Chapter 59 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 59 — Operation Ruin

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: Open Hostilities · Previous: Chapter 58 — Sultan Rishi the Usurper · Next: Chapter 60 — Meatus; the King's Point erupts · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

<Note Added by Crawler Carl, 25th edition>

Summary

Carl's Cookbook note: four simultaneous offensives and Donut's 'Coup De War Crime', seven hours if it goes to plan, the 105th split in two as a teleporting reserve, Britney coordinating with Team Retribution like a dispatcher; Florin on the orcs, Boomer on the Reavers, Donut on the Dream, Carl on the Madness, Tipid holding the FUPA, Rosetta as Theater Commander, Louis bombing for everyone. Carl rides Party Planner's first run over orc land to fatten the bombs, drops with Samantha into Reaver territory to meet Elle, leaves Samantha for Boomer's offensive, and goes with Elle through the Gate of the Feral Gods into the Madness to find and kill Houston. 'If this is my last entry, know I went down fighting.' Cascadia's combined message: 'I hate all of you […] Now get out there and kill, kill, kill!' Samantha, in Kiwi's victory rolls, has been 'entertaining the GIs' (harassing them and stealing their alcohol) after Mordecai's war movies backfired on the children; her forehead now reads 'Fuck the Cheese Dicks', and she has a theory about a goddess's clitoris named Otis-Ray. Donut has a deluxe wireless PA on every tower with a mixing board, and bard spells; Carl: no taunting, no god attention — 'Remember when Bea's cousin was making fun of the gorilla at the zoo.' 'I AM A WARLORD.' Ninety seconds. Elle has not seen Tagg; 'Happy hunting, Cowboy.' The bomber climbs through smoke every faction is burning against the Nest; the ceiling is higher than the bubbles. Two dots hidden behind the EMP bombs: Bonnie, and Skarn as a snake on her arm, both banned. 'Here we go, bitches! Let chaos reign!' Reaver seeker missiles corkscrew up through the clouds at the cloaked ship; the Dream's now magical artillery arcs at the FUPA and the Nest. Bonnie, gum in her mouth, in a Scream Warriors shirt ('We bleed when the job's done') and a farseer flak helmet like a bobblehead, takes the door gun: 'Splash three.' Something big circles the Reaver castle. Donut's Flak works; Elle has stepped through gate one; Tran is the artillery's target, not the FUPA, because two or three battalions of Dreamers have mass-teleported outside the castle — five mages chanting thirty hours — and are running for the throne room; Justice Light wants them chopped to under 3,000 before he lets them into his lair; half the 105th goes. The feral god Meatus enters the realm — Mordecai fears what it means if Meatus is the god that escaped the Nothing — and the escaped feral god summons Harpocrates; 'Abort! Tell them not to use the digger near that god!' 'I swear this happens every season.'

Characters

• Carl — A Cookbook entry that may be his last; four offensives at once.
• Samantha — Victory rolls, 'Fuck the Cheese Dicks', GIs comforted.
• Bonnie — Gum, a farseer helmet, three missiles down.
• Skarn — A snake on a gnome's arm; a Chee at the other gun.
• Louis and Firas — Flies into seeker missiles.
• Princess Donut — A PA system and a mixing board; Flak that works.
• Cascadia — 'I hate all of you.'
• Elle McGibbons — Through gate one.
• Justice Light — 'I will welcome any and all guests into my lair.'

Locations

• Party Planner — Full of bombs Carl's presence stabilises and boosts, two children and a doll head.
• The FUPA — Dreamers teleported outside it, running for the throne room.

Motifs

• The Gate of the Feral Gods — Opened by Elle; Meatus comes out.
• Faction Wars — Mass teleportation, seeker missiles, a PA on every tower.
• The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook — Carl's own entry before the battle.
• Staying human — Children banned from the guns, hidden behind the bombs anyway.