Chapter 49 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 49 — Mehmet's page; the tubes; the trapdoor

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 48 — Satan's Water Park; a corpse at the wheel · Next: Chapter 50 — The River of Sloth; ginger genocide; Lucienne on the hood · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

Hello, Carl. My name is Mehmet, and we never met, but I still knew who you were even befor

Summary

An entry from Carl's Book of Boom: Mehmet Or, Crawler #3,756,330, human Sipahi, final level 62, who owned his father's bowling alley in Istanbul, killed his pregnant wife when she was in the hydra, and took a deal out of fear — 'Forgive my cowardice'; his daughters Azra and Yaz were outside with him and did not step into the light, so may be alive 'in that place where they’re keeping the children'; find them, tell them their father fought. The spell: Gutter Bumper, level 9, focusing an area of effect. 'Your other left!' — a clockwork Olga jerks the wheel down the half-pipes; the gyro keeps them upright; the enclosed tubes all lead to Satan. A sticky hob-lobber takes out axe-gingers on inner tubes ('Bloody ’ell,' Satan comments); the mountain hedgehog rolls over and a distant roller coaster full of riders breaks and falls — 'No refunds.' Splatter penguins (water mages), demon pixies, and zipper shrews, level-10 rodents with drills for heads, infest everything; the cab is soaked and slick with gore; cogs boing from the open skull. Florin, backtracking to the loop with Denial of Service missiles for the unicorn; the Dominators probably still in the basement; Lucia Prime's psycho personality back in the body and driving, Florin keeping her from killing anyone. Joel the broken-necked camel gets Second Chance as they crash through the brambles into the ground level: a toddler splash pad where spikes pop and 'SPLASH' appears in neon over a dead pixie. Spider legs up the perimeter wall to skip the trick Prepotente decoded — the floor drops everyone into the waterworks for an hour of Sheol demons, baby hedgehogs and a Garden Gnome Sprinkler boss (Sparkles one-shot it) — while Satan enthuses about clean water 'right into my delicate bum' ('I told you they were all perverts!'). Then the driver's door opens and the clockwork Olga drops onto the trapdoor and into the dark: 'I told you to put your seat belt on!'

Characters

• Carl — Eats Mehmet's page; a sticky hob-lobber on the gingers; skips the trick up the wall.
• Princess Donut — 'Your other left!'; Second Chance on Joel the camel.
• Mehmet Or — Crawler #3,756,330, a bowling alley in Istanbul, a deal out of fear; Azra and Yaz outside the hydra; Gutter Bumper.
• Florin — Denial of Service missiles for the loop.
• Lucia Mar — Lucia Prime's psycho personality driving.
• Satan — 'No refunds'; 'Right into my delicate bum.'
• Prepotente — Decoded the trapdoor trick.

Locations

• Satan's Water Park — Half-pipes, splatter penguins, zipper shrews, a toddler splash pad; the waterworks below.

Motifs

• Carl's Book of Boom — Mehmet's page, eaten.
• The deal — 'Forgive my cowardice in taking a deal.'
• The kinder facility — 'That place where they’re keeping the children.'
• The tenth floor — A trapdoor that costs an hour.