Chapter 13 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 13 — The FUPA; a suicide bomber

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: The Ceasefire · Previous: Chapter 12 — The base camp; Tina · Next: Chapter 14 — The flag room and the Ramp-Up · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

Mongo screeched, waving his arms up at the giant dinosaur as they both continued to hop up

Summary

Tina, in a pink tutu with a wand, bounces around Mongo grunting 'Pa-pa'; Kiwi comes out — an ursine with an eyepatch, a scarred head, an apron and a belly about to burst — and Mongo goes to her low and uncertain; she hugs his neck, calls Tina in to help make dinner, and Mongo is left with a forlorn squeak. 'Sometimes people change, and that's all there is to it.' Florin, of the litter Kiwi is carrying by Mongo: 'how do you reckon that litter is gonna turn out?' The stronghold is the Fortress of Unyielding Power and Authority, 80% strength, a name the AI froze after the Sledge (who wanted Los Santos) and the changelings fought over it — FUPA, which Donut refuses, Tran suggests pronouncing Foop, and the chat adopts. Inside: medieval halls with murder holes leading to a bare twenty-by-twenty throne room that may not hold traps, an outer ring three storeys high for Tina and the big flesh golems, rock walls carrying 8 of 12 enchantments, sweating changelings in bugbear bodies hauling mortar. Carl asks in chat, because the walls may have ears, about scouting: only the eighteen with the Scout endorsement can cross a border during the ceasefire and are teleported home if seen; the watchtowers with Ping spells are to keep enemy scouts out, and two have already been bounced; Elle is on the naga side, the castors and the talking turtle on the other; Florin bets his left sack the camp is full of spies; the one-winged eagle trap master has gone underground and wants Carl's trap table to counter Tripper spells. In the antechamber, 'glowing more than anyone I’d ever seen', is Elite Herman the Fleet, level-70 Ogre Strongman, Legionnaire, the thin, bespectacled third of Grimaldi's ogre brothers — writhing, snapping the desk in half: 'Been waiting. Brother says you good […] Supposed to do it already. Been fighting it.' The glow is explosive satchels under his clothes. Watch out, Carl. Watch out. Donut's Magic Missile hits his face, Tipid goes to smoke, Florin shields, and Baroness Victory steps out of the flag room and puts a battle-axe through the ogre's skull as casually as fetching coffee. The satchels start to destabilise; Carl inventories the whole corpse. Her card now reads 'non-combatant' in quotes. Not a legal attack, she says: an unlawful assassination attempt by Sensation Entertainment, undue influence on an elite by the Dream, a grievance to be filed, kill credit for Donut — and then, to the ceiling: 'you are out of line by not warning me he was being influenced' A pause. 'I accept your apology.' Florin: terrified or in love.

Characters

• Kiwi — A pregnant bear with an eyepatch who hugs Mongo once and goes in.
• Big Tina — Talking now: 'Pa-pa.'
• Mongo — Sniffed at, hugged, and left confused.
• Baroness Victory — An axe through a bomber's head; an argument with the AI, won.
• Herman the Fleet — The thin ogre brother, packed with satchels, fighting the compulsion to the end.
• Princess Donut — A Magic Missile to the face; credit for the kill.
• Tipid — Smoke, instantly.
• Florin — Bets on spies; 'terrified or in love'.
• The Sledge — Wanted to name the castle Los Santos.

Locations

• The FUPA — Murder holes, a bare throne room, a three-storey ring for a dinosaur; 80% strength.

Motifs

• Faction Wars — Eighteen scouts, watchtowers with Ping, an adjutant who calls fouls.
• Sponsorship — Sensation Entertainment's third season arrives as an ogre with a bomb.
• The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — 'Watch out, Carl' — a voice that is not his.
• Elites — An elite forced to detonate; 'Been fighting it.'