Chapter 66 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 66 — Grull; Dong tilts a giant

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 65 — Upside down: Corcunda · Next: Chapter 67 — Half a prayer, half a song; one flower · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

» You are in the presence of a deity.

Summary

'You are in the presence of a deity. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.' Grull's effect: every four-legged creature's strongest attack doubled. The bull-headed centaur stands in the molten river with his axe: 'Carl, where are you? I’ve been waiting for your dumb ass to accidentally summon me.' The track ends; they drive off into a crate room and glide on Bubble Buddy, rocket-hopping toward a single exit door. Race ends in 5 minutes. Corcunda, voice unchanged, mannerisms mantaur again: Grull messaged the instant he rejoined — punishment for 'not being troo'; 'I made you a friend of my temple […] I can find you even faster!' Grigori, bleeding from the scalp: 'I should have asked if you worshipped a deity before you split.' The naked mantaur has a jagged red seam down face and chest, not perfectly aligned. Grull's axe-wind slams them down: roof crumpled, shield out, a tire gone; a slow wave of molten metal with hundreds of elementals charging ahead of the ankle-deep god. 'As tall as a mountain.' 'I’m gonna enjoy this, Meat! […] Gah!' — Donut's Laundry Day ejects the Maestro from the god's chest into the river; he cannot die on the tenth (no tourist-death floors remain), regenerates in his twelfth-floor quarters, and under the AI's mandatory-soul-armour rule will be back in Grull within minutes. 'We don’t have time to kill you now' Grull, deeper and more terrible without his rider: 'Accept your punishment like the warrior you once were.' Spider legs over a floor of spilled screws toward a two-wide door jammed with wrecks, a bulldozer pushing, everyone bunched in the god's path. Corcunda stops Donut's casting: to Dong — 'You worried if I would no longer love you once I returned to this form. But how could I not? […] You have been nothing but a shining light in my life' — Grull leaves only once he is smited; he puts the scarf round Dong's neck. Race ends in 3 minutes. Dong, near death, hand on the mantaur's cheek: 'do you really think I will ever leave your side again?' — and draws the lance unseen since the sock: 'It’s been a long time since I’ve tilted a giant.' Donut's eyes shine at Carl. 'It will be an honor to be ridden one last time.' ('What the fuck is even happening right now?' 'Shut the hell up.') Donut casts Big-Ass Magnet on the lance — fifteen seconds to full pull. 'Goodbye, Carl. Goodbye, Princess Donut […] Vale to you all. Vale.' Race ends in 2 minutes. They leap and charge; every screw within two hundred metres flies to the lance through the elementals, collapsing them to puddles; Dong, peppered by thousands, roars as the lance meets the god. 'A good death,' Grull rumbles, and vanishes to the twelfth. 'A good death indeed.' Through someone's Hole to the line with fifteen seconds to spare, 'filled with rage at this damn place'. Heat five: Sparkles first, Free Love, Flamengo, the Royal Court fourth; the Lady Dominators and the Gimp eliminated.

Characters

• Carl — Skitters for a jammed door with a god walking behind; fifteen seconds to spare.
• Princess Donut — Laundry Day ejects the Maestro; Big-Ass Magnet on the lance; eyes shining.
• Dong Quixote — 'It’s been a long time since I’ve tilted a giant'; 'Vale to you all'; dies on the lance.
• Corcunda (Corky and Porky) — 'You have been nothing but a shining light'; the scarf to Dong; 'an honor to be ridden one last time.'
• Grigori the Placid — 'I should have asked if you worshipped a deity before you split.'
• Prince Maestro — Ejected from the god's chest; cannot die on the tenth.
• Prepotente — Sweety glides past the chaos.
• Genesis and Rapture (the Lady Dominators) — Lady Dominators and the Gimp eliminated.

Locations

• The Gasworks Screw Factory, Steel Mill, and Doll Workshop — A crate room of spilled screws; the last door two wide.

Motifs

• The gods — Four-legged attacks doubled; the god speaks without his rider; Ankle-deep in metal: 'Accept your punishment like the warrior you once were'; 'A good death indeed.'
• I have dreamed thee too long / Half a prayer, half a song — Won, at the price of both.
• The mobs are victims — Dong Quixote's charge.
• The Scavenger's Daughter — 'Has opened her eyes. She fills with power.'
• The Celestial Ascendency — The Maestro's soul armour rules on the twelfth.