Character · from book 3
The Sledge
A Desperado Club bodyguard on the fourth floor who dances with Donut on his shoulders; on the sixth, one of four cretins lent to the party as mercenaries, a Frogger addict banned from the cabinet, who carries the town-moving spell Zerzura, crashes the Twister into two towers from the castle roof — 'Surviving is winning, Louis. Everything else is bullshit' — and casts the spell that sends the elf castle, the changelings and himself to the ninth floor.
Race and class, since book 5: Cretin · Mercenary bodyguard
First appears: Book 3
Series arc
As of book 5. A Desperado Club bodyguard in books 3 and 4, a lent mercenary with a town-moving spell in book 5: a Frogger addict who crashes the Twister into two towers from the castle roof and casts the spell that sends the elf castle, the changelings and himself to the ninth floor. 'Surviving is winning, Louis. Everything else is bullshit.'
Open threads
Status is open or resolved; the chapter after it is the last one that moved the thread.
| Thread | Opened | Status |
|---|---|---|
| The elf castle, the changelings and the Sledge on the ninth floor | B5 ch. 76 | open — Zerzura'd from the sixth: a half-destroyed castle, Signet's tattoo warriors, the changelings, a pregnant bear and a dinosaur who found her mother; the faction-wars players may not touch them. |
All threads: Open threads.
Through book 3
One of two level-35 rock cretins in tuxedos hired as bodyguards at the Desperado Club, stunned by a spell on the dance floor when it counted (B3 ch. 8), and kept on at Carl's request after Astrid's apology (B3 ch. 9) — who dances with Donut on his shoulders, buys her a protection spell with his own money (B3 ch. 14), wears a cowboy hat and a boa from Penis Parade (B3 ch. 19), and reports Frank's death from her chat (B3 ch. 20).
Through book 4
Still guarding the party's booth at the Desperado Club with Bomo, a third cretin, Very Sullen, added to the team when Katia buys a pass; Donut chats to him over a Shirley Temple and he grumbles happily back (B4 ch. 7).
Through book 5
One of four cretins delivered as collateral, holding Zerzura (B5 ch. 3), locked in with a Frogger cabinet, nearly banned from it while Bomo is to carry the bomb and back at it when the run is called off (B5 ch. 4, B5 ch. 10); a Grand Theft Auto tutor to changeling children (B5 ch. 63). His job is the last day: lead half the changelings into the castle from below (B5 ch. 67), then, when the mantises come, from above (B5 ch. 70). He ends on the roof with a controller, Bonnie, Prudence and two cubs, crashes the Twister into the last two towers 'Like helicopter in game GTA' (B5 ch. 72, B5 ch. 73), loses Prudence, is freed by changelings disguised as mantises, and casts the spell — one minute to chant, five to cast — that takes the castle and everyone in it to the ninth floor (B5 ch. 74). 'Surviving is winning, Louis. Everything else is bullshit' (B5 ch. 73); 'Five seconds. Good-bye' (B5 ch. 75).
Where they appear
| Book | Chapters they are in (of the book's) | Where |
|---|---|---|
| 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook | 7/35 | Ch. 8, Ch. 9, Ch. 14, Ch. 18, Ch. 19, Ch. 20, Ch. 25 · the book's own page |
| 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods | 6/35 | Ch. 7, Ch. 10, Ch. 19, Ch. 24, Ch. 33, Ch. 34 · the book's own page |
| 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade | 22/78 | 3–5, 10, 17, 21, 35, 37, 46, 50, 52, 54, 58, 63–64, 66–67, 70, 72–75 · the book's own page |
By book
The Sledge in book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook
Stunned by a spell on the dance floor (ch. 8, ch. 9); kept at Carl's request (ch. 9); Donut dancing on his shoulders; a protection spell bought for her with his own money (ch. 14); a cowboy hat and a boa from Penis Parade (ch. 19). He is in Donut's chat and reports Frank's death and Chris (ch. 20). Carl considers hiring the pair as a tank if Katia leaves (ch. 18).
The Sledge in book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods
Donut's Sledgie: the cretin bodyguard who stands guard with Bomo at the party's booth in the Desperado Club, and likes the Penis Parade too (ch. 7). He is the one who saw Chris sit next to Frank Q at the club's counter, talk, and crush his head, after which Chris was banned from the club (ch. 10). Donut wants to hire him as a mercenary (ch. 24); he is in her chat, which Juice Box is not (ch. 34); and he stands unnecessarily nearby while Carl and Donut worry that the ending will be anticlimactic (ch. 33).
The Sledge in book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade
One of four cretins delivered as collateral, holding Zerzura (ch. 3), locked in with a Frogger cabinet and then banned from it (ch. 4, ch. 10); a Grand Theft Auto tutor to changeling children (ch. 63). His job is the last day: lead half the changelings into the castle from below (ch. 67), then, when the mantises come, from above (ch. 70). He ends on the roof with a controller, Bonnie, Prudence and two cubs, crashes the Twister into the last two towers 'like helicopter in game GTA' (ch. 72, ch. 73), loses Prudence, is freed by changelings disguised as mantises (ch. 73), and casts the spell — one minute to chant, five to cast — that takes the castle and everyone in it to the ninth floor (ch. 74). 'Surviving is winning, Louis. Everything else is bullshit' (ch. 73). 'Five seconds. Good-bye' (ch. 75).