Chapter 35 of 78 · Book 5, The Butcher's Masquerade

Chapter 35 — Ballroom Blitz

Book: The Butcher's Masquerade · Part: The Unhinged Child · Previous: Chapter 34 — How to kill a mantis · Next: Chapter 36 — Swole · Floor: Floor 6 — The Hunting Grounds · Series: the series

Opening

I teleported back into the village, my face pressed up against the door to the saferoom ta

Summary

Carl lands face-first against the tavern door, a mantis slamming down where he stood and the Nebulars' missiles and fireballs hitting both of them; invisibility, smoke, Tripper on every trap in the village, and an alarm ball. 'Do it now!' Donut's clockwork Sledges go into the saferoom one after another — the first through Lucia's teleport trap into the hunters, the second with a stuffed mouser in a crown and sunglasses, and Lucia takes the bait and teleports herself, the dog and the decoy to her pre-set spot: 'THAT THING DIDN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE ME. SHE'S GONE!' An Ursine nailed upside-down to an inverted crucifix in the street, 'Leche' carved into his stomach, still alive. Sticky Feet up a temple wall; the map is blocked in the town so Ping fails; 'Ballroom Blitz' plays and every mantis on the ground gets Unsettled; a hob-lobber into the huddle kills three Nebulars but only wounds the explosion-protected bugs; a Bloodlust potion on a diving mantis makes her tear her own sister's head off and cleave a priest in half; Carl marks the priests by name from the ring's list — three intelligence stats, seven points, the ring's Marked For Death levelling to three a kill. Vrah is on the list; Lucia is not. Samantha, thrown to the ground: Vrah was waiting at Lucia's teleport spot, killed the stuffed cat first, and Lucia vanished. Carl's reading of it: Vrah kept the indestructible head to feed him false comfort, is still getting outside intelligence, and knew Lucia's saferoom trick — a spell cast inside that teleports everyone in the room to a spot outside it, a loophole years old because the trap module sits at the destination — so she waited there for all three targets, and got only Lucia. The panel's plan was suicide; he took Drick's advice and made chaos to hide in. Through the temple roof into the desecrated Temple of Diwata, full of dead dryads and guards Lucia killed. Then Vrah lands on the trap ball with the force of a meteor: level 74, bigger, her back a pustulence of decaying heads, Langley and Bogdon Ro at her shoulders like headphones. 'You are nothing but livestock, and livestock exists to be culled' — after this hunt she goes to the birthing hall of Hive Home Two to bear a thousand nymphs with the memory of his slaughter. 'Langley, I'm sorry I couldn't help you before. I appreciate your help now.' Donut, invisible, has cast Second Chance on the heads: Langley bites Vrah's neck, Bogdon Ro bites, a third bites, and Carl rams the Arrow of Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea into her throat before her shield ejects them all. Her underside catches fire; she flies. Into the saferoom, where the Sledge waits with Just Wait Until Your Daddy Gets Home; Carl kicks it out the door and slams it. The world rocks even inside. Three more mantises dead — every warrior but Vrah — one Ursine and no other NPCs; Lucia escaped, Vrah escaped burning. The only other mantis on the floor is a male salesman in Zockau, and gonorrhoea can only be cured by gelding or by passing it on. Carl writes him a note: 'We can protect you […] Bring all the gear you've collected.' 'Carl gave Vrah gonorrhea!'

Characters

• Carl — Chaos to hide in; Langley's head as an ally; an arrow in Vrah's neck; a bomb out the door.
• Princess Donut — Clockwork Sledges and a stuffed decoy; Second Chance on the heads; 'wait until you see my fight.'
• Vrah — Level 74, wearing Langley and Bogdon Ro; livestock and nymphs; escapes on fire and infected.
• Lucia Mar — Takes the bait, meets Vrah, vanishes; her saferoom loophole explained.
• Samantha — Thrown to the ground when the bait was wrong.
• Langley — Bites the neck of the thing that killed him.
• Bogdon Ro — Bites too.
• The Sledge — Waits at the door with the bomb.
• Mordecai — 'What in the gods' name did you do?'
• Katia Grim — In the space with the guild when they get back.
• Louis and Firas — 'Dude, what happened?'

Locations

• Alucarda — A crucified Ursine; a desecrated Temple of Diwata full of Lucia's dead; a map that cannot be pinged.
• Safe rooms — A loophole: a teleport cast inside that dumps the room outside.

Motifs

• The hunters — Six mantises and ten Nebulars dead; Vrah the last warrior; a salesman left in Zockau.
• The Ring of Divine Suffering — Marked by name from a list; seven intelligence; three a kill now.
• Explosives — Daddy Gets Home, finally, out a saferoom door.
• The mobs are victims — One Ursine killed; Lucia had already emptied the town.
• 'Goddamnit, Donut' — 'I can't cover my…'