Chapter 18 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 18 — Heat two: the hail, and Team Sparkles' cannon

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 17 — Bucket Boy at the wheel; Dr. Metcalf · Next: Chapter 19 — One Fine Pig; Penelope · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

“Brakes!” I shouted as we lurched to a stop.

Summary

Under the start awning in four rows of two, rain deafening, Bucket Boy learning park from reverse. Jasha waves from the van with Elton John playing; ahead, Team Sparkles' vines, and Girth the Trouble — a yellow 1950s Chevy Bel Air with a blower and flames, a translucent gingerbread-man guck elemental named Masterplan hanging out the window in a screaming match with Dwight ('Team suck my gelatinous dick' / 'I’m going to wear your spleen like a hat'). The Lady Dominators' convertible is in front of them, Corcunda unseen; One Fine Pig's military truck in spot one; the Jugglers' black dog with masked riders in a row in spot two, the foxes' bear sniffing its rear. The plan: at green, Carl shatters the windshield with a special banger sphere, Donut's Danforth bolt (on the Scorpion's Bite mount with Katia's crossbow, ten bolts only) roots Rapture in place so the bear can shove the car out from under her, and the foxes or bugbears finish her while Carl throws a Molotov at Genesis and Corcunda as they pass. 'Light' hail: house-sized stones that explode the awning and blind the windshield. Green light: the sphere clears the glass, Donut hesitates — a tank barrel has slid out of Team Sparkles' bush aimed at the Bel Air — and the Chevy goes straight up like a rocket and lands burning in the ditch, Masterplan in pieces on Donut's face. 'Gargle my unicorn balls, you translucent bitch!' The cannon peels back — a once-a-race weapon, Carl guesses; the bush is suddenly fast. Girth the Trouble eliminated, seven remain: a second team lost in the heat before it began. The van plays 'Black and White', and Carl is for a moment a child in his mother's arms as she sings it; Jasha shrugs and drives off, leaving the truck alone at the line.

Characters

• Carl — Shatters the windshield with a banger sphere; for a moment a child in his mother's arms.
• Princess Donut — Hesitates on the Danforth bolt when a tank barrel slides out of the bush.
• Bucket Boy — Learning park from reverse.
• Radoslav and Jasha (Team Free Love) — Elton John, then 'Black and White', then they drive off.
• Dwight and Lucienne (Team Sparkles) — A screaming match with Masterplan; a once-a-race cannon; suddenly fast.
• Genesis and Rapture (the Lady Dominators) — The plan's target: root Rapture, shove the car out from under her.
• Corcunda (Corky and Porky) — Unseen in the convertible.
• Chiyome (the Wild Hunt) — Part of the plan with the bear.

Locations

• The hail track — House-sized 'light' hail explodes the awning.

Motifs

• The tenth floor — Girth the Trouble eliminated at the green light; seven remain.
• Carl's family — His mother singing 'Black and White'.
• Explosives — A special banger sphere for the windshield; a Molotov planned.
• The Big Shot Chicken truck — Alone at the line.