Chapter 63 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 63 — Receiving; the jump; Toddler Cocaine

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 62 — Mees Koning's page; to battle · Next: Chapter 64 — The hole; the dolls; Corky aboard · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

Tires squealed, and four of us lurched off the starting line, zooming toward the entrance

Summary

Explosives on the roof blow the tommy gun's drum off the windshield ('Careful, puta! That shrapnel hit our ass!'). Dwight sits on the line, not moving. 'Eat the page!' Containment on; five seconds' contact merges them. The receiving bay: piles of banger spheres fifteen metres high in a red glow, hundreds of knockers — tiny hard-hatted Bopca-gnomes, levels 10–15 — scattering; Bubble Buddy and the heat sink on; Grigori vomits into the deep fryer. Conveyors of pellets climb to melting vats: a jump off the belt's end skips the coil room. The Dominators take a belt, so they must too. A fire truck sideswipes at a goblin ostrich that flaps clear, and flips into a pile of metal balls; balls ricochet like shrapnel; a giraffe's shield buffers; a flamethrower hover-car burns. The GTO's gold wheels spread laterally and shower sparks. Then Bianca, Prepotente's hellspawn familiar, flies in pursuit — his plan: kill the shield after the jump and have Bianca lift Corky from the back seat; Carl's ten-minute backup is Donut's new Big-Ass Magnet. A Containment Warning cut short by Sweety, a fat grey Perriso ('deceptively fast', Dong) with a caged, shielded litter, Prepotente at the reins one-handed and Jurgen saluting with two battle-axes. Team Yokai's AMC Pacer (Carl's grandfather's car) lands from a tumbling belt while another car drops into a vat. The GTO's tires turn downward like a spaceship and it rockets ninety metres to the far belt; Sweety gallops the air on fire feet with ethereal wings; Carl hits the Rocket at the drop-off — far too much, tapped off, corrected by the bubble — and thumps down against a belt of white powder into smoke; Sweety's missiles hit the GTO twice. 'Shield is down. Bianca will move in now.' The second room's anthills of powder blind everything and froth the shield: Toddler Cocaine, 'Daddy’s Little Snow Drops', raw before the Wack Flavoring — and the AI's history of the Coblyn Corporation: knockers driven from their mineral caves who sold drugs to the miners with an E, won the war on drugs because it is a war on 'the biological imperative all living creatures have to find comfort and happiness', bought up their own ore and toys, became addicted to the money, and turned to the minors with an O — flavours with mascot dolls, Sally Speedball, Toot-Toot and Belushi of the Nose Candy Star Dusters. 'The knockers are pretty harmless […] Their magically built help, however […] Watch your ass.'

Characters

• Carl — Blows the tommy gun off; hits the Rocket too hard at the jump.
• Princess Donut — Carl: 'Eat the page!'; chews her own.
• Osvaldo — 'Careful, puta! That shrapnel hit our ass!'
• Dwight and Lucienne (Team Sparkles) — Sits on the line.
• Genesis and Rapture (the Lady Dominators) — Gold wheels spread and spark; the jump like a spaceship.
• Prepotente — Sweety's missiles kill their shield; Bianca to lift Corky.
• Jurgen — Salutes with two battle-axes.
• Bianca — Flies in pursuit.
• Grigori the Placid — Vomits into the deep fryer.
• Dong Quixote — 'That is a Perriso!'
• Team Yokai (Dekoki and Yuto) — Their AMC Pacer lands from a tumbling belt.
• The System AI — The Coblyn Corporation's history: a war on drugs is a war on the need for comfort.

Locations

• The Gasworks Screw Factory, Steel Mill, and Doll Workshop — Piles of banger spheres; knockers in hard hats; conveyors to the vats; anthills of Toddler Cocaine.

Motifs

• The AI's confessions — 'There’s not really a lesson here or a point to any of this, just a sad observation.'
• The mobs are victims — Knockers robbed of their caves.
• The tenth floor — Containment merges after five seconds.
• Explosives — Roof charges for the gun.
• Dr. Metcalf (the Navitron 1000) — The map read.