire materials cart beside it.

Carl mass-messages everyone he knows: four ways down — the hat (into the zombie yard), an engineer's key (inside your engine), the employee portal at 435 and its Kravyad, and a named train through the switching station. 'We sold our hats.' Rumours of a hidden backward train behind a wall. Back at 283 Katia has cleared the track in her big form; Donut is level 30 with Charisma 100, a new ability called Love Vampire, and D'nadia's benefactor gift — Prism Industries goggles, 'The Princess Donut', unique, signed, which turn Magic Missile into up to four lasers and make her look like Bea. Katia has nothing. Elle and Imani are stranded at 275 on the Camel line: Imani thinks Quan Ch is farming engineers and stopping lines; they will take the druggie portal back and walk, and ride the Eviscerator if the Cobalt line is down too. In a mall-food-court saferoom (Hotdog on a Stick), Love Vampire explained — one enemy takes her damage until it dies — Seize the Day toothpaste (triple damage to bosses, five uses), and York's tenth-edition essay on the hive: 'there is no shame in wanting to protect those who are your hive, even if you never knew them.' 'You can't save them all.' Carl is not sure he agrees with York's last part, on dying in the pursuit of justice, and sleeps resigned that something more must be done.

Characters

• Carl — Sees the Abyss and the trainyard; finds the hat is a key; broadcasts the four ways down.
• Princess Donut — Level 30, Charisma 100, Love Vampire; the Princess Donut goggles; rides Mongo down the track.
• Katia Grim — Clears the track as a She-Hulk; no gift from her princess.
• Elle McGibbons — Stranded at 275; 'Kill, kill, kill!'
• Imani — Blames Quan Ch; will look at a robot room on the way.
• Quan Ch — Farming train drivers and stranding everyone.
• Princess D'nadia — Had unique goggles made for Donut.
• The earlier editions — Tenth-edition author: the hive that never meets except in the book.

Locations

• The Abyss — Station 436: a burning pit a mile across where every finished train is dumped. Three switches and the Station Repair portal.
• The trainyards — Station 10 beyond the portals: engines, zombies, a fence, a small portal and a cart.

Motifs

• The Iron Tangle — The hat is the key; four ways down, broadcast to everyone.
• The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook — York's essay; the hive.
• Staying human — 'You can't save them all' against the tracks filling with stranded crawlers.
• Bea — Donut's goggles are Bea's sunglasses.