Chapter 65 of 74 · Book 6, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

Chapter 65 — Graupel

Book: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride · Part: The Bedlam · Previous: Chapter 64 — Spunky Jefferson · Next: Chapter 66 — The Missing Piece · Floor: Floor 8 — The Ghosts of Earth · Series: the series

Opening

We had one hour. I lowered my voice to a whisper.

Summary

One hour. Donut in a taxi-bike basket glowing gold, casting Minion Army — the first-floor book never used, four minutes rooted, two per cent of the enemy turned, boosted by Samantha and Imani to maybe five ('utter chaos', per Mordecai and Doctor Bones). 'Chop, chop, bitches!' — forty sluggalos charge the demon block from the next street ('They're doing a Leeroy…' 'Don't even say it'; 'Who could've predicted that?'), a tidal wave of snot through stupefied demons who wake only when struck, hatchets floating and swinging beside armless necks, a barbed bat, a spinning mace ('How are they even swinging those axes?'; Louis: a battalion paratrooping behind enemy lines; Imani: 'Don't forget how Carl makes these'). Portals thrum like bass strings; half the slugs gone in thirty seconds; 'Sluggalos, retreat!' from Rampageous, level 52 in green clown makeup and a ruffle — straight at the alley, through the bicycles, knocking the frozen Donut ('Oh hey, 313. Did you see that shit? Fucking epic!'). Eighty demons follow. Elle: 'I guess it's my turn' — Graupel, a one-week cooldown, 'casting more powerful than usual': a thunderclap, fist-sized hail cratering asphalt, steam, an earthquake; six levels at once, to 72; level five cast at sixteen. Samantha, glowing blue-white, spinning and muttering: 'He’s opening a path through the river, the water, and the tree, the earth. It’s good she’s not fire yet' 'Carl, did you roofie me again?' A field of demon corpses in melting slush; the building spared; Donut's spell reached the low birds, who now fight each other and rain down — experience for every one. Forty minutes. The FOCSA building's ground floor an open-air mall of oblivious shoppers; a residents' door kicked in; the assault team — Carl, Donut, Mongo, Katia, Louis, Bautista, Li Na, Li Jun, Samantha — up the stairs ('Mongo is scared of stairs'), Tran and Britney in the stairwell, the rest holding the lobby; the slugs fled into the city (in real Faction Wars the warlord menu could recall them — a thing Priestly never knew about Conscript). Paint bubbling; environmental damage. The 32nd floor: Ines down the hall, unmoving for hours; the penthouse stair and the roof — the last automaton with both halves of a teleport trap on its back, to bump the snake and teleport it nowhere, breaking the prince free in place; kill the nun first, or he torches the building for revenge. On the roof the snake stands like a flagpole of fire and nothing notices him. 'She's chanting.' 'More poetry.' 'Poetry sucks.' The non-deckmasters go in — Carl, Louis, Li Jun, Bautista — so as not to force a card battle: 'Funny how that worked out.' The finger-breaking trick remembered. No dynamite under a deity and above thirty floors. The door opens on a glowing Ines sprinting at them screaming 'Sinner!' — the Wand of Nighty-Night drops her at Carl's feet, a two-minute timer; a marker over her head Carl misses. 'I think I just shit myself.' 'Well, that was easy.' Louis: 'I already have five player skulls and none of you guys do […] You want to put that off as long as possible […] Sorry cat lady' — a dagger to the chest. Sister Ines Quiteria, the Reaper of Havana, dead. A tornado-squiggle over Louis: marked for death by a god. 'The death of the bard has angered her celestial Patron. She is coming to seek revenge.'

Characters

• Carl — Plans the ascent; sleeps a nun with a wand; misses a marker.
• Princess Donut — Minion Army at last; birds for experience.
• Elle McGibbons — Graupel at level sixteen; six levels; 'What the hell?'
• Samantha — Glowing, muttering of trees and rivers and someone's mother.
• Louis and Firas — Kills Ines to spare the others' skulls; marked by a goddess.
• Sister Ines — Dead on a hallway floor mid-charge.
• Rampageous — The biggest sluggalo; 'Oh hey, 313.'
• Imani — 'Be careful what you wish for.'
• Katia Grim — 'Remember the finger-breaking trick.'
• Li Na — Hears the chanting through a door.
• Mongo — Afraid of stairs.

Locations

• The FOCSA building — A mall at the base, thirty-two floors of bubbling paint, a roof of fire.

Motifs

• Samantha's power — The four seasons path; the tree and the river; 'It's good she's not fire yet.'
• The Sluggalos — Forty sluggalos, a Leeroy, a retreat; the warlord menu Priestly never had.
• Ysalte — A bard's patron avenging her; Louis marked.
• Demon Eviction — Docile demons waiting for a train; hail as a war spell.
• The Nebulars — The patron behind the nun was a goddess.
• Player-killer skulls — Louis takes the sixth so the others take none.