Chapter 60 of 89 · Book 7, This Inevitable Ruin

Chapter 60 — Meatus; the King's Point erupts

Book: This Inevitable Ruin · Part: Open Hostilities · Previous: Chapter 59 — Operation Ruin · Next: Chapter 61 — The War Mage Rebellion · Floor: Floor 9 — Faction Wars · Series: the series

Opening

» Mordecai: Donut, do NOT use your PA while Harpocrates is out!

Summary

Mordecai: Harpocrates, god of silence, hears a fly's heartbeat from half a planet away and smashes anything loud; Meatus is two beings with one name — a gremlin who stole Harpocrates's 'dink', sewed it on and became a god; the gremlin stays small while the dink scales to a god's size, is sapient, loud, and loves music, and Harpo will kill Meatus, try to take it back, fail, and rampage until he times out. 'OMG I LIKE THIS MEATUS GUY ALREADY.' A slurping like sewage through a grate rocks the ship and smells of soft cheese; 'See! Cheese dick!' Florin: a 700-ton scorpion tank has dug out of the riverbank and leapt the river into his flank, Stalwart probably piloting with war mages aboard. Missile support is Bomo and the Sledge at Trollish Portable Control Rooms modified to look like their game controllers, 1,500 missiles at Area 52; Florin paints the tank for chaffs and Mutes. 'Heigh ho, silver! Bombing now!' — square No Disassemble EMPs and tube-shaped Waffle Makers, Overclocked, clink out through freezing mist over the King's Point; shields crack like eggs; a green beam — a long-range death ray from a war mage's synergy tower, Carl guesses — misses by a hundred feet and spreads across the level's ceiling like poured lightning. Britney: the dwarves have dropped the agitators; the lava tubes are agitated and the mountain begins rapid eruption — enough to blow the top off and leave the throne room in open air, with Florin at its base and a dwarven plan for lava abatement; Florin's review: 'Wicked, mate.' Meatus across the map: 'NOT THIS TIME. I AM FREE […] I YEARN TO SING'; Donut: the wiener smacked the other god into the Dream castle. Deflector towers do not keep gods away. The south digger held; the Dream castle's shields are down and its elves fleeing; Rosetta hands the southern campaign to Donut: 'AND SO IT BEGINS.' 'Why is it taking so long for the mountain to explode?' The orcs put a backup shield over the whole mountain, the pressure builds — and it blows with Party Planner far too close.

Characters

• Mordecai — Meatus and Harpocrates explained, with 'dink'.
• Louis and Firas — 'Heigh ho, silver!'; punches the ceiling at a miss.
• Florin — A scorpion tank in his flank; 'Wicked, mate.'
• Prince Stalwart — Probably in a 700-ton scorpion.
• Princess Donut — Handed the southern campaign.
• Bomo — Missile support from a game controller.
• The Sledge — 'On it, boss man.'
• Britney Proskurina — Dispatches dwarves and agitators.

Locations

• The King's Point — The orc castle on a lava mountain, bombed, then erupting under its own shield.
• Party Planner — Too close to a volcano.

Motifs

• The gods — Meatus and Harpocrates, an Ascendency joke let loose on the field.
• The Gate of the Feral Gods — The first feral god has summoned a deity.
• Explosives — Waffle Makers and No Disassembles over a castle; lava tubes agitated.