Chapter 88 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 88 — Interlude: Quasar; the eleventh floor — twenty-three crawlers; Chaco's parade

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible Two · Previous: Chapter 87 — Louis goes; Safehome Yolanda; the giant Imani · Next: Chapter 89 — Every screen; the Tome of Gatekeeper; the Lucky Shot patch · Floor: Floor 11 — A Parade of Horribles · Series: the series

Opening

“Oh, thank the gods,” Quasar muttered, watching the chicken truck enter the stairwell.

Summary

Interlude. Quasar drinks at the attorney bar with Kiki, a dromedarian, a mob boss's daughter and his friend since orientation. 203 crawlers made the eleventh; 172 took deals — one season as a game guide, medical, a stipend, a gag order. Screens show gods popping up across the galaxy near Plenty-built tunnel nodes, confused and gone in minutes. Kiki's client Bautista, gone into the bots, is ruled disqualified, not dead. Then Quasar's niece Tempest calls, bleeding: Taurins came for him and hurt his brother, one claiming a contract with his client's wife, and she shot them with an illegal blaster. Princess Chandra has sent people after his family, and he hires Kiki on a one-credit retainer for both kinds of help.

On the eleventh floor, 3 hours, 15 minutes remain to collapse and 23 crawlers are left; the leaderboard is suspended, Carl's final rank 2. The Parade Float Staging Area is a safe room. In a three-minute meeting Quasar, shaking, reports one deal — freedom after a season — that he would not trust, and an exit at the twelfth's start rather than the eleventh's end, which he would not trust either. Carl still has no player-killer skull. Chandra tried to force a deal on Donut until a notification scared her off. Mordecai is now an animistic spirit occupying objects.

For Donut's class Carl vetoes Comeback Kid (every past iteration levelled, negatives included, plus a movie deal), and Mordecai proposes Elite Gurkha Warrior with a Perpetual Tank subclass, boosting pets and mercenaries and her Cockroach skill to 15. Carl insists he is still leaving the party. The truck's rule set is gone — no refills — so he throws out every potato.

Chaco, 'voluntold' as Grand Master, announces the Parade: ninety minutes to build floats; garages combined into five groups with five themes; a route past spectators who cannot attack and judging stands; then an arena representing the crawl itself, with tenth-floor monsters and a floor boss whose death opens the stairwell. Carl's group — with an ice-cream truck, an airport stair truck, Prepotente's looted Toyota Tundra, Sweety, Prepotente and Jurgen — is float five, Vengeance. The others are Resolution (Florin, with Ajib's crew), Decision, Betrayal (Imani and Elle with three Chinese crawlers) and Destruction. Zev reports that Odette's husband has bought the rights to every show Donut has mentioned, the only thing keeping the orcs solvent. Rosetta names Harry Tisch, a Crest trillionaire sheltered in the Skull Empire under Rust's veto, who pays the orcs 33%, is buying their stock and bought Odette's warrant: 'Every time you hurt one, all it does is make another richer.' Prepotente reminds Donut her druid spells can grow real flowers.

Characters

• Carl — Rank 2, no skull; leaves Donut's class to her; throws out the potatoes; 'I’m still leaving the party.'
• Princess Donut — Rank 3; the pickle class; in charge of the float.
• Quasar — Kiki, a koala tie, Tempest's blaster; 'Fucking both.'
• Princess Chandra — Sent Taurins to his family; tried to accept a deal for Donut.
• Mordecai — An animistic spirit; 'I hope you do, you coward murderer.'
• Hedy — With a new gremlin; the garage huge.
• Prepotente — Loot: an ice-cream truck, a stair truck, a Tundra; gods 'may arrive huge'
• Jurgen — With Sweety.
• Chaco — 'Voluntold' Grand Master; 'I’m gonna die.'
• Zev — Odette's husband bought every show Donut named; Orren's question.
• Rosetta Thagra — Harry Tisch, the Crest who owns the orcs; 'until the baskets overflow with their godsdamned heads.'
• Imani — Float three, Betrayal.
• Elle McGibbons — Donut, in chat, of Elle's theme: 'I WISH WE HAD BETRAYAL. THAT ONE IS EASY.'
• Florin — Float one, Resolution, with Ajib's crew.
• Garret — Rend reunites with Mongo.
• Mongo — Meets the bear and the dog.
• Odette — Married to Harry Tisch.
• Orren — Blocked from messaging.

Locations

• The parade route — The Parade Float Staging Area, a safe room.
• The garage and the cul-de-sac — The garage combined with Prepotente's.

Motifs

• The crawler count — Remaining Crawlers: 23; 203 made it, 172 dealt.
• The deal — Freedom after a season — 'I wouldn’t trust that, either.'
• The gods — Loose at tunnel nodes across the galaxy.
• Already married — The wife's contract on the lawyer.
• The Parade of Horribles — Five themes: Resolution, Decision, Betrayal, Destruction, Vengeance.
• The arena vote and the stand-ins — The picks wait for the arena.
• The show — 'It’s everybody. Literally everybody.'
• The leaderboard — Suspended under thirty; number one unnamed.