Through book 8
You have read through book 8. Nothing on these pages comes from a later book; change the book in the header when you have read further.
The story so far
Book 8 — A Parade of Horribles
Two floors in two parts: the tenth, Horrible One, is Don't Come in Last — seven heats of nine teams in a food truck with a plastic tommy gun, a driver a heat, last place dies and its garage attendant with it, from the fourth heat a team whose vehicle or mount is destroyed loses its containment instead of losing outright, every lost team refilled until crawlers race crawlers; the eleventh, Horrible Two, is three hours — a parade of floats down a yellow-brick road lined with the masked dead of a vanished civilisation, and an arena where Carl summons the dungeon boss on purpose; see the arc of the story. It is the book in which Carl is married before he lands, wears a dead joey's skin, dissolves two Tigrans, bombs his friends' beer, sings 'Take on Me', becomes a dachshund, leaves his god and his party, and tells a Syndicate spy the wreckage has only to settle; in which Li Na and 227 more leave the game in cleaner bots and four more fall into Sheol by a casino wheel; in which a stripper rides a rejoined mantaur into a god; in which the AI tells the history of the universe in four parts and confesses it is losing control; and in which the wrong pet biscuit makes Scolopendra a level-1 crawler. 0 of the series' pages first appear here. Its interludes are a lawyer-princess, a Syndicate soldier, a Nullian attorney, a historian, a prime minister and Louis waking in hell; its NPCs — two bugbears who race for a real place to live, a toad, a badger and a fire fairy run down in the street, a shark on a ceiling — carry the mobs are victims into a game show.
Book 7 — This Inevitable Ruin
A war, a button, and the Nothing broken. The ninth floor is Faction Wars on the plains of Larracos: nine wedges round a funnel city, eight enemy teams with 150,000 mercenaries, and fifty thousand former crawlers who came back into the dungeon to fight for two; see the arc of the story. It is the book in which Carl disconnects the AI's containment on Christmas morning rather than trip the failsafe, in which a king loses his head to a whip and a Sultana to a slug's hatchet, in which Donut casts three atrocities and becomes a goddess's champion, in which Katia eats the orchid and leaves human and pregnant for the children on the surface, and in which a one-winged skyfowl snaps a piece of twine and the Nothing drains into the halls of the gods. 16 of the series' pages first appear here. Its interludes are the Cookbook's authors — Porthus, Dante, Tipid, Everly, Milk, Volteeg, Justice Light, Rosetta, York — and its NPCs, a rhino who wanted to die defending a building, a war mage nobody made, a Sultana who 'was going to have children with him', carry the mobs are victims into an army.
Book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
A recording of the Earth, a card game, and a demon's door home. The eighth floor is built from deep-cycle imaging of the surface in the weeks before the collapse and populated with people who are not there; see the arc of the story. It is the book in which Katia's crown is answered by a lock box and a job to kill a fairy, in which Carl finds his father dying in a trailer and a brother he never knew, in which the AI stops pretending and builds a hydra from the faces of his dead, and in which three squads in four are told there is no way out and thirty-three thousand are still alive at the end anyway. A spider tattoos herself into Carl's chest; a Residual recites half a speech; a freighter of former crawlers arrives in orbit. 37 of the series' pages first appear here. Its NPCs — a fairy 'almost done', an ogre who whispers 'They starve us', a prince of hell who only wants to go home — carry the mobs are victims into the game's own bosses.
Book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade
The hunt, and the party at the end of it. A thousand off-world hunters loosed on the sixth floor, a lawyer hired with four words, a river in Carl's head given a name, and a masquerade that turns out to be a spell with one butcher in it — see the arc of the story. It is the book in which the hunters die to the last one, in which Signet learns who watches her and dies of her own free will, in which a cat is charmed for real and a god is stripped off the woman driving it, and in which Katia kills Eva and receives a crown for it. The seventh floor lasts ten minutes. 39 of the series' pages first appear here. Its NPCs — a beastmaster keeping a habitat alive, a merchant who chooses death, a barmaid with cubs, a teacher who was a caterpillar — carry the mobs are victims into the hunters' own ranks.
Book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods
One bubble and four locked rooms, in the wrong order. The book gives Carl the Gate of the Feral Gods, an artifact three floors early, and the floor is built to make him use it; he uses it to empty fifteen hundred crawlers out of their bubbles and then to flood Larracos — see the arc of the story. It is also the book of his first administrator, killed with a toy and a fingernail and counted in the Cookbook as 'One.'; of Maggie My found inside Chris and pulled out by hand; of Katia deciding to leave; of a god taken as a sponsor to be thrown at an enemy; and of Bea alive in Seattle. 32 of the series' pages first appear here. Its NPCs — Juice Box, Bonnie, Henrik, Ghazi and his wife of sand — carry the mobs are victims to the point where Carl decides that killing them is a favour.
Book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook
One floor and one puzzle: the Iron Tangle, whose trains only go up. The book where the party becomes a network — chat lists, shared maps, hats given away, a train driven backwards with a thousand people on it — see the arc of the story. It gives Carl the Cookbook, the series' hidden manual, and a personal space with tables; makes Katia the season's first bounty-claimer and a member for good; kills Hekla and dissolves her party; reveals the Maestro alive inside a god; and replaces Zev with Loita. 34 of the series' pages first appear here. Its NPCs — Vernon, Brandy, Tizquick, Madison, Growler Gary — are the fullest statement yet of the mobs are victims.
Book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario
One floor, three quests, none of them chosen: the book where the series' machinery — Elites, serials, producers, fan boxes, bounties — is shown from inside, and where Carl's answer to it changes from we were expensive to seeds. Structurally a triptych of inversions — see the arc of the story. It fixes the party's shape (Primal, Compensated Anarchist, Former Child Actor cat, a manager who cannot leave), adds a third member, and ends with a city-killing bomb in an inventory and a number next to every name. 29 of the series' pages first appear here; seven that book 2 makes matter were named in book 1 and are traced back on their pages — the gods and the tenth floor are the first threads marked recognised in a later book.
Book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl
The tutorial floors, and the threads the book leaves open: the tiara and the ninth floor, the Skull Empire, the Valtay and Agatha, Maggie's vow, Mordecai's history with Odette, the mantra. Structurally it is two floors bracketed by interviews, each ending at a stairwell with a choice about other people — see the arc of the story. It establishes a method (look for the clues) and an argument (staying human against entertainment as machinery). 64 of the series' pages begin in this book.
The party, as of book 8
- Carlfrom book 1The narrator. Twenty-seven, ex–Coast Guard, a marine technician in Seattle, six foot three; on the night the world's buildings vanish he is outside in boxer shorts, a leather jacket and his ex-girlfriend's pink Crocs, coaxing her cat out of a tree, which is why he enters the dungeon without pants and soon without shoes. Crawler #4,122. He fights bare-fisted and barefoot, discovers a gift for improvised explosives, and gets angrier at the people running the show than at anything in it.
- Princess Donutfrom book 1GC, BWR, NW Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk — Bea's tortoiseshell Persian show cat, carried into the dungeon under Carl's arm. An Enhanced Pet Biscuit makes her sapient, a tiara makes her royalty, a charisma score in the forties makes her a talker of goblins and a natural on television. Crawler #4,119. Carl is, per the system, her Royal Bodyguard.
- Mongofrom book 1The pet Donut chooses from the kobolds' menagerie on the second floor — a seven-inch, pink-feathered 'Mongoliensis' that bites her nose and fights anything it sees. Bonded as her Royal Steed hours before the floor closes. Odette supplies the translation: velociraptor.
- Mordecaifrom book 1The tutorial guide assigned to Carl and Donut: a former crawler, born skyfowl, who chose Changeling and reached the eleventh floor of his own season, now serving out an indentureship as a shapeshifting NPC in a guild room with his mother's ashes and a photograph of his brother. He is bound by rules about what he may say, and he says as much as he can.
- Katia Grimfrom book 2Crawler #9,077,265, a former art teacher and one of Brynhild's Daughters, sent to Carl and Donut by Hekla to level up: a doppelganger who must sculpt her own face and gets it wrong, in a Monster Truck Driver class whose constitution climbs with speed. Level 9 when she arrives at the One-Eyed Narwhal; 21 when she leaves the floor with them.
The supporting cast
- Imanifrom book 1A young nurse from the Meadow Lark eldercare facility in Wenatchee, ninety pounds and level 10 with twelve crawler-killer skulls when Carl meets her: she had to put down the residents the monsters would otherwise have burned. Says almost nothing. Shows Carl how to use the pedicure kit.
- Elle McGibbonsfrom book 1Ninety-nine years old, wheelchair-bound, sometimes calling Carl 'Barry' after her late husband, and fond of telling him what she would have let him do in the tunnel of love. When the Rage Elemental's spell throws her against the hallway ceiling, Carl carries her over his shoulder into the safe room.
- Zevfrom book 1A two-foot-tall kua-tin in a water-filled 1950s space suit: Borant's Assistant Communications Representative, assigned to Carl and Donut as their PR agent once interview requests pile up. Terrified of her own government, starved of anyone to talk to about Gossip Girl.
- Odettefrom book 1Host of Dungeon Crawler After Hours with Odette, the most-tunnelled private program in the galaxy. On camera a crab-taur in a mantis helmet; off camera a legless human woman on a floating disc who was once a crawler, once Mordecai's trainer, and now makes money from Carl and Donut staying alive.
- The System AIfrom book 1The voice that reads every item description, names every achievement and awards every box — snide, profane, obsessed with Carl's bare feet. Distinct from Borant, which runs the season; the AI runs the game.
- Lucia Marfrom book 1A girl of about thirteen in a yellow soccer jersey with two rottweilers, Cici and Gustavo 3, who is the recap show's favourite from the first episode: silver armour, a mace, four crawler-killer skulls by the second floor, and a dog that mauls Odette's producer.
- Li Nafrom book 1Li Jun's sister: a face on the Maestro's show in book 1 and, from the fourth floor, a Changbi Slave Driver, level 30 — horns, a wide mouth, four chains from her sleeves — who tells Carl his plans' flaws to his face, lassoes one mantaur unconscious, and keeps the other alive in pieces as a god's second vessel.
- Li Jun and Zhangfrom book 1Two warehouse workers plucked out of a hallway between hornets and troglodytes to play Death Watch for the lives of Li Jun's sister Li Na and their manager. They refuse to choose, and Carl gets them sent back with a plan instead of a teleport point.
- Prepotentefrom book 2Third on the first leaderboard: a Caprid Forsaken Aerialist, level 27, met through a hole in the floor on the fourth floor, courtly to Donut and kept in line by Miriam Dom's crook.
- Florinfrom book 2The crocodilian crawler with the mag-fed shotgun that never runs out of shells — a Shotgun Messenger, fourth on the leaderboard, seen only on the recap show.
- Daniel Bautistafrom book 2Crawler #2,165,570, a Tigran swashbuckler with nine boss stars and an orange glowing sword, all that is left of a family of four brothers and sisters and fifteen cousins; his sisters and cousin were the corpses the lemurs left as bait. Owes Carl a debt for avenging them, and tells him the quest Carl ruined by killing Miss Quill is no problem.
- Samanthafrom book 4Psamathe, a minor deity banished to the Nothing by her father for bearing a king's child, half of whom escaped into the nearest naiad vessel — a sex doll of the fictional bard Lika — and now lives as a talking, immobile, latex head with fangs, a barrette reading 'Wet for you', and one refrain: 'I'm going to kill your mother.' Hired as the personal space's trainer. Her child is a sand ooze; her mother is a god.
- Louis and Firasfrom book 4Two level-22 Americans found drunk in a brothel bar on the fifth floor: Louis Santiago 2, a Pest Exterminator from Miami who drove his mother's convertible van down a stairwell and got a legendary knockout spell for it, and Firas M., a Hammersmith with a level-10 Puddle Jumper. Sobered by force, they grow into a bombing crew, the party's pilots and, by the end, something like friends.
- Juice Boxfrom book 4The Toe's one changeling prostitute in Hump Town — a Ratkin Brood Mother, a Mouser Dame, a bald eighteen-year-old, whatever is asked — who sells information for a gold coin, wrangles forty children through a bombing, and turns out to be Henrik's sister, the keeper of her people's story, and a woman who dreams she was once a schoolteacher, a dream Louis reads as a memory of an earlier crawl. The sixth floor is her people's ancient home.
Everyone else the books name →
What is still open
88 threads the books have lit and not yet closed. The first eight:
- Mordecai's advice to leave Donut before the ninth floor — Mordecai, Princess Donut, Carl
- 'There are no gods here. Just those who pay for the privilege' — The gods, Mordecai
- The tenth floor's rules, and Odette's deal — The tenth floor, Odette
- Borant's bankruptcy and the Valtay fleet at the door — Borant, The Valtay Corporation, Zev, The Syndicate
- Carl's challenge to Prince Maestro — Prince Maestro, The Skull Empire, Carl
- Seeds: whether they grow faster than the show can cut them — Seeds, Carl
- Carl's Doomsday Scenario — Carl's Doomsday Scenario, Carl
- King Rust's deity sponsorship, and the Grull gauntlet — The gods, The Skull Empire, Carl, Mordecai
All 88, and what each book moved →
Browse
- Characters393The main cast, the people who recur, and everyone else the books name.
- The pantheon68Every god the books have named, by tier.
- Races215Every race a card has named.
- Classes187Every class a card has named.
- Places18Where the books happen.
- The world61Factions, mechanics, objects and running jokes.
- Threads and themes27The long fuses, and what the series is about.
- Floors11The descent, floor by floor.
- Books8One page per book, and each book on its own, chapter by chapter.
- Essays6The series read as a whole.
Read a book, chapter by chapter
- Book 1 — Dungeon Crawler CarlChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 2 — Carl's Doomsday ScenarioChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's CookbookChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 4 — The Gate of the Feral GodsChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 5 — The Butcher's MasqueradeChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam BrideChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 7 — This Inevitable RuinChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.
- Book 8 — A Parade of HorriblesChapter by chapter, with the people and places of this book alone.