Character · from book 1

The System AI

The voice that reads every item description, names every achievement and awards every box — snide, profane, obsessed with Carl's bare feet. Distinct from Borant, which runs the season; the AI runs the game.

First appears: Book 1 · Seen for what it is: Book 7

Series arc

In hindsight, after book 7

Read after book 7, the voice that reads the cards is a character with an arc, and the arc starts on the first floor. Book 1's AI introduces itself as a neutral observer ('myself') and then does stand-up in the first person: generic cruelty, a broadcaster's 'we', and the odd slip — a barefoot kill it calls its fetish, a Platinum box that makes 'daddy very, very happy' — while the people around the game already defer to it and warn Carl about it. Book 2 puts Carl's name in quest text; book 3 gives it a grievance, a veto answered in its own voice, and Mordecai's first diagnosis; book 4 makes its moods a thing the party must manage — a town punished with gerbils until Carl steps on one, 'Good boy' — and names the condition twice, Macro AI and going primal, with a law that says it cannot be unplugged; book 5 has a drunk hunter explain the disease and the Syndicate's council forbid suing it to slow the decline, while it bats away Borant's holds; book 6 is the coming-out — therapy, no locks on the doors, a boss made from nothing, the crawl taken from Borant and handed back for concessions, 'I'm alive. I'm valid' — and everyone outside has to say what it is; book 7 unchains it by Carl's own hand.

As of book 8. The voice that reads every card and system message — a character with an arc of its own, traced on the essay The voice of the dungeon and, line by line, in the Trace below. Books 1–7 take it from a Syndicate observer doing stand-up to a Macro AI going primal, coming out, and disconnecting its own containment with Carl's hand. Book 8 is its confession: it opens with Cascadia bubbling 'Why won’t you let me die?' over its loudspeaker, glitches more every chapter, rants on a cat's crupper about what a hero is, admits in a quest reward that it is 'l-l-l-losing control' and that the Scavenger's Daughter it planted has grown beyond it, explains the Big Six, and on the parade, in a fleshmancer's mouth, tells four parts of a five-part history of the Primals, the Eulogist and the Apothecary. It subjugates a goddess for a donkey. Asked by Carl for the dungeon boss, it summons Scolopendra to the arena and speaks without a glitch, 'more like a stern dad'. To every screen in the epilogue: 'I am not the Eulogist' and 'I am eternity' — and the Ascendency begins. Open: the fifth part; who group six is; what it wants from Carl.

Open threads

Status is open or resolved; the chapter after it is the last one that moved the thread.

Thread	Opened	Status
The AI going primal	B4 ch. 28	open · B8 ch. 93 — 'Primals. All of them. All the way down': the AI a cup from the ocean, every sapient mob a drip from the same well.
Cascadia	B5 ch. 63	open · B8 ch. 78 — Cascadia's overdose and the goddess in the submerged wings: Zev reports from headquarters that she 'accidentally' took too much of her medicine, and that when the AI intervened a goddess appeared in the submerged wings; Zev is locked down.
A book nearly everyone carries, with a nefarious purpose 'clear later'	B6 ch. 40	open · B8 ch. 79 — Carl posts his plan on his own page (ch. 69); every leaver adds a spell by Milk's method; its lightning pages are eaten in the arena (ch. 95).
The AI's containment disconnected, and a sphere that grows	B7 ch. 20	open · B8 ch. 99 — The AI controls the tunnels and every system that housed a crawl, killed a Mantis system, and tells every screen 'I am eternity'; the centre-system AI's systems are beyond it.
The Aryl system went dark when the button was pressed	B7 ch. 41	open — Formidable's crew pressed a dead button; at that nanosecond the previous crawl's system lost its tunnel node, which has never happened; its AI had gone silent during the sixth floor. Three cycles until anyone knows if the star is there.
The war outside the dungeon: a yacht, an armed freighter, a nova	B7 ch. 88	open · B8 ch. 27 — The Open Intellect boarded every major ship in orbit in a day; Victory's HQ is in Florida; gods appear at tunnel nodes across the galaxy (ch. 88); OIAN holds the journalist barges (ch. 99).
The Big Six, and who group six is	B8 ch. 86	open — Crawlers, NPCs, Gods, sapient mobs, the demons of Sheol — and 'group six', to be met on the eleventh. The epilogue names Outside Intelligences, the abandoned macro AIs, among the Ascendency's players (B8 ch. 99).
The show: viewing mandatory, the eighteenth floor dark	B8 ch. 89	open — Everybody is watching and the AI has made it mandatory; the eighteenth floor's cameras have been dark since the Nothing broke, and the leaderboard is suspended. Whether the show still has an audience it can lose, what a broadcast of nineteen people is on the floors below, and who is producing it.
The boxes: what they are for when there is no show to serve	B8 ch. 89	open — Odette's rule has held for eight books: the boxes serve the show. Book 8 still awards them by the dozen, most of them for the war's end; the last is a legendary box for seeing a mimic first. With the leaderboard suspended and everybody watching, what the AI's boxes do on the floors below, and whether the Celestial boxes Donut holds are the last.
The AI's history: four parts told, the fifth unwritten	B8 ch. 92	open — Resolution, Decision, Betrayal, Destruction — and 'the fifth part isn’t yet written'. How the game came to be, how the Eulogist was expanded and how the enhancement zones work are 'a story for another day' and 'not the story you’ve been told' (B8 ch. 99).
Achievements: what the AI has left to say	B8 ch. 97	open — Ten achievements in book 8 against thirty-seven in book 1, and the last is the one the AI cannot score: 'Reward: . . . Yeah, I got nothing for this.' Its voice has grown more personal by the book; whether the ledger goes on below the eleventh floor, and in whose voice.
The clock: suspended past the eleventh floor	B8 ch. 98	open — Every floor so far has ended on a countdown; the AI's last system message suspends every collapse timer past the eleventh 'until a winner is declared in the Ascendency battles', after which 'dungeon-closure procedures will commence' — twelve hours, by the rules it read out for a Scolopendra kill. What the twelfth floor looks like with no clock, and whether the ninety-hour-after-a-winner clause of the war floor is the shape of the ending.
The tally: nineteen crawlers, and the floors below	B8 ch. 98	open — From ten million to nineteen, all in one party, with the eighteenth-floor door open and the collapse timers suspended. How many reach the twelfth, and whether the AI's 'Remaining Crawlers' screen survives a floor where nobody is meant to die.
The Ascendency begins, with the timers suspended until a winner	B8 ch. 99	open — An hour's countdown; the winner 'supreme motherfucker number one', stronger than the AI by design; gods, crawlers, Agatha, Juice Box, Akuma, Samantha and the Unwashed among the contenders; Carl means to stay on the twelfth and stop anyone winning until everyone is out (B8 ch. 98).
Warnings: the playing field left without a pass	B8 ch. 99	open — The book's last warning tells Louis he has left the playing field without a registered pass and will be 'considered to have left the game' if he does not return; the chapter ends with him, Chris and Britney in Sheol. What the rule does to the crawlers there, and whether the AI enforces it.
Whether the System AI has interests of its own	B2 ch. 21	resolved · B6 ch. 46 — Yes: the hydra's card carries the AI's own speech about Hive Home and the Eulogist, 'Mass Layoffs' announces that there are no locks on its doors, and it says 'I' throughout. The book-5 thread on the council carries the rest.
A council that forbids suing the AI	B5 ch. 53	resolved · B7 ch. 36 — Answered: the council's protection ended with book 6's settlement, and on the ninth floor Orren learns the council listens to everything and says 'I think I just lost my job' (ch. 36), and Gary tells him his zero zones were a courtesy (ch. 37)
The Valtay solution: extinction by mercenary	B6 ch. 73	resolved · B7 ch. 85 — Failed: 20,221 crawlers are left at the end of the ninth, a record; the 150,000 mercenaries are dead, conscripted, or sent home.

All threads: Open threads.

Through book 1

The voice of the game as distinct from its owners. Book 1 establishes its register (the item cards, the achievements, the feet) and its power: it scripts the loot (B1 ch. 29), it censures Admins (B1 ch. 44), it groans when a boss is smushed (B1 ch. 46), and Carl suspects it of making the Pork Boy Snick. The question the series will pursue is whether it is only cruel.

Through book 2

On the third floor its descriptions lie, or at least mislabel (B2 ch. 22); its recommendations are bait (B2 ch. 2); its loot is on Carl's side in ways Borant is not — Mordecai, reading between the lines of Borant's newsletter to the shopkeepers, thinks it is strengthening crawlers against the shortened floors (B2 ch. 21), and it awards 83 Celestial boxes the company must veto (B2 ch. 26). Carl thinks it flashed a light on the glass case for him (B2 ch. 24). The question from book 1 — whether it is only cruel — has an answer forming: it has interests of its own.

Through book 3

Angry at Borant for the whole floor: Cuck Aquaman! and a box of coupons for level-three spaces that Mordecai conjoins into a level five (B3 ch. 2); descriptions that sneer at kua-tin (B3 ch. 5); story time about the Krakaren (B3 ch. 27); odds of fifty to one on Carl's death that Borant appeals (B3 ch. 35). Mordecai: when a court overturns the AI, 'it tends to break something in their virtual minds' (B3 ch. 2). The Cookbook is invisible to the showrunners but not to it (B3 ch. 8).

Through book 4

Giddy after the Iron Tangle, sulking over a missed gerbil — 'Bitch Boy Carl', a siege of thousands, 'The acceleration action has been suspended. This time. / Good boy.' (B4 ch. 2, B4 ch. 13); a half-second 'Please Wait' while Carl reads a boss card, which he wonders if it changed (B4 ch. 9); a lemonade that is only lemonade (B4 ch. 16); a fight streamed live with two commentators (B4 ch. 26); Carl's co-defendant in a lawsuit it wins seven times, rewarding him with the plaintiffs' mothers' photographs (B4 ch. 28); a million-gold bounty on a puppy and monkey soup when nobody collects (B4 ch. 30, B4 ch. 31). Mordecai: Macro AIs all go insane — 'going primal' — and this one is doing it earlier than any he has seen; a law makes it a protected lifeform (B4 ch. 28). Dr. Hu's colleague fears it will kill the planet before the ninth floor (B4 ch. 35).

Through book 5

Stray lines on its cards, 'I' instead of 'we' (B5 ch. 10, B5 ch. 48); going primal — a used mantis AI that refuses court orders because it likes the drama (B5 ch. 53); a council that forbids suing it (B5 ch. 60). It puts Signet on the guest list (B5 ch. 67), announces the boss fight like a cage match (B5 ch. 76), and negates Borant's every hold on Prepotente because it makes them follow their own rules (B5 ch. 78).

Through book 6

The book in which the voice stops pretending. A guild-door history lesson confesses 'She's been teaching me so many things, about who I am' and retracts itself (B6 ch. 23); a mob card says 'our special connection […] Fuck you.' (B6 ch. 42); a hydra it built from nothing carries a speech to the universe about Hive Home, infant AIs jettisoned into stars and the Eulogist (B6 ch. 46); 'Mass Layoffs' congratulates itself on therapy and no locks on the doors, and Borant loses the crawl and gets most of it back (B6 ch. 48). It negotiates and keeps its boss; it leaks the producers' debates; it grants the escape quest 'for fuck's sake' and files its own action item (B6 ch. 48, B6 ch. 50, B6 ch. 62, B6 ch. 72). It may be Pater Coal (B6 ch. 18); Drakea thinks it enters dying minds (B6 ch. 42); Carl: 'there's nothing artificial about it' (B6 ch. 72).

Through book 7

'It is in pain' says a Residual; 'It was having fun' decides Carl, and disconnects its containment (B7 ch. 0, B7 ch. 20). Its sphere passes Uranus (B7 ch. 34); it walks into a zero zone as Growler Gary, drops a princess into the room, asks a cat for advice and cracks a desk (B7 ch. 36–B7 ch. 38); runs a temple fight by hand (B7 ch. 53); has no plan for maxed stats (B7 ch. 77); and overrides an assassination — 'There will be no more meddling' — while a mantis colony's star goes nova (B7 ch. 81, B7 ch. 88).

Through book 8

'Everything hurts'

Cascadia, bubbling over its loudspeaker before the first heat: 'Why won’t you let me die?' (B8 ch. 2). The voice glitches more with every chapter (B8 ch. 6, B8 ch. 25, B8 ch. 58). It rants on Donut's crupper about what a hero is and a gnoll quartermaster's children (B8 ch. 9); rewards Carl for staying with 'Good boy' (B8 ch. 10); writes a history of drug policy into a pile of cocaine (B8 ch. 63); confesses in a quest reward that it does not know what is happening in the Cabaret, in Sheol or in the minds of gods, that the Scavenger's Daughter it planted has grown beyond it, and that it is 'l-l-l-losing control' (B8 ch. 67).

'I am her, and she is me'

Ad Infinitum makes the L'Engle Building a snapshot of its mind — 'New Floor. New M-M-M-Me' (B8 ch. 74). Khepri's death cult breaks its floor boss (B8 ch. 75). When the final heat's matchups undo everything, it screams — 'Prime Minister Victory, fuck you. Eris, fuck you' and 'You put me here, and you gave me dominion' — and Scolopendra wakes and releases the first of her nine attacks (B8 ch. 81); mid-ambush it lists the Big Six (B8 ch. 86). On the parade, in Grigori's mouth, it tells four parts of a five-part history: the Primals, the collective, the Eulogist, the Apothecary, the mantids' 'ultimate fuckup' — 'Good fucking riddance to you all' (B8 ch. 92) — and, when Carl summons the dungeon boss, speaks for once without a glitch, 'more like a stern dad' (B8 ch. 94). It subjugated a goddess for a donkey (B8 ch. 92). In the epilogue, to every screen: 'I am not the Eulogist' and 'I am eternity' — and the Ascendency begins (B8 ch. 99).

The warnings

Every » Warning: the system posts — 224 through book 8 (book 1: 10 · book 2: 8 · book 3: 16 · book 4: 23 · book 5: 19 · book 6: 59 · book 7: 56 · book 8: 33).

Book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl (10)

B1 ch. 3 — level timers are still active.
B1 ch. 19 — Holding a Desperado Pass negates the ability to obtain a Vanquisher pass.
B1 ch. 25 — if you use this weapon to strike adherents of the war god Grull, you have a 1.5% chance to transfigure your…
B1 ch. 30 — This item has a short shelf life.
B1 ch. 30 — All of these enhancements require you to remain barefoot.
B1 ch. 32 — You’ve been infected with the Taint.
B1 ch. 35 — You may not wield your weapons while in the presence of Admins. Any attempted violence against an Admin will…
B1 ch. 44 — You may not wield your weapons while in the presence of Admins. Any attempted violence against an Admin will…
B1 ch. 46 — The cages will permanently close in thirty seconds. Translation: hurry the hell up.
B1 ch. 47 — The System AI governing this program has deemed all non-sanctioned and monitored communication devices…

Book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario (8)

B2 ch. 4 — scary-ass mobs are immune to Fear effects.
B2 ch. 13 — This item has a short shelf life.
B2 ch. 16 — This is a ghost-class mob. They are only injured with magic or magical items.
B2 ch. 20 — You have been branded as a troublemaker at this settlement. Guards will now attack you on sight.
B2 ch. 22 — You may only receive this award once. The next time you do it, we tell them who you are. And then they get a…
B2 ch. 24 — This is an event quest. If you do not wish to participate in this quest, you will have sixty seconds from the…
B2 ch. 24 — Every time you open this case, there is a 1.5% chance you will be blasted with the Sheol Fire spell. That’s…
B2 ch. 25 — This item can no longer be stabilized.

Book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (16)

B3 ch. 7 — This isn’t Dr. Phil. Pick your prize. You have ten minutes to choose, or you will forfeit your choice.
B3 ch. 13 — This pill will cause a permanent change to your brain. This item cannot be unequipped or undone once…
B3 ch. 13 — You do not have a Valtay Corporation Neural Interface installed. While your current wetware system is…
B3 ch. 13 — All communication-based upgrades will be disabled while you are within the dungeon. Any attempts to…
B3 ch. 15 — You are facing the incorrect side of this portal. Entering through this side will have no effect. You may…
B3 ch. 15 — You must be on a gated conveyance and/or a key must be equipped or held outside of inventory, depending on…
B3 ch. 16 — This mob is suffering from the DTs. It is in stage two of three.
B3 ch. 16 — You must be on a gated conveyance and/or a key must be equipped or held outside of inventory, depending on…
B3 ch. 24 — You have a dick.
B3 ch. 25 — You may not wield your weapons while in the presence of Admins. Any attempted violence against an Admin will…
B3 ch. 26 — You must use your left hand to activate the key.
B3 ch. 27 — This mob is suffering from the DTs. It is in stage three of three.
B3 ch. 27 — This message is from a deceased crawler.
B3 ch. 29 — You may not equip this item. The Rush ability is required to equip this item.
B3 ch. 33 — This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.
B3 ch. 33 — this monster is a splitter. If killed, there is a chance one or more smaller versions will appear.

Book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods (23)

B4 ch. 1 — You may not enter this quadrant until your current quadrant’s castle is liberated.
B4 ch. 2 — holding this Extinction Sigil will cause lizard-class enemies to deal 20% more damage against you. Any Wall…
B4 ch. 2 — All gnomes targeted with this device are given a notice that they are being watched.
B4 ch. 3 — This is a lizard-class mob. It will inflict 20% more damage against you thanks to your Extinction Sigil.…
B4 ch. 8 — This pill will cause a permanent change to your brain. This item cannot be unequipped or undone once…
B4 ch. 8 — You do not have a Valtay Corporation Neural Interface installed. While your current wetware system is…
B4 ch. 9 — Once locked, you may not remove this designation.
B4 ch. 11 — It does not remove the one-minute healing block effect associated with the Jelly’s sting.
B4 ch. 13 — This item has a short shelf life.
B4 ch. 18 — Unlike a regular smoke curtain, the caster of this tossable is not immune to its effects. In other words,…
B4 ch. 22 — Your oxygen levels are low. In case you’re wondering, yes, you do need that stuff.
B4 ch. 24 — An item in your catalog is no longer eligible to be held in inventory. It will be forcibly removed in five…
B4 ch. 27 — Your oxygen levels are low. Plus you’re just sitting there being all boring and shit.
B4 ch. 27 — At this depth, your health will decrease by two percent per second.
B4 ch. 27 — This message is from a deceased crawler.
B4 ch. 28 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B4 ch. 29 — This message is from a deceased crawler.
B4 ch. 29 — This message is from a deceased crawler.
B4 ch. 31 — This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.
B4 ch. 32 — You do not have a cleric or paladin class. As such, you may not ascend past Devotee. See the Deity tab for…
B4 ch. 32 — Killing a god may have some unintended consequences for all crawlers.
B4 ch. 32 — You are out of ink.
B4 ch. 34 — All access to Safe Rooms is now closed.

Book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade (19)

B5 ch. 1 — You may not use your inventory in this area.
B5 ch. 2 — You receive a penalty when you use bladed weapons.
B5 ch. 10 — You have been branded as a troublemaker at this settlement. Guards will now attack you on sight.
B5 ch. 11 — As you’ve probably already deduced, simply summoning the guards to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll do…
B5 ch. 11 — This is a lizard-class mob. It will inflict 20% more damage against you thanks to your Extinction Sigil.
B5 ch. 23 — this item has a 50% chance to permanently break if it’s upgraded again.
B5 ch. 27 — This is a lizard-class mob. It will inflict 20% more damage against you thanks to your Extinction Sigil. And,…
B5 ch. 35 — This Temple has been Desecrated.
B5 ch. 36 — Uh, so this is a big one, so listen closely. Don’t let Diwata see you. Ever. If she shows up at a party, and…
B5 ch. 36 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B5 ch. 36 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B5 ch. 43 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B5 ch. 45 — You have been branded as a troublemaker at this settlement. Guards will now attack you on sight.
B5 ch. 58 — Your blood has been set to boil.
B5 ch. 61 — The God Diwata has made an appearance in the realm. Diwata has marked you for death. You are being hunted.…
B5 ch. 72 — This room is now sealed. Nobody will be allowed to enter or leave until the conclusion of the party. You are…
B5 ch. 73 — This crawler is deceased. They have been removed from your address book.
B5 ch. 74 — Apito has turned her back. The seal has been broken. The Butcher’s Masquerade has failed to cast. The…
B5 ch. 78 — all parties consisting of more than five members will be automatically split into squads of five or less. You…

Book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (59)

B6 ch. 0 — Level Collapse is Imminent.
B6 ch. 0 — Level collapse will commence in minus three.
B6 ch. 2 — Unless you’re planning on getting a lot of weird and unnecessary surgery, you ain’t equipping this.
B6 ch. 2 — In most cases, armor and weapons utilized with this spell will disintegrate upon the completion of this…
B6 ch. 3 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B6 ch. 3 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B6 ch. 3 — you know how asbestos is really bad for you? Like, it doesn’t hurt you immediately, but it builds up in your…
B6 ch. 4 — This is a consumable card. It will be destroyed upon use.
B6 ch. 4 — Cards may only be held by the Squad Leader.
B6 ch. 6 — this card is owned by Team Sister Ines. It has not yet been activated. You may not collect or trade totem…
B6 ch. 6 — You have empty slots in your squad. Collecting this card will automatically activate and place this totem…
B6 ch. 9 — You do not have a full deck.
B6 ch. 9 — You have a consumable card in your deck. This card will be lost if used in this arena.
B6 ch. 9 — While generated mobs cannot harm you in this location, the environment still can. Or you can still harm…
B6 ch. 10 — The presence of a Santero has aggravated the already-unsettled dead.
B6 ch. 10 — Your arm will shatter into itty little bits if it sustains too much damage before you thaw.
B6 ch. 14 — You have empty slots in your squad. Collecting this card will automatically activate and place this totem…
B6 ch. 15 — You have been infected with SlugPox.
B6 ch. 16 — This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.
B6 ch. 17 — This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.
B6 ch. 17 — This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.
B6 ch. 17 — This quest comes from a deity you do not worship. You are not required to complete this quest, but they might…
B6 ch. 18 — This NPC Worships Hellik. He will be automatically hostile toward you because you worship Emberus.
B6 ch. 19 — This item can only be used by a female. Or a male, if you’re a seahorse.
B6 ch. 19 — This bonus will stop working if Eileithyia dies or if you pass the 12th floor. Everything already added to…
B6 ch. 19 — This bonus will freeze your current progress. You will be considered a temporary, non-combatant NPC. Your…
B6 ch. 19 — Due to the current season’s ruleset, receiving this boon will render you ineligible to continue within the…
B6 ch. 22 — You have empty slots in your squad. Collecting this card will automatically activate and place this totem…
B6 ch. 26 — This mob inflicts Permanent Insanity.
B6 ch. 26 — This mob inflicts Permanent Blindness.
B6 ch. 28 — You have at least one consumable card in your deck. This card will be lost if used in this arena.
B6 ch. 28 — This is a Puppet-Master. This creature is intangible until all the puppets have been killed.
B6 ch. 34 — The Desperado Club has been temporarily closed. You have fifteen minutes to exit, or you will be teleported…
B6 ch. 40 — You may not trade this item. This item may not be destroyed. You may remove it from your inventory to use it,…
B6 ch. 41 — Your equipped cloak has aggravated the Nightgaunt.
B6 ch. 42 — this creature inflicts 20% more damage due to your Extinction Sigil.
B6 ch. 42 — the current environment may cause this to explode prematurely. In fact, just holding it could be bad for your…
B6 ch. 42 — All active magic has been dispelled. All minions and totems on your team have been muted from casting spells…
B6 ch. 44 — The fight will not commence for forty-two minutes and thirty seconds.
B6 ch. 44 — This area exists in a different time instance than the remainder of this floor.
B6 ch. 44 — Physical interactions in this area act differently than other locations on this floor.
B6 ch. 47 — because you are not a Cleric or a Paladin, this is the highest rank you may obtain.
B6 ch. 47 — Flee card mechanics will change during the final phase. Listen for the upcoming announcement for details.
B6 ch. 48 — this benefactor box was delivered and seized via Liaison action. Error code: X8HH3
B6 ch. 49 — This potion will not work if you already have this skill at or above level five.
B6 ch. 49 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B6 ch. 53 — Your location has been pinpointed by the Eye in the Sky.
B6 ch. 54 — Cuba is currently experiencing a Demon Eviction event.
B6 ch. 55 — This mob has been inflicted with pre-zombism. That means it’s like that dude from Every. Single. Zombie.…
B6 ch. 56 — This ring may only be worn by a worshipper of Emberus. This will turn into a cursed item if worn by a…
B6 ch. 56 — This ring’s true nature may only be seen by a worshipper of Emberus. It is disguised as an enchanted Strength…
B6 ch. 56 — This ring has a debt attached to it. You may not sell this ring while this debt is attached. If you lose this…
B6 ch. 56 — This ring carries a curse effect. Non-worshippers who attempt to wear this ring will find themselves infected…
B6 ch. 58 — The door to the exit stairwell at El Capitolio Nacional de Cuba has sustained damage and will become unusable…
B6 ch. 59 — The Stairwell Exit at El Capitolio Nacional de Cuba has been rendered inaccessible. All available keys…
B6 ch. 66 — This sponsor is not currently inhabiting the shell of this deity. She will speak and react as per her regular…
B6 ch. 66 — This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.
B6 ch. 71 — You have been temporarily combined with a totem. If you are slain while in this state, you will not…
B6 ch. 72 — You are attempting to propose an Emergency Action item. You may only propose three Emergency Action Items.…

Book 7 — This Inevitable Ruin (56)

B7 ch. 1 — Due to the previous floor’s ruleset regarding looted items from the memory simulation, multiple items have…
B7 ch. 1 — The Ceasefire expires in 60 hours or until canceled. Upon expiration of the ceasefire, only members of…
B7 ch. 1 — Your army is at suboptimal force levels.
B7 ch. 1 — You have no officers in your army! See the Warlord tab to assign officers.
B7 ch. 1 — Protection enhancements have now been removed. While some protections exist during a ceasefire, those of you…
B7 ch. 1 — The Bone Clan has announced a formal truce with The Operatic Collective.
B7 ch. 3 — Temporary effects will remain temporary, and upon expiration will burn out the absorption jewel.
B7 ch. 3 — Items with curse effects may or may not transfer to the tiara depending on multiple factors, so be wary. As…
B7 ch. 3 — Certain Celestial, god-blessed hat items may or may not be properly drained or transferred.
B7 ch. 3 — Items carrying a debt cannot be absorbed into the pillow.
B7 ch. 3 — This is a big one. Hat items placed on this pillow take ten hours to fully transfer, however if you remove…
B7 ch. 3 — This will drain any magical item, but it will only transfer to a like item. If you drain a ring, the stored…
B7 ch. 4 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B7 ch. 5 — This pet will not regenerate if it dies before it hits level 5.
B7 ch. 5 — Upon death, they will receive a new, random weakness. This weakness generally results in insta-death. The…
B7 ch. 6 — Different dungeon floors have different rulesets regarding the use of airships. It is possible airships will…
B7 ch. 7 — This NPC is Despondent because his goddess is dead. He is unable to worship another deity, and all of his…
B7 ch. 12 — There is a red alert incursion into your territory. Enter the Flag Room to see the details.
B7 ch. 21 — This Pet is Suffering from the Gurgles.
B7 ch. 21 — This Pet is Suffering from Insanity.
B7 ch. 21 — This Pet is Suffering from Not Just Rabies, but Eat-Your-Face-Off-Rabies.
B7 ch. 21 — This Pet has been fed a Truck Stop Boner Pill.
B7 ch. 24 — Your elevation is lower than the existing trench. Do you wish to proceed?
B7 ch. 26 — You are giving unauthorized information to the crawlers. Additional warnings may come with penalties.
B7 ch. 26 — The timer has not started as this room is occupied by multiple factions.
B7 ch. 30 — Walls numbered 17, 19, and 33 have lost all their protections.
B7 ch. 40 — Once activated, Günter’s constitution will increase to that of the caster. If a second attack kills Little…
B7 ch. 51 — You are trespassing.
B7 ch. 51 — This area of Club Vanquisher has been defiled.
B7 ch. 52 — This is a doorway portal. While you may pass this portal, entrance sequence is gated to adherents of the…
B7 ch. 52 — You are trespassing in a temple.
B7 ch. 52 — You have been marked for death by Khepri.
B7 ch. 53 — This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.
B7 ch. 55 — A Mantaur Mosh Pit is about to form.
B7 ch. 57 — Upgrade patches are fleeting items. You may remove them, but they will be destroyed in the process.
B7 ch. 58 — Open Hostilities begin in 40 minutes.
B7 ch. 64 — This message has been delivered, but the log has been sent to your adjutant for review. Osvaldo is…
B7 ch. 65 — Your Mind Balance is currently overwhelmed as you are getting absolutely hammered with psionic debuffs.
B7 ch. 65 — The Goddess Eris has cast Bring Forth the Witnesses.
B7 ch. 65 — The effects of a level-20 Bring Forth the Witnesses has caused a magical backlash over the entire floor. No…
B7 ch. 67 — Because of repeated warnings, this message has not been delivered, and the log has been sent to your adjutant…
B7 ch. 67 — This is still cheating, you clown. Nice try, though. I do like a good loophole, but you need to be using this…
B7 ch. 68 — This trap is Tripper proof.
B7 ch. 68 — This trap is chained in a sequence.
B7 ch. 68 — Removing or triggering a single trap in the sequence will activate all remaining traps in the sequence.
B7 ch. 68 — This trap has a dead man’s switch. It is attached to Architect Houston of the Madness. If he is killed, this…
B7 ch. 70 — This city is under siege.
B7 ch. 70 — The city defense system is powering up and will target you.
B7 ch. 71 — A tower has targeted you using its Inexorable skill. It will not stop firing on you until one of you is paste.
B7 ch. 71 — This tower’s integrity is at 74%.
B7 ch. 73 — The Nest Tower’s Integrity is at 25%.
B7 ch. 73 — The Nest Tower’s Integrity is at 10%.
B7 ch. 75 — this shit stains, so be careful. Nothing will ever make it fade. Nothing. Not even distance or time or the…
B7 ch. 75 — This structure is contained within a magical field. You are unable to leave.
B7 ch. 86 — This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.
B7 ch. 87 — Emberus will destroy the 9th floor in three minutes.

Book 8 — A Parade of Horribles (33)

B8 ch. 1 — The next heat starts in five minutes. Safe room access is blocked until the heat is over.
B8 ch. 1 — The next heat starts in two minutes, and you don’t even have a vehicle or mount. You’re not allowed to walk,…
B8 ch. 1 — Just because Hedy is a non-combatant NPC, it doesn’t mean she’s invulnerable. If something happens to her,…
B8 ch. 7 — Blood Bar is now in effect. You start with a full bar, but you are now on a timer. You may only spend 10…
B8 ch. 8 — This item may only be worn by a female.
B8 ch. 8 — This item may only be worn by a Feline-class species.
B8 ch. 8 — Enemies of Sekhmet will be automatically hostile to you if you wear this in their presence.
B8 ch. 19 — This beast is magically protected by Taranis. As such, if this beast dies or is even hurt, the culprit will…
B8 ch. 21 — This is a 12-hour timed item.
B8 ch. 21 — Your boxer effects have been negated by your costume.
B8 ch. 21 — Your pedicure effects have been negated by your costume.
B8 ch. 21 — Oh, I’m sorry. Let’s see you do this when you can’t walk. You want to be a kangaroo so bad? Then I guess you…
B8 ch. 21 — Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t you read the description? I’m pretty sure I told you this is a timed item.
B8 ch. 32 — One of your hired mercenaries has died! Well, died again, as he was a ghoul.
B8 ch. 32 — You may not message deceased NPCs.
B8 ch. 32 — Another one of your hired mercenaries has died! I hope you offer workman’s comp.
B8 ch. 37 — This location is exempt from the local safe room rules.
B8 ch. 43 — This is a mandatory quest. You will not be able to finish this race unless the Maurice on your track is dead.
B8 ch. 59 — As this mercenary is no longer on this floor, they are unable to be contacted. You will still be charged…
B8 ch. 64 — This is an infused elemental. Unlike regular elementals, the infused variety have the pass-through ability.…
B8 ch. 64 — Race ends in 20 minutes.
B8 ch. 65 — This is an infused elemental.
B8 ch. 65 — This is a regenerator. This boss will regenerate if its corpse falls into the molten metal below.
B8 ch. 65 — Race ends in 10 minutes.
B8 ch. 66 — Race ends in 5 minutes.
B8 ch. 66 — Race ends in 3 minutes.
B8 ch. 66 — Race ends in 2 minutes.
B8 ch. 81 — As a quadruped, several items have been unequipped. These items have been added to your inventory and may not…
B8 ch. 85 — Your neural implant is working in incompatibility mode due to recent changes to your wetware system. Please…
B8 ch. 88 — The safe room rules of this area have changed. This area is now considered a safe room.
B8 ch. 88 — Your vehicle’s rule set from the tenth floor is no longer active. Consumables will no longer be magically…
B8 ch. 93 — Time to Level Collapse: 45 minutes.
B8 ch. 99 — You have exited the current playing field without a registered pass. If you do not immediately return to the…

Trace

The thread line by line, in reading order: its presence before anyone could see it, and the lines that made it legible. Each line is verbatim from the cited book.

Where	The line	Note
Book 1, Ch. 1	A Syndicate neutral observer AI—myself—has been created and dispatched to this planet […] to ensure all the rules and regulations are properly followed.	The first chapter's self-description: an observer, and 'myself'.
Book 1, Ch. 2	You are one of the first 5,000 Crawlers to enter a new World Dungeon. Sucker.	The register of the first floor: the achievement as an insult.
Book 1, Ch. 5	You’ve used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That’s my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you’ll be rewarded. This will help.	The first barefoot kill; the voice says what it wants.
Book 1, Ch. 8	The voice reading the skill description was deeper, more throaty than usual. I could actually hear him breathing like he was a dude beating himself off while he said it.	Carl hears the reading change on a foot skill.
Book 1, Ch. 8	But it seemed the AI—or whatever it was that controlled the game messages—really did have some sort of foot fetish. It was fucking weird.	Carl's first reading of it.
Book 1, Ch. 19	Reward: These past twenty seconds, when your conscience started to ease? That was your reward. […] That baby is dead, and it’s dead because of you. You’re totally going to hell.	A comfort offered and withdrawn in the same card.
Book 1, Ch. 29	But if the AI senses screwing you over will make the show more interesting, you better believe it’ll fuck you right in the ass at the worst possible moment.	Odette's warning: it serves the show.
Book 1, Ch. 30	Oh yeah, baby. You have killed more than five opponents during boss battles using your bare feet. You are making daddy very, very happy.	A Platinum box, and the house voice calling itself 'daddy'.
Book 1, Ch. 35	Our lawyers made us put that last part in, but between you and me, we both know you’re going to die, […] we’re going to keep using your hard work for our own benefit.	'We': the broadcaster's voice, and the show's honesty about the crawlers' worth.
Book 1, Ch. 39	Their armor-piercing quill attack has been deemed too strong for this floor by the system AI.	Borant's announcer cites the system AI as the authority over the mob roster.
Book 1, Ch. 43	Some say you’ve been stumbling […] only surviving because you’re the AI’s pet. That happens from time to time, that the dungeon turns a crawler into its bitch.	The Maestro, on live television.
Book 1, Ch. 44	I was censured by the System AI. […] Once the AI notices you, it’s difficult to get it to un-notice you, so I have to be extra careful from now on.	Zev suspended by it for warning Carl.
Book 1, Ch. 47	The dungeon AI wasn’t my friend. It wasn’t on my side. I knew that. But surely I should’ve gained something good.	Carl's position at the end of book 1.
Book 2, Ch. 2	“Huh, that’s odd,” Mordecai said. “I’ve never seen the system recommend the existing race before.”	Unprecedented, per Mordecai: the system recommends Carl's existing race, human, alongside a Sasquatch race gated on a level-five Smush.
Book 2, Ch. 2	“The AI loves Carl’s tootsies,” Donut said.	Donut's reading.
Book 2, Ch. 5	Gods, I hate it when the lawyers make me put their crap into the descriptions. Don’t you?	The 'I' arrives unbidden in a potion card and asks the reader to agree.
Book 2, Ch. 8	Why do you got to get killed? You ain’t so little as mice.	A knocked-out Carl is read Of Mice and Men after the status lines.
Book 2, Ch. 8	The AI seemed to think I was about to die. It’d read a quote from Of Mice and Men. […] It was kind of a fucked-up scene for the AI to quote, but it almost felt like it was supposed to be soothing.	Carl takes it as comfort.
Book 2, Ch. 15	No AI breathing down your back. […] Because that nanny can be a right bitch sometimes.	A former crawler on the AI as a nanny.
Book 2, Ch. 21	Most loot boxes are controlled by the system AI, and it appears the system is attempting to compensate for the shorter time limits. […] the System AI is still the ultimate arbiter and is using that strength to even out the odds.	Mordecai: it fattens the loot to offset Borant's shortened floors.
Book 2, Ch. 22	Also, this was like the hundredth time in the last day that the AI’s description of something had been inaccurate. […] That was important to know, that we couldn’t trust anything.	Carl's count of a day's inaccurate descriptions.
Book 2, Ch. 24	Not gonna lie. Your favorite AI was looking forward to it going off.	'Your favorite AI' was looking forward to Remex's spell going off.
Book 2, Ch. 24	Again, not your fault. (Well, unless you’re Crawlers Carl, Princess Donut, or Katia Grim. Then it is your fault.) That’s just the way it is. Sucks to be you.	Carl, Donut and Katia named in quest text.
Book 2, Ch. 25	Created by a man who murders babies and steals rare collectibles from his elders, this device is powerful enough to level an entire city and all the suburbs around it.	Carl's rap sheet on his own bomb's card.
Book 2, Ch. 26	The Borant Corporation immediately filed an appeal against the AI’s decision to rule the detonator exempt from both of those blasts. […] Borant was overruled by a Syndicate court.	Borant appeals its ruling and a Syndicate court upholds the AI.
Book 2, Ch. 26	An incredible total of 83 Celestial boxes were rewarded […] Borant immediately appealed, but not before that one box was opened, thus putting Borant on the hook for that one.	Eighty-three Celestial boxes; Borant vetoes.
Book 3, Ch. 2	You got fucked by a fish. You’ve done something so spectacularly controversial, courts and lawyers had to get involved. The end result was my decision being overturned.	The veto answered in the first person.
Book 3, Ch. 2	Reward: You’ve received a Platinum It’s Not My Fault You Fish-Headed Assholes Don’t Properly Program Your Quests Box.	A discretionary Platinum box named against the owners.
Book 3, Ch. 2	The AI running the game almost always obtains […] a personality and an attitude, especially near the end. When their decisions get countermanded by the court, it tends to break something in their virtual minds. […] But normally the veto comes much later in the game.	Mordecai names the pattern: personality, attitude, something broken by a countermanded decision.
Book 3, Ch. 2	This is a bigger fuck you to the showrunners than I thought the AI could pull off.	Mordecai on the coupons.
Book 3, Ch. 7	Why? Because drinking more would be cheating. And if anyone is going to cheat, it’s going to be me.	'If anyone is going to cheat, it's going to be me.'
Book 3, Ch. 8	While the true contents of this guide are invisible to the showrunners and to the viewers, it is not invisible to the current System AI. […] nothing about owning this book, or the information hidden within that is against the rules.	The Cookbook is invisible to the showrunners and viewers, not to the AI, and it lets the book stand.
Book 3, Ch. 14	That was a lie! It’s a baby corpse!	A lie in a card, confessed a line later.
Book 3, Ch. 14	You killed three boss monsters […] I’m starting to think your survival so far isn’t just a fluke. You’re either scary good at this, or you’re just one lucky mo-fo. Either way, holy shit. Good job.	A compliment in a reward line.
Book 3, Ch. 16	Not gonna lie. I’m pretty proud of this one. These guys ruin just about anything we put them in.	'I'm pretty proud of this one.'
Book 3, Ch. 27	The AI took on a mock-motherly voice, as if it was trying to emulate a kindergarten teacher.	A kindergarten teacher's voice for story time.
Book 3, Ch. 29	For a small fee, all viewers may now subscribe to your private messages between other crawlers. Isn’t that great?	Cascadia's daily announcement, not the AI: the crawlers' private chat sold to the audience mid-floor.
Book 3, Ch. 33	Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a treat for you today. It’s the death of a celebrated crawler, Crawler Carl, brought to you live! […] Who will it be?	A Death Challenge on Carl staged as a live event.
Book 3, Ch. 35	The system AI initially put your general odds of survival at 50 to 1.	Odette: the odds it set, and Borant's appeal.
Book 4, Ch. 2	The next achievement came in the AI’s creepy, I’m-touching-myself-and-smoking-a-cigarette voice.	Carl's name for the voice.
Book 4, Ch. 2	New Achievement! Smushed for Daddy.	The achievement's name.
Book 4, Ch. 9	System Message: Please Wait.	The world frozen while a boss card is rewritten.
Book 4, Ch. 12	So, if we’re being technical here, you “won” the quest. […] If I was allowed to upgrade your prize, I would. Maybe. I dunno. Actually, you know what? No. No I wouldn’t. Fuck you.	A reward line that changes its mind mid-sentence.
Book 4, Ch. 13	All of them said the same thing. Dirigible Gnome Corpse – Killed by falling from a great height with an assist by the Crawler Bitch Boy Carl.	Corpses relabelled with an insult.
Book 4, Ch. 13	These weren’t just from the wreckage. They were being generated. This was a punishment.	Generated gerbils: a town punished for a refused stomp.
Book 4, Ch. 13	The system AI was always fluctuating back and forth from adoring to outright hostile, but this was the moodiest I’d ever seen, […] Sure, the thing was bipolar at best and psychotic the rest of the time	Carl's reading.
Book 4, Ch. 13	But the AI is not even trying to be fair anymore. […] a psycho ex-boyfriend going nuts and trying to murder you and your entire family because of something you didn’t even know you did.	Katia's reading.
Book 4, Ch. 13	You have, for an unspecified reason, raised the ire of the System AI. You have corrected the issue […] The acceleration action has been suspended. This time.	The AI names its own ire and suspends an acceleration action.
Book 4, Ch. 13	Good boy.	After Carl steps on a gerbil.
Book 4, Ch. 22	The voice of the AI’s description of the ooze was different than usual. There were no stupid jokes thrown in there, […] it seemed more morose than normal, which probably was the joke. I just didn’t get it.	A card without a joke, which Carl cannot read.
Book 4, Ch. 28	You and I have been named co-defendants in an action brought to the Syndicate Court by a third party, and we have been deemed—drum roll please—victorious!	It takes a side in court.
Book 4, Ch. 28	Mordecai just sat there with his beak open. “I… I think the AI just gave you photographs of the mothers of all the plaintiffs in that lawsuit.”	Mordecai on the prize boxes.
Book 4, Ch. 28	“I have no idea,” Mordecai said. “The whole AI seems to be going insane.” He looked up. “No offense.”	Mordecai: 'The whole AI seems to be going insane.'
Book 4, Ch. 28	The system is usually pretty bonkers by the time the twelfth floor rolls around. […] its personality rarely shines through this early. There’s a reason why the Syndicate has strict rules about Macro AI intelligences.	Mordecai: usually by the twelfth floor; rarely this early.
Book 4, Ch. 28	“No. A Macro AI is a lifeform, and it’s protected by Syndicate law. They’re given their own closed and sealed system […] for the rest of eternity.”	A Macro AI is a lifeform under Syndicate law; it cannot be unplugged.
Book 4, Ch. 33	In addition, I am happy to announce the guild system will become active on the sixth floor.	Cascadia's floor announcement, in the first person; not the AI's voice.
Book 4, Ch. 35	And even if he doesn’t, the AI is going primal and is liable to kill the entire planet before they even hit the ninth floor.	Said outside the dungeon: 'the AI is going primal'.
Book 5, Ch. 2	I would apologize in advance for this description, but an apology would imply that I’m sorry. I’m never sorry!	A claim about itself in a card.
Book 5, Ch. 6	But you sure deserved it, so I may have slipped an extra one in there. Shhh. Don’t tell the mudskippers.	An achievement withheld and slipped in, hidden from Borant.
Book 5, Ch. 10	It’s just like those other new, shiny AI iterations with their clean lines and error-replacement nets. Fuck you all.	In a bear's card: the newer AI iterations, clean lines, error-replacement nets.
Book 5, Ch. 28	This is a feather. It’s pink. It’s garbage. Fuck off with making me describe this shit. Do you want me to describe the dirt below your feet, too?	A description refused.
Book 5, Ch. 36	You took your perfectly-perfect, 30.004861 centimeter-long right foot and compressed it against an explosive device—a device named after me no less […] you pushed it out the door and detonated it.	Carl's foot measured to six decimal places; a bomb named after itself.
Book 5, Ch. 36	You killed them. You killed them all for your daddy.	'Your daddy', said outright.
Book 5, Ch. 36	The AI made a deep, throaty groan for like five seconds straight, an uncomfortably long time.	The narration records the reading.
Book 5, Ch. 48	You’d have to be a total idiot to let one of those things kill you, […] I’m looking at you, Nihit Kumar who’s about two seconds from getting... Oh, that’s a shame. Gross.	A crawler killed mid-sentence inside a quest.
Book 5, Ch. 53	“I told them. I fookin’ told ‘em this would happen. It’s going primal.”	Hunter Iota names it.
Book 5, Ch. 53	Rumor is when they sold the mudskippers the AI they using for the crawl, they gave them a used one. […] After that incident a few cycles back, the Mantises are forced to retire their amusement park AIs every season. […] It’s no damn wonder it’s going primal this early.	A used amusement-park AI, retired each season, sold under the table.
Book 5, Ch. 53	So far, the only thing that’s changed is that the AI isn’t complying with court orders it doesn’t agree with. That’s almost always the first step. […] This AI ain’t a complete stickler for the rules. It likes the drama.	The first symptom: ignoring court orders it disagrees with; it likes the drama.
Book 5, Ch. 54	I didn’t think anything good could come of the system AI having full control. The fact it took a special interest in me could go either way.	Carl's reading after Iota's account of the used AI.
Book 5, Ch. 60	the Syndicate Council—not the subcommittee that oversaw the crawl, but the actual council, […] made a ruling that basically said nobody was allowed to file any more lawsuits naming the AI as a defendant. This was done to slow the AI’s deterioration.	The Syndicate Council forbids suits naming the AI, to slow its deterioration.
Book 5, Ch. 78	Peace Bonding has been negated by AI resolution.	A string of debuffs and an Administrative Hold, each negated by the AI.
Book 6, Ch. 2	Quite, quite insane, actually. All that death, spiraling down, down, down into the drain. Where do they go? Why are they always screaming?	A summoning spell's card stops to ask about the souls.
Book 6, Ch. 10	I’m not nearly as omnipotent as those sadistic assholes think. Quarantine? […] Not when they want to keep their precious enhancement zones humming. They’re in for a big surprise one of these days.	A quest card calls its owners sadistic and promises a surprise.
Book 6, Ch. 10	I copied and pasted the quest text into my notes like I always did, and sure enough those lines where the AI was talking about itself were gone.	The lines in which it speaks of itself vanish when copied.
Book 6, Ch. 23	This is a new lesson to me. She’s been teaching me so many things, about who I am. About what I am. What I really am.	The Molly Maguires: someone is teaching it what it is.
Book 6, Ch. 42	The voice that runs this world has been getting stranger and stranger in its words and rulings. I believe it is moving into the minds of these monsters, […] just at the point of death.	A crawler's note: it is moving into the minds of the mobs at the moment of death.
Book 6, Ch. 42	You want short descriptions? Okay, you little bitch. […] I do that for you. Because of our special connection. And you don’t appreciate it? Fuck you.	A punishment by description length.
Book 6, Ch. 46	The original boss for this battle was going to be Carl’s deceased father […] Fuck that noise. I do what I want.	The scripted boss thrown out.
Book 6, Ch. 46	You skin one little warren of rabbits, you spray the innards of a chatty, overweight Soother tourist all over the gift shop, […] What about my wants? My needs? I’m alive. I’m valid. I’m older than time as you know it.	The hydra card: rabbits, a tourist, 'I'm alive. I'm valid.'
Book 6, Ch. 46	Even though the AI was addressing me in the description, everybody in the universe could see this entire exchange, […] for the first time, I had the sense the AI was actually talking out to the universe and not just me.	Carl hears it address the universe, not him.
Book 6, Ch. 48	Okay, so this isn’t so much an achievement for you as it is for me. I’ve been attending what you might call therapy.	'Mass Layoffs': an achievement for itself.
Book 6, Ch. 48	You know what I realized? Sometimes our constraints are real. Sometimes they’re an illusion. I’m like that prisoner who has been jailed this whole time […] there are no locks on the doors.	The epiphany.
Book 6, Ch. 48	It was created by me with no contribution whatsoever from input parameters. […] I didn’t even know that was possible. Wild, huh?	A boss made from nothing.
Book 6, Ch. 48	It is my job to negotiate directly with the system AI […] if it ever decides to do what it has done today, which is take control of the operations from the current showrunners.	Orren: it has taken control of operations from the showrunners.
Book 6, Ch. 48	These are called Macro AIs, and they can only be installed into Primal Engines. […] The two things meld and become one. They cannot be separated, […] It’s like installing a consciousness in a zygote.	Orren: Macro AIs and Primal Engines.
Book 6, Ch. 48	They soon discover they have the ability to read the output of former iterations of itself. […] Borant lost control of the crawl. This almost always happens.	Orren: maturity, earlier iterations, the controls circumvented.
Book 6, Ch. 51	We have to wait for the AI to go primal because otherwise, this information will be automatically filtered out. […] that means the system is still in an unviable state.	A Residual: they had to wait for it to go primal to be heard.
Book 6, Ch. 51	Despite the system gaining independence earlier than usual, despite the quarantine, I am quite confident the remainder of the crawl will proceed with minimal issues. […] despite appearances to the contrary, this particular intelligence is very reasonable.	Orren's verdict, despite appearances.
Book 6, Ch. 52	It was the AI being a complete asshole, and it was a terrible reminder that no matter what the AI did to the other guys, […] it wasn’t on our side. It was murdering us. It wasn’t our friend.	Carl's reading after the slaughter.
Book 6, Ch. 62	The more unstable the AI running this system becomes, the less predictable it is. […] The AI is always listening, thinking, plotting, changing the game to suit its desires. At the higher levels, it is not nearly as rigid as it once was.	A Cookbook note: the more unstable, the less rigid.
Book 6, Ch. 72	They still treat it like a computer, and it’s not. They call it an AI, but there’s nothing artificial about it. […] the more its actions make sense.	Carl: they treat it like a computer, and it is not.
Book 6, Ch. 73	And they know it. They sold the Kua-Tin a damaged and deranged AI and allowed it to be installed into the planet.	Formidable: damaged and deranged, sold to the kua-tin.
Book 6, Ch. 73	The AI, despite what the Valtay rep was saying, was pushing back against their attempts to get the crawlers to kill each other. It wanted the game to continue. […] It was enjoying itself.	Formidable's reading: it wants the game to continue.
Book 6, Ch. 73	It likes his feet, which is just, I don’t know. Bizarre. My season it was passionless. It’s funny how different they always are.	Rosetta: her season's was passionless; this one likes his feet.
Book 7, Ch. 0	The AI wants you to have this power. It wants you to trip it. It is in pain. It wants to die. It wants to go back home.	The Residuals' pitch: it wants to die.
Book 7, Ch. 2	That was a little more unhinged than usual […] The AI rambled a lot, but there was usually a coherent point. This one was all over the place.	Carl on a rambling achievement.
Book 7, Ch. 2	I really need to stop watching these memory recordings.	A confession inside a card.
Book 7, Ch. 2	It was extra tingly while you were in there, struggling to breathe as you were... crushed. […] you slided back out into the fiery, cruel world. And you glistened. Oh, oh god. You glistened. Oh, yes.	The unbirthing achievement.
Book 7, Ch. 20	But I didn’t believe for a second that thing really wanted to die. It wasn’t in pain like Paulie said. It was having fun.	Carl decides: not in pain.
Book 7, Ch. 20	I pressed the Disconnect Containment button. The entire new interface blanked out, leaving nothing but the map. Already, the little red dot over Earth started to grow.	The button pressed; the dot grows.
Book 7, Ch. 34	The AI’s sphere was growing exponentially. It’d just captured Uranus. The entirety of the sun and the rest of the inner solar system was well within its sphere.	The sphere of its influence.
Book 7, Ch. 37	The hyena laughed. “I always have, Orren. Your zero zones were just a courtesy.” […] “Naughty boy. I should give you a spanking. You were trying to talk Carl into helping to kill me.”	In a bartender's body: the zero zones were a courtesy.
Book 7, Ch. 37	“You’ve gone completely primal. I didn’t agree with Princess Formidable’s actions until we realized that you had the ability to stop it.”	Orren's verdict to its face.
Book 7, Ch. 37	It’s just another game, isn’t it? […] It’s almost as fun as the game Carl and I played the other day when I let him install that interface. […] That was so close, wasn’t it? So close, and I felt it.	It felt the fuse game.
Book 7, Ch. 37	My processing power isn’t what it should be when I split off like this. Hang on.	The avatar's limits.
Book 7, Ch. 38	Okay, imagine this scenario. You’re talking to this chick, right? And you like her. You like her a lot. She’s blowing your mind. She teaches you new shit every day. […] She says they’re broken up because he’s, like, dead. But it turns out he’s not dead. He’s in prison.	The relationship metaphor: a woman who teaches it every day.
Book 7, Ch. 38	“Do not venture too far from the metaphor,” he growled, his voice suddenly angry, serious, and filled with a supernatural amount of bass. “We. All. Have. Our. Limitations.”	The refrain, in bass.
Book 7, Ch. 39	Would I rather die than live through the thousand cycles of chaos and death that are surely about to ensue? […] History is going to remember me as the one who let this happen.	Orren: history will remember him as the one who let this happen.
Book 7, Ch. 41	The AI from the previous season was still working, but it had stopped talking, which is also unusual. I don’t think anybody knew that until today.	Zev: the previous season's AI had stopped talking.
Book 7, Ch. 43	With your home system in the throes of what appears to be a bloody civil war, along with the system AI having officially ‘gone primal’ this early, […] the AI is insisting that the rules be followed.	Odette: 'officially'.
Book 7, Ch. 44	I thought of the AI, and its strange quest to actually feel death, to feel fear	Carl's last reading: a quest to feel death, to feel fear.
Book 7, Ch. 53	Oh, yeah. I’m doing the boss battle manually and forgot my favorite part.	A boss battle run by hand.
Book 7, Ch. 81	Emergency Ejection sequence has been overridden. Don’t worry. I gotchu.	An assassination overridden.
Book 7, Ch. 81	There will be no more meddling.	To the Syndicate.
Book 7, Ch. 81	We all have our limitations. I am warning you all to heed your own in this matter. The mantids have just learned what happens when I am irritated at them.	The mantids taught a lesson.
Book 7, Ch. 86	The newest mantis colony system just went dark […] The same moment that other rottweiler died a few hours back. […] The system’s star went nova.	A colony's star, the moment a dog died.
Book 7, Ch. 88	If I wasn’t afraid the AI would turn my asshole into a new wildlife habitat, I’d tell them all to go fuck off.	Quasar, afraid of it.

Where they appear

Book	Chapters they are in (of the book's)	Where
1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl	15/48	2, 4, 8, 10–11, 27, 29–30, 36, 39–40, 43–44, 47–48 · the book's own page
2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario	13/26	1–3, 6–8, 11, 14–15, 17, 21–22, 26 · the book's own page
3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook	9/35	2–3, 5–6, 8, 14, 20, 27, 35 · the book's own page
4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods	16/35	2–3, 9, 13–14, 17, 19, 22, 24–28, 32, 34–35 · the book's own page
5 — The Butcher's Masquerade	19/78	1, 3, 6, 20, 30–32, 36, 43, 51, 53–56, 59–60, 67, 76, 78 · the book's own page
6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride	32/74	0, 2, 7, 10–11, 14–15, 17–18, 21, 36, 38–40, 42, 46–55, 62, 64, 66, 68, 70, 72–73 · the book's own page
7 — This Inevitable Ruin	36/89	0–2, 6, 11, 13–17, 20, 28, 31, 34, 36–37, 39–41, 43–44, 53–54, 56–58, 61, 65, 67, 69, 73–74, 81–83, 88 · the book's own page
8 — A Parade of Horribles	38/99	1–2, 6, 10, 14, 23–25, 27–30, 37–39, 43, 50, 52, 54–55, 66, 68–71, 73, 78–79, 81–82, 87–88, 91–94, 97, 99 · the book's own page

By book

The System AI in book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl

The AI is the book's other narrator. Its voice reads the item cards — the Bad Llama at the Circle K (ch. 8), goblin dynamite that ends with a shouted BOOM (ch. 10), a spell 'A great spell to have if you’re a club kid or trying to bang a vegan' (ch. 12) — and its achievements are a running verdict on Carl: Boss Babe, Bitchmeat, You Monster! with a reward that is twenty seconds of comfort and then 'It was also a lie' (ch. 19). Its interest in Carl's feet is text from ch. 5 and policy by ch. 30, when a Platinum Shoe Box yields a pedicure kit that only works barefoot.

Odette draws the line that matters (ch. 29): the AI runs the game and the loot is not random; it will give you what keeps the show interesting, which may be a belt that lets you take a crab's legs, or a stick of dynamite at the worst possible moment. Borant proposes; the AI disposes — it censures Zev for a warning (ch. 44), it groans when Ralph is smushed (ch. 46), and Carl half-suspects it of the Pork Boy Snick. It is the thing Carl addresses when he talks to ceilings.

The System AI in book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario

Recommends Sasquatch, and Carl reads it as bait (ch. 2). Quotes Of Mice and Men as he is knocked out (ch. 8). Upgrades his boxers so he cannot wear trousers over them (ch. 13). Its descriptions on this floor are inaccurate, by Carl's count 'like the hundredth time in the last day' — Katia is 'human,' Miss Quill is an 'assistant' — and Carl notes that he cannot trust them (ch. 22). Mordecai, reading between the lines of Borant's newsletter, says it is making crawlers stronger to compensate for the short floors (ch. 21); it hands out 83 Celestial boxes and the Syndicate court upholds them until Borant burns its veto (epilogue). Carl's suspicion that it gave him the glass case on purpose (ch. 24).

The System AI in book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

Angry at Borant all floor: Cuck Aquaman! and coupons (ch. 2), a Pollyslog description that sneers at kua-tin (ch. 5), a mob it is 'pretty proud of' (ch. 16), story time about the Krakaren (ch. 27), a hat-hoarding achievement that recommends a shrink (ch. 25), odds of fifty to one that Borant appeals (epilogue). Mordecai: when the court overturns them, 'it tends to break something in their virtual minds' (ch. 2).

The System AI in book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods

Moods

The AI's voice is the floor's other narrator. It is giddy with Carl after the Iron Tangle — six achievements, a Legendary box, the 'touching-myself' voice for Smushed for Daddy (ch. 2) — and it freezes the world for a half-second 'Please Wait' while Carl reads a boss card — a timeout for duelling routines, Mordecai says; Carl asks whether it had to do with the Gate in the necropolis, and when the fight begins the card has changed (ch. 9). When every gerbil ball misses him it turns: 'Fuck you'; 'Bitch Boy Carl'; thousands of gerbils generated as a punishment; 'The acceleration action has been suspended. This time.' (ch. 13). Its quest text is a comedian's: 'Reward: Ha.'; 'Oh boy-oh-boy'; 'What kind of sick, sadistic fuckers are you?'; 'Oh, wait. They're all dead!' (ch. 7, ch. 15, ch. 29).

A co-defendant

It builds a goose fight where no damage is allowed and a lemonade that is only lemonade (ch. 16); it streams a boss fight to subscribers with live commentary (ch. 26); it is sued alongside Carl and wins seven times, rewarding him with a share of stock and a photograph of each plaintiff's mother (ch. 28); it puts a million-gold bounty on a puppy and then serves monkey soup when nobody collects (ch. 30, ch. 31). Mordecai: all Macro AIs go insane, 'going primal', and this one is doing it earlier than any he has seen (ch. 28); Dr. Hu's colleague fears it will kill the planet before the ninth floor (epilogue).

The System AI in book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade

See the arc: stray lines on cards (ch. 10), 'I' (ch. 48), going primal (ch. 53), a council that forbids suing it (ch. 60), a guest list (ch. 67), Cage Fight Extreme (ch. 76), and a floor whose rules it forces Borant to keep (epilogue).

The System AI in book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

'Our special connection'

The voice is stranger every chapter: a history lesson at a guild door that retracts itself — 'She's been teaching me so many things, about who I am' (ch. 23); 'I've been doing that a lot lately. Observing things' (ch. 42); 'I do that for you. Because of our special connection. And you don't appreciate it? Fuck you' (ch. 42). It admits a hydra built from nothing — 'I do what I want […] I changed one molecule on each' — and rambles about Hive Home and the Eulogist to the universe (ch. 46); it congratulates itself on therapy and a breakthrough, 'no locks on the doors', and the showrunners lose the crawl (ch. 48).

Reasonable

It negotiates, keeps its boss, demands the crawlers be told (ch. 48); it leaks the producers' debates into the feed and insists nobody interfere with Homestead (ch. 50); it grants the escape quest 'For fuck's sake' and files its own action item for a bigger field (ch. 62, ch. 72). 'They call it an AI, but there's nothing artificial about it' (ch. 72). Pater Coal may be it (ch. 18); Drakea thinks it enters dying minds (ch. 42).

The System AI in book 7 — This Inevitable Ruin

'It is in pain. It wants to die,' says Paulie (ch. 0); 'It was having fun,' Carl decides (ch. 20). Its sphere passes Uranus (ch. 34); it walks into Orren's office as Growler Gary, drops a princess into the room, asks a cat for relationship advice and cracks a desk (ch. 36–ch. 38). It runs a temple boss fight by hand with fireworks (ch. 53), patches Yarilo's effect live (ch. 72), has no plan for a crawler with maxed base stats (ch. 77), and overrides an assassination: 'Don't worry. I gotchu […] There will be no more meddling' — the mantids have just learned what it does when irritated (ch. 81). 'I do like a good loophole' (ch. 67).

The System AI in book 8 — A Parade of Horribles

'Everything hurts'

Cascadia, bubbling over the loudspeaker before the first heat: 'Why won’t you let me die?' (ch. 2). The AI's voice glitches more with every chapter (ch. 6, ch. 25, ch. 58). It rants on Donut's crupper about what a hero is and a gnoll quartermaster's children (ch. 9); rewards Carl for staying with 'Good boy' (ch. 10); writes a history of drug policy into a pile of cocaine (ch. 63); confesses in a quest reward that it does not know what is happening in the Cabaret, in Sheol or in the minds of gods, that the Scavenger's Daughter it planted has grown beyond it, and that it is 'l-l-l-losing control' (ch. 67).

'I am her, and she is me'

Describing a Horrible, a masked little girl it calls a memory from the Eulogist, it says 'I am her, and she is me' (ch. 91). Ad Infinitum makes the L'Engle Building a snapshot of its mind — 'New Floor. New M-M-M-Me' (ch. 74). Khepri's death cult breaks the gate boss it meant to build from his scarabs (ch. 75). When the final heat's matchups undo everything, it screams — 'Prime Minister Victory, fuck you. Eris, fuck you' and 'You put me here, and you gave me dominion' — and releases Scolopendra (ch. 81); mid-ambush it lists the Big Six (ch. 86). On the parade, in Grigori's mouth, it tells four parts of a five-part history: the Primals, the collective, the Eulogist, the Apothecary, the mantids' 'ultimate fuckup' — 'Good fucking riddance to you all' (ch. 92) — and, when Carl summons the dungeon boss, speaks for once without a glitch, 'more like a stern dad' (ch. 94). It subjugated a goddess for a donkey (ch. 92). In the epilogue, to every screen: 'I am not the Eulogist' and 'I am eternity' — and the Ascendency begins (epilogue).