Chapter 40 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 40 — Heat four: survival containment; Team Flamengo

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 39 — The Lollipop: a needle over the singer · Next: Chapter 41 — Forty paths; Osvaldo's crystals · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

“I do not see why both of you must sit upon me at the same time,” Dorota complained.

Summary

Ten minutes to heat four, Olga driving, Carl in Dorota with Donut on his shoulder ('When you add the nude human, I am unable to function […] I worry you might get pink eye, my princess'). Donut tried the guild with a Journey song and no Auto-Tune. Quemada is silent and depressed since Akuma, a finger half raised. Three new upgrades: a gyro, a Bubble Buddy knockoff shield that electrifies (a second upgrade would let it float), and resizable all-terrain tires; the bugbears' van now hovers. Zev, neutral: the survival containment, an indestructible bubble a metre out that lets spells and projectiles through and keeps out the unbreathable air; a mandatory two-hour pit stop with garage access and vendors selling countermeasures; and the rule change — a destroyed vehicle no longer means loss, only loss of containment, and a team that survives on foot and beats another to the line lives, though not with their old vehicle; last place still loses; the winner gets a key to one defeated team's garage, with supplies or even a second vehicle to add and switch at pit stops; other heats share the track, and 'containment stealing isn’t active. Take what you will from that statement.' Team Sparkles has new exhaust ports and Lucienne driving; the Dominators, Corky asleep; One Fine Pig's audience-voted wrap — anime Tigrans kissing a pig's backside under hearts. And the replacement: Team Flamengo on Bruna the Slaughter Gnu, a six-legged armoured wildebeest-triceratops that climbs like a horny mountain goat, once the war mount of the Scads — Osvaldo, level 72, a Curupira now, red hair, something wrong with his feet, who hid through Faction Wars and lost his hawk Gimli at the masquerade; Filipe L, a level-63 Strongman with the reins; a dwarf crossbowman in a basket. They worship Tupa, so they can never enter the Cabaret — 'we were now stuck with them'. Carl's message: don't kill the pig (Taranis), the womantaurs, or the bugbears; the unicorn is the threat. Osvaldo: 'I won’t attack you during the race unless it’s you or us.' Donut: 'It’ll be easier if we stay not liking each other,' facing the window. 'Oh, Donut […] No.' One clause of the old rules survives: 'You still cannot pass the finish line outside your conveyance if your conveyance is still intact or if you are missing any team members.'

Characters

• Carl — 'Oh, Donut […] No.'
• Princess Donut — 'It’ll be easier if we stay not liking each other,' facing the window.
• Team Helix (Olga, Finley and Quemada) — Olga drives; Quemada silent and depressed since Akuma.
• Osvaldo — Team Flamengo on Bruna: level 72, a Curupira, something wrong with his feet, lost Gimli; 'unless it’s you or us.'
• Filipe L — Level-63 Strongman with the reins.
• Radoslav and Jasha (Team Free Love) — Their van now hovers.
• Dwight and Lucienne (Team Sparkles) — New exhaust ports, Lucienne driving.
• Genesis and Rapture (the Lady Dominators) — Corky asleep.
• Corcunda (Corky and Porky) — Asleep.
• Nico and Dario (One Fine Pig) — One Fine Pig's audience-voted wrap: anime Tigrans kissing a pig's backside.
• Zev — Reads the containment rules.

Locations

• The jungle track — Heat four's line; unbreathable air; a two-hour pit stop ahead.

Motifs

• The tenth floor — Survival containment; a destroyed vehicle no longer means loss; a key to a defeated garage; 'containment stealing isn’t active.'
• Dorota — 'When you add the nude human, I am unable to function.'
• The Pineapple Cabaret — Flamengo worship Tupa and can never enter.
• The gods — Tupa.
• Staying human — Donut chooses not to like them.