Chapter 14 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 14 — Hungry Eyes; the Hairpin and the Lollipop

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 13 — Lady Dominators; Corcunda; a quest · Next: Chapter 15 — The Lollipop: the crawlers' table · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

» Safe room rules do NOT apply in the main square.

Summary

Through the portal, where safe-room rules do not apply in the main square and food cannot be examined or trusted. Carl works the arena problem in chat: a killed special creature either survives to the arena or is replaced by a stand-in from outside the dungeon — people from the eighteenth-floor resort — and the quest promises two stand-ins of the party's choosing. The AI dragged Princess Formidable from her ship to the Desperado Club; could he pick someone from orbit, from the twelfth floor, Harbinger, Prime Minister Victory? 'Who could I drag to the eleventh floor that would cause the most damage?' Three Bactrian camels in racing helmets shove past ('Eat my sandy ass'). The town is a 1980s neon cyberpunk fever dream of gremlins and Draconians — temples in flashing lights, a Club Vanquisher entrance marked with the black X of Carl's permanent ban, and a blank storefront: 'C&W&U Location. Illegal Modifications and More. Grand Opening Soon.' The Hairpin's Formula 1 sign ('Desperado Club entrance in the back') drowns the Lollipop next door, where Imani said to meet, which has karaoke. Donut buys a trucker hat reading 'I’d Hang a Little with Chad' for her mood wall. At a stall marked only 'Meat', Jurgen eats mystery skewers for their rumoured mount-speed bonus over Prepotente's objections — their mount is Sweety, a Perriso, an elephant-tapir large enough for two riders and two mercenaries, slow and smelly; Jurgen told him he was a mechanic before he chose biological — and, mid-sentence about trusting his intuition, vomits it across the sidewalk.

Characters

• Carl — Works the arena problem: 'Who could I drag to the eleventh floor that would cause the most damage?'
• Princess Donut — Buys 'I’d Hang a Little with Chad' for her mood wall.
• Jurgen — Eats mystery meat for a mount-speed rumour and vomits across the sidewalk; a mechanic before he went biological.
• Prepotente — Objects to the skewers; their mount Sweety is a slow, smelly Perriso.
• Princess Formidable — Dragged from her ship to the Desperado Club by the AI — a precedent.
• Harbinger — A candidate to drag to the eleventh.
• Baroness Victory — Another candidate.

Locations

• Hungry Eyes Village — A 1980s neon cyberpunk town of gremlins and Draconians; food cannot be examined; a 'C&W&U' storefront opening soon.
• The Desperado Club — Its entrance behind the Hairpin's Formula 1 sign.
• The Lollipop — Karaoke, next door, where Imani said to meet.
• Club Vanquisher — An entrance marked with the black X of Carl's ban.

Motifs

• The arena vote and the stand-ins — A killed special creature survives to the arena or is replaced by a stand-in from the eighteenth-floor resort.
• The chat — Carl thinks the problem through in the party chat.