Character · Book 6, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

Samantha

Psamathe, a minor deity banished to the Nothing by her father for bearing a king's child, half of whom escaped into the nearest naiad vessel — a sex doll of the fictional bard Lika — and now lives as a talking, immobile, latex head with fangs, a barrette reading 'Wet for you', and one refrain: 'I'm going to kill your mother.' Hired as the personal space's trainer. Her child is a sand ooze; her mother is a god.

Segment appearances

• Chapter 2 — Hills Cyclops
• Chapter 3 — The Scavenger's Daughter
• Chapter 4 — Old Havana
• Chapter 8 — The Bedlam Bride
• Chapter 9 — The Mock Battle Arena
• Chapter 11 — Asojano
• Chapter 17 — Two goddesses
• Chapter 19 — What's in the box
• Chapter 20 — Ruby
• Chapter 22 — Uzi Jesus
• Chapter 24 — Raul
• Chapter 25 — The crab trap
• Chapter 26 — MaeMae
• Chapter 27 — Phase two rules
• Chapter 28 — Rude-Dolph
• Chapter 29 — Der Schachmeister
• Chapter 30 — Four drugs
• Chapter 31 — The corridor behind the shops
• Chapter 32 — Minge
• Chapter 33 — Vorpals
• Chapter 34 — Family business
• Chapter 35 — Emergency action items
• Chapter 40 — The Book of Voodoo
• Chapter 47 — Operation Slut Stomp
• Chapter 48 — Mass Layoffs
• Chapter 53 — Flee rules
• Chapter 54 — Demon Eviction
• Chapter 55 — Survival Royale
• Chapter 56 — The Fumble
• Chapter 57 — Samantha's secret
• Chapter 58 — Amayon
• Chapter 59 — Velma
• Chapter 60 — The last rampart
• Chapter 61 — Three out of four
• Chapter 62 — Where the Sidewalk Ends
• Chapter 63 — The doggie door
• Chapter 64 — Spunky Jefferson
• Chapter 65 — Graupel
• Chapter 66 — The Missing Piece
• Chapter 67 — The Big O
• Chapter 68 — Raul's moment
• Chapter 69 — A deity has fallen
• Chapter 70 — Golden Combo
• Chapter 71 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
• Chapter 72 — Falling Up

Arc

MaeMae's friend

Samantha is swallowed by a spider and spends weeks in its stomach, planning a bachelorette party with matching shirts and a torrid affair with Louis (ch. 8, ch. 26). The spider becomes her best friend and promises her a body; she believes it. She drinks dirty Shirleys, dates a badger bartender to third base, carries him through a demon's rampage with his arm stuck in her neck, and watches him torn in half (ch. 31–ch. 33); she lets Minge out of the Nothing by wandering into a casino (ch. 32).

What she can do

She floats, then flies; she glows like a small sun and fizzles (ch. 29); she teleports an entire beach when asked to bring back one nun (ch. 55); a goddess's pickaxe bounces off her (ch. 66). Made to confess, she says she enhances spells and cannot control it, cannot teleport, reached the swamp by sticking to a train, and is 'useless' and 'a fraud' — and is told she is part of the team (ch. 57). After Elle's hail she mutters about the four seasons path, the tree and the river, and someone's mother to kill (ch. 65). Amayon knows who she really is (ch. 69).

The carnival ride

She carries spider automatons inside her for Carl's teleports (ch. 57), carries Carl himself a foot off the ground between a demon's legs (ch. 68), and has him land head-first inside her for twenty seconds of acid — 'the second weirdest sex I ever had' (ch. 69). She breaks up with him afterwards to go back to her king (ch. 72). 'We need to go clubbing more often!'