Chapter 66 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 66 — Rolling Battle Formation

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: Open Hostilities · Previous: Chapter 65 — Bear Witness · Next: Chapter 67 — Hey, Dickless · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

» Carl: Tell us everything about this goddamned ritual thing.

Summary

Mordecai explains: the Ceremony of Chaos, Eris's one-time trick for the twelfth floor, summons mortal witnesses in a giant pile so gods who need no mortals present cannot claim the Ascendent throne; witnesses are invulnerable and frozen as long as she likes, and she can turn the invulnerability off early. The pile by the Dream castle holds Katia, Elle, Imani, Bautista, Chris, Sledge, Florin, Zhang, the rainbow, the missing Reaver army — perhaps eighty thousand — and now Meatus too, invulnerable by accident. If she turns the safety off before they are freed, they crush and suffocate. Carl, one of only two with the buff, wants to abandon the raid; Donut: 'FINISH YOUR MISSION, CARL. LET ME DEAL WITH THE PILE.' Louis: the drake ripped Party Planner in half, the bombs dropped unarmed, door gunners dead, 'Glad Bonnie and Skarn weren't here… He was right… That cop's husband'; he is falling onto the Reaver castle, tracked by its security. Samantha goes to save him: Yarilo gave up the chase 'LIKE A BIG WUSSY'. Dong and Jefferson counsel pressing on to the empty Madness castle; Carl decides to trust the others. 'Warlord Princess Donut has committed an atrocity.' Rolling Battle Formation, from the skunk's wizard hat, tower-amplified: the whole pile is now one enormous remote-controlled ball, including Meatus and the unconscious Eris wrapped in him; 'THE BASE PART END OF THE WIENER IS HANGING OUT OF THE BALL […] I SEE THE GREMLIN GUY AT THE END!' Harpocrates chases it, afraid of the rainbow. 'IN MY DEFENSE, I DIDN'T KNOW THE DINK WAS GOING TO BE SUCKED INTO THE SPELL, TOO.'

Characters

• Princess Donut — A ball of swine out of eighty thousand people and two gods.
• Mordecai — 'Are you telling me you just made a ball of swine, but out of everyone?'
• Louis and Firas — Party Planner dead; 'Tell Katia […] I'm sorry to be such a fuckup.'
• Samantha — 'HE'S THE GOD OF BEING A PERVERTED LITTLE BITCH.'
• Carl — Chooses to trust and finish his own mission.
• Dong Quixote — 'Jefferson and I have been talking.'

Locations

• The Dream territory — A pile becomes a ball beside a collapsed castle.
• Party Planner — Ripped down the middle by gravity magic.

Motifs

• Atrocities — Donut's first: a spell from the Stinky Wizard Hat, made monstrous by the tower.
• The gods — The Ceremony of Chaos explained; a god made invulnerable by mistake.