Chapter 31 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 31 — Luca Di's entry; the ghoul cages; a mile of fire

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 30 — Heat three: Gluteus Maxx and the Sugar Hermits · Next: Chapter 32 — The skull of Tem; three vehicles over the line · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

<Entry from Donut’s A Banquet Fit for a Princess.

Summary

An entry from Donut's A Banquet Fit for a Princess: Luca Di, Crawler #10,284,471, human Pastamancer, final level 62 — one of those who gave her his train hat on the fourth floor. He never got on with his mother, Giulia DiMarco, put her in a home when the dementia came, and was visiting for closure the day the world collapsed; on the third floor she took the one race that would save her mind, a Benevento, and told Donut she was beautiful; with her mind repaired he finally said what he needed to and heard why she was as she was; she fell in the bubbles. 'I found forgiveness in the dungeon'; 'it’s okay to forgive yourself. Sometimes there are no good choices'; 'I love you, Princess Donut.' Drawing: a bent tube of pasta; spell: Temporary Macaroni, level 14. Green: the truck plows through skulls, gauges maxed, shimmying at flip point ('Like fucking a needle! Faster!'), Dr. Metcalf plays Halloween techno-metal to drown the chair. Carl yanks Hedy's levers: the back door bursts and both ghoul cages swing out on beams like lanterns, wings off either side, a third chain to crane one up to the roof — an engineering marvel housed in the kitchen. Team Sparkles has a rocket on the tumbleweed and leads; the Royal Court is second, the Dominators and the bugbears behind, the dog and bear far back with One Fine Pig. Carl fires all eight missiles straight up out the back: three hit the unicorn's new purple shield and encase it in green mucus so they cannot see and spin in circles ('They could turn off the shield, but the sludge would just fall upon them'). Rapture flashes devil horns. Invulnerability ends; Donut's Shield does not cover the ghouls outside. Twin twenty-foot waves of skulls come from both sides; the ghoul on the roof and the one in the cage hurl Biscuit Packs — potion balls of instantly hardening foam, three metres wide, popcorn balls that snag dozens of hermits and roll alongside screaming. They pass the floundering Team Sparkles. The road narrows; Donut casts Wall of Fire at 16: a line of flame a hundred feet high and a mile long, thirty feet off the passenger side, racing ahead. 'Heavy fucking metal!'

Characters

• Carl — Yanks Hedy's levers: the ghoul cages swing out on beams; fires all eight missiles.
• Princess Donut — Wall of Fire at 16: a hundred feet high, a mile long.
• Gluteus Maxx — 'Like fucking a needle! Faster!'
• Jikininki — The caged one hurls Biscuit Packs; the other is still climbing to the roof.
• Luca Di — His Banquet entry: Giulia DiMarco, a Benevento, forgiveness; Temporary Macaroni.
• Dwight and Lucienne (Team Sparkles) — A rocket on the tumbleweed; gooed blind by green mucus.
• Genesis and Rapture (the Lady Dominators) — Rapture flashes devil horns.

Locations

• The downhill track — Twin twenty-foot waves of skulls; the road narrows.

Motifs

• A Banquet Fit for a Princess — Luca Di's page: 'it’s okay to forgive yourself.'
• The Big Shot Chicken truck — An engineering marvel housed in the kitchen.
• Explosives — Missiles straight up; Biscuit Packs of hardening foam.
• The tenth floor — Invulnerability ends; the Shield does not cover the ghouls.
• Dorota — Metcalf plays Halloween techno-metal to drown her.