Chapter 5 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 5 — Dante; Sir Rendlegore

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: The Ceasefire · Previous: Chapter 4 — Gloom Wraith Phase · Next: Chapter 6 — Party Planner · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

Dante read the newsletter a third time.

Summary

The Dante interlude: a crocodilian thief and a skyfowl shopkeeper named Justice Light read Damien's newsletter — the Reavers, running a cheap season, are reassigning indentured workers to guard a snow castle on an eighth floor of mountains and gondolas, for mantis crawlers who cannot fly, one of them named York whom Dante is watching. Justice Light, ten seasons in and kept in storage between them, cannot fight crawlers and will refuse. Dante knows him: an emotional owner of the Cookbook, a brilliant trap master infamous for killing a shopkeeper, who demanded to serve his indenture as the shopkeeper he killed; Dante moved guilds to be near his brother in the book and has never told him. Fourteen seasons from freedom, with violence in his heart for those who deserve it: 'Fuck you all' His card: Thief, Crocodilian, top level 89, deal at the start of the eleventh, killed by administrative action fourteen seasons short of exit for refusing orders as an Ice Castle guard; author of the third edition. Current status: Dead.

Donut, betrayed — 'the other woman is a meatball' — meets the tummy acher: half a fist, Linus hair, a single tooth, level one, dead five times so buffed 125%, five weaknesses that can be read only when bonded, a pet that regenerates stronger each death but reverts to level one and loses its memory every fifth, needs a new name each time, and will not regenerate at all if it dies before level 5. He climbs into Mongo's open mouth giggling, is swallowed, is yakked back up, and tries to climb in again. Carl's breakfast sandwich arrives crumbled in seafood chowder; the meatball dives in and bonds after one bowl — 'Ca, Ca, Ca' — and Carl's guild has a pet stable. Donut on late additions: Cousin Oliver, Scrappy Doo, April on Gilmore Girls. Katia arrives with Bautista, Louis and Samantha, who explains Tish: Ghazi the Mad Dune Mage's ex-girlfriend at the college, whom she means to kill before Tish can steal Louis from her 'like she tried to do to Ghazi'; the child is in the dwarves' castle, still under water, and Samantha will tell Juice Box about Louis's 'affair' if he will not blow Tish up. Katia does Carl's eyebrows and eyelashes with extra hands, and says Mordecai is brewing something for her rehab before the ceasefire ends. Names: Meatball, Balzac, Sherman, Tugboat ('Goddamnit, Tugboat'), Kimmy the second; Louis holds him up like Simba — Sir Rendlegore, Rend for short, 'it fits with the royal court theme, and it still honors the past'. Splash Zone the otter stripper is fetched to power-wash the scalp tonic off in five seconds, and his spell fails because a mercenary cannot cast an offensive spell in a saferoom; Carl comes out of the shower with waist-length wavy hair that grows back when cut, for two weeks. Fabio. Donut touches everyone in the room into officers; Florin builds the hierarchy and becomes General, most of the core group with him, strippers Sergeant First Class over the Legionnaires who used to be sluggalos, Louis Army Air General. Florin, Imani and Elle leave for the headquarters and the adjutant; Katia is building something for Tran on the automaton table and thinking about vehicles. The list: train Rend, recruit, find Juice Box, scout, buy tier-three upgrades — and destroy the naga team first.

Characters

• Dante — The interlude: the third edition's author, killed for refusing orders; Justice Light's secret brother in the book.
• Justice Light — A skyfowl who killed a shopkeeper and became one; 'I can't fight. Not crawlers.'
• Garret — Level one, five deaths, one tooth; bonded over a bowl of chowder; named by Louis.
• Princess Donut — 'Carl, you're cheating on me with an imbecile'; makes everyone an officer by touch.
• Carl — Fabio; 'Don't feel bad about it. She went out like a badass.'
• Samantha — A woman scorned; Tish, Ghazi, and a child in a sunken castle.
• Katia Grim — Cosmetology with extra hands; rehab tomorrow.
• Louis and Firas — Louis names the pet and holds the rank Army Air General.
• Florin — General, by his own tinkering.
• Splash Zone — An otter water mage whose Wet Spot routine will not cast here.
• Tserendolgor — Remembered: she went out on her own terms.

Locations

• Larracos — The saferoom; a college with visitor passes; a castle under water.

Motifs

• The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook — Dante's card and his guilt at a single entry; the book recognised by its choices.
• Waking the NPCs — Indentured workers reassigned to fight; killed by administrative action for refusing.
• Faction Wars — Officers by touch; a hierarchy Florin builds; Legionnaires.
• Food boxes — Chowder style is not optional after all.