Chapter 57 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 57 — The brawl; Sing for your supper

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 56 — Take on Me · Next: Chapter 58 — Jurgen at the door; Porky's zipper · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

The music continued. The gauges remained ready to judge our performance.

Summary

With the DJ dead this is the only chance, so they sing. Dwight, drunk, the gremlin corpse on his horn: 'You killed Lucienne! […] I’m going to stab you in the fucking spleen!' — the Oni punches a scarecrow into glittering straw, the scarecrows attack, and the Minister and his skeletons defend their Yokai friends. The unicorn must live until the heat starts. A bottle bursts over Carl's head; Dong clears the front with the nickel sock; Donut's Auto-Tuned chorus cuts the noise like a knife and her missile blows an axe out of a Draconian's hand behind Dong's head; Carl hits the high note and half the room stops, both gauges buried in the green. Mongo lands in the fight tail-first. Imani knocks Dwight out with a potion; Louis, Britney and Bautista guard him — every dead team is another crawler-on-crawler heat, so protect them all 'no matter how much we wanted to murder them all'. Prepotente loots behind the bar. A fairy's fireball takes the curtains; Mongo eats her. A mantis tears the sock and nickels — all nickels, though he put gold in — fly, and the non-combatants pile in for coins. Donut's last line ends with Dekoki, paralysed, falling on her. Louis and Britney put out the fire; the booth explodes in feedback. Carl earns permanent access to the Stage Performance Guild and the achievement Sing for your supper (a third of a cent per stream); hidden guilds now appear on the map nearby. Donut: FAILED, beer-soaked. 'We are never going to mention this again […] I do love that song, though.'

Characters

• Carl — Hits the high note through bottles and fire; permanent access; 'I guess I gotta do this myself.'
• Princess Donut — In key, then FAILED under a paralysed kappa; 'I do love that song, though.'
• Dwight and Lucienne (Team Sparkles) — 'You killed Lucienne!'; knocked out by Imani's potion.
• Dong Quixote — Clears the stage with the sock; nickels fly.
• Mongo — Lands in the fight tail-first; eats a fairy.
• Imani — Sedates the unicorn; keeps the Yokai and scarecrows from murder.
• Florin — Mouths Wow.
• Louis and Firas — Guards the unicorn; puts out the fire.
• Britney Proskurina — Puts out the fire, drink in hand.
• Daniel Bautista — Guards the unicorn.
• Prepotente — Loots the unattended bar and is flipped over it.
• Team Yokai (Dekoki and Yuto) — Yuto punches a scarecrow; Dekoki falls on Donut.
• The Minister of Blood-Letting — Defends the Yokai.

Locations

• The Lollipop — The brawl; the curtains burn; the booth explodes.
• The Stage Performance Guild — The door glows.

Motifs

• Donut's songs — 'Take on meeeee!'
• Achievements — Sing for your supper; hidden guilds now appear on the map.
• The nickel sock — All nickels, though he fed it gold.
• Crawler on crawler — Every team dead in the bar is another matchup.