Character · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Dong Quixote

A seventy-year-old human stripper in a conquistador helmet and spandex, half his muscles turning to flab when he exhales, who carries a lance with no horse and misses his mount Corcunda, a half-mantaur ridden on stage. Carl gives him Spunky Jefferson the nickel sock, and he talks to it; he clubs a demon crab into the fire for Steve and barely speaks after.

Segment appearances

• Chapter 2 — Hosers and achievements
• Chapter 20 — Christmas Morning; the Ramp-Up
• Chapter 23 — Killing in the Name
• Chapter 24 — No Man's Land
• Chapter 25 — Empress, you have visitors
• Chapter 29 — The Bamboozle
• Chapter 39 — Alliances break; Operation Snake Pit
• Chapter 47 — Tattoos, and a flower offered
• Chapter 56 — Justice Light; the Nest
• Chapter 63 — Into the Madness
• Chapter 65 — Bear Witness
• Chapter 66 — Rolling Battle Formation
• Chapter 67 — Hey, Dickless
• Chapter 68 — The Grease Monkey
• Chapter 69 — Interlude — Several days earlier; Interlude — Rosetta; Zarogoths
• Chapter 70 — City of Broken Dreams
• Chapter 73 — An act of fiendish cruelty
• Chapter 75 — Stayfast Ink
• Chapter 76 — The Oak Fell
• Chapter 79 — Tart
• Chapter 82 — Ursensus

Arc

Gunner in the trench with a talking sock about long-term investments (ch. 20); level 45 to 52 in a night (ch. 25); petting a king's yak (ch. 39). He arrives at the Madness gate on Gonk with a lance flying the 104th's flag — 'I am an expert yakman' — by a mount-teleport trick Justice Light taught the slugs (ch. 63), and is one of two on the floor who keep the Chaos Ritual's invulnerability, for reasons nobody can explain (ch. 65, ch. 67). 'Jefferson and I have been talking' (ch. 66); a coin kissed into the sock, which is heavier now (ch. 68); a broken shoulder healed (ch. 68); 'Do you want me to get the trap or not?' (ch. 76). He guards the Nest's foot with sluggalos from nowhere (ch. 75), and gets a mount carrier from Prepotente — 'I know nothing is ever free,' he tells the sock (ch. 82). Tart, he says, was a kobold (ch. 79).