Character · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Heyzoos

HeyZoos, Uzi Jesus: a unique level-140 totem, origin Ecuador, an anime Christ in a white robe firing an Uzi — 'I am the way, motherfucker' — undead ranged healer with Bullet Hell and Resurrect Totem, given away by Florin because he shot him in the stomach. Fifty per cent compliance and a lie a minute later ('Maybe he's an atheist'); shoots himself in the shoulder; fused into Lazarus; returned as Gold Edition with twin gold Uzis to kill Quan Ch. 'Yeeeee the fuck haw!'

Segment appearances

• Chapter 7 — The Moon Reaper
• Chapter 35 — Eris and the five-sided coin
• Chapter 64 — The hole; the dolls; Corky aboard
• Chapter 97 — Eris; the wrong biscuit; the gods leave

Arc

Uzi Jesus comes back as Eris's pet: a robot action figure with a toy Uzi who climbs her dress in Hungry Eyes, says hello to Carl, and asks to go and kill Florin — 'He gave me up!' (ch. 35). In the arena he fires pop-pop-pop at the heap of Scolopendra's goo and pokes the frozen Donut with his gun (ch. 97). He is the size of the cocaine dolls (ch. 64); of the goo: 'There’s a lot of people’s auras inside that thing' (ch. 97).