Chapter 34 of 48 · Book 1, Dungeon Crawler Carl

Chapter 34 — The Krakaren Clone

Book: Dungeon Crawler Carl · Part: The Second Floor · Previous: Chapter 33 — Plan Pied Piper · Next: Chapter 35 — Dragged out by a cat · Floor: Floor 2 — The Second Floor · Series: the series

Opening

» First off, this isn’t the Krakaren.

Summary

Krakaren Clone, level 10, a communal brain that gets stupider over time. Carl makes the Rev-Up Immunity Smoothie mid-fight — a third of a glass of moonshine, one dead fairy shoved in headfirst 'like trying to stuff a Cornish game hen into a thermos,' blended on a child's stationary bike until it sparkles — and drinks it. It tastes like a skunk's diseased asshole and gives him the Buzzed debuff. So does Donut: 'Die motherfucker! Die!'

A green mist of Vigorous Measles, negated. A zombie clurichaun sent into the boss room holding a lit jug over its head like the boombox in Say Anything, with a stick of dynamite down its overalls. Carl folds himself around the cat under an alchemy table. Drunk, Donut says she loves him — less than Bea, less than Ferdinand — and then, as the explosion comes, 'I lied before. I won't be fine on my own.'

Characters

• The Krakaren — Her tentacles; her measles; her death by zombie.
• Carl — The smoothie; the clamshell; 'Go back to Brandon.'
• Princess Donut — Drunk, honest, terrified.
• Ferdinand — Ranked above Carl.
• Bea — 'Not when Bea was fucking dead.'

Locations

• The Second Floor — The expanded boss chamber.

Motifs

• 'There will always be clues' — The recipe in the corner was the whole puzzle.
• Explosives — The zombie with the jug.