Chapter 8 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 8 — Hats; the Danforth; the godslayer box

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 7 — The Moon Reaper · Next: Chapter 9 — Radiant claws; the crupper's rant · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

I turned to Donut. “What accessories did you get?

Summary

Donut's accessories: the Assassin's Veil, a Cleopatra headdress in her own colours — +10% dexterity, a Precognition warning when someone nearby readies a spell or skill, and automatic hostility from 'Enemies of Sekhmet', which Mordecai says will mean Odette's enemies, since Sekhmet is surely under Odette's thumb by now; he wants to research before she drains it into the tiara. Two pet hats that cannot be drained: the Nemes of Pestilence for Mongo (Eternal Protector of Rage — invulnerable and doubled strength for sixty seconds when his owner is under 10%, once a day; bites with a 75% chance of Cruel Sepsis) and the Wrap of Sekhmet's Compassion for Rend (Eternal Protector of Health with Heal Party Member; fatal bites cast a level-10 Raise Bootlicker). Bigs gets no hat; Mordecai suspects the eleventh floor's Former Child Actor class comes with mercenary accessories. Donut's boxes: a celestial slap-chop box and a celestial godslayer box from War Crime, a legendary Lorena Bobbitt box (a 7-Eleven hot-dog bag) for Meatus, a Default Winner box shaped like the funnel of Larracos, forty boxes, almost all Bronze Adventurer Boxes, and a pile of clanking green Emergency Gremlin scrolls that fix vehicles mid-race. Rosetta: nobody knows what Justice did; 'Tipid doesn’t even remember him.' The Bobbitt bag yields ten Danforth bolts — no damage, but the part of the body hit is anchored in place for two seconds times the Crossbow skill, and 'If they happen to be moving at the time, the physics involved might get a little' messy. The slap-chop box, an origami swan, is the Crupper of the Benevolent Champion, the match to her cloak. The godslayer box is smoke that forms Meatus and a paw that slams him — Rosetta can still taste it — and leaves nothing behind except that Donut's right forepaw, the War Crime paw, begins to glow and hurt. 'It’ll be a good thing.' She flexes her claws and the kitchen table rips in half.

Characters

• Carl — Watches Donut's boxes; Carl, it’s your turn comes next.
• Princess Donut — The Assassin's Veil; two pet hats; ten Danforth bolts; the crupper; a glowing paw that rips the table in half.
• Mordecai — Wants to research the Veil's hostility to 'Enemies of Sekhmet' — Odette's enemies.
• Rosetta Thagra — Nobody knows what Justice did; can still taste Meatus.
• Kandy Bigs Newton — No hat; the Former Child Actor class may bring one.
• Tipid — Rosetta, of Justice Light: 'Tipid doesn’t even remember him.'
• Meatus — Smoke in the godslayer box, slammed by a paw.
• Odette — Sekhmet is surely under her thumb.

Locations

• Safe rooms — The box-opening.

Motifs

• Loot boxes — Celestial slap-chop and godslayer boxes, a Lorena Bobbitt 7-Eleven bag, forty Bronze, Emergency Gremlin scrolls.
• Achievements — War Crime and Default Winner pay out.
• The gods — Sekhmet's veil; the godslayer box.
• Atrocities — The godslayer box holds what War Crime did.
• The Cloak of the Benevolent Champion — Its match, the Crupper, from an origami swan.