Chapter 38 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 38 — Relationship advice

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: The Ramp-Up · Previous: Chapter 37 — Growler Gary, and Princess Formidable's four choices · Next: Chapter 39 — Alliances break; Operation Snake Pit · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

Now that Orren no longer had his ball, his hands didn’t seem to know what to do with each

Summary

Orren asks whether the AI's other agreements stand now that it is out of containment. The real reason for the visit is a conundrum, and it wants a female perspective: Donut lands in Carl's lap — 'Gary? You're alive?' — and Carl cannot warn her who this is; his three taps go unnoticed. 'I need relationship advice.' The metaphor: a girl who teaches him new things every day and whose family likes him, but with a concerning past and a huge ex-boyfriend she says is dead who is really in prison — is she using him, trying to make the ex jealous, wanting him to fight the ex? Donut: what someone does matters more than what she says; ask her about him. 'She doesn't bring him up unless I ask […] deliberately obtuse.' When Orren remarks that she looks like Agatha, Donut's hygiene joke gets a cracked desk and a voice of supernatural bass: 'Do not venture too far from the metaphor' Donut, trembling, asks whether the boyfriend is getting out soon — 'That's the big question' — and hears the second half: the ex's older girlfriend from the same hometown, still in the picture, wants him killed and has been talking to Gary in a roundabout way, giving pointers on how to get stronger; the two women hate each other but may want the same thing. Donut: if many people want someone dead he is either very good or very bad; find out which, then stay out of it unless there is no choice — and if the girlfriend can't accept that, she is using you. 'I think that's really good advice. Thanks, Princess Donut. Now, back to the game.' The avatar collapses, Shitfaced, reads level 175 — 'Where am I?' — and teleports away, a real gnoll again for a moment.

Characters

• Growler Gary — Asks a cat for love advice; cracks a desk; wakes up asking for Rory.
• The System AI — A girlfriend who looks like Agatha, an ex in prison, an older ex who wants him dead.
• Princess Donut — Spills the tea; trembles; gives advice the AI takes.
• Carl — 'No. It doesn’t make any sense.'
• Orren — Asks about the family; 'She looks like Agatha.'
• The System AI — 'We. All. Have. Our. Limitations.'

Locations

• The Desperado Club — Orren's office with a cracked desk.

Motifs

• The Residuals — Agatha as the girl, an imprisoned giant as the ex, an older woman as the other faction.
• The Eulogist — The boyfriend in prison, by the metaphor's shape.