Chapter 22 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 22 — Last place; the princess throne

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 21 — The joey skin; into the pouch · Next: Chapter 23 — Plenty of Plenty; Zev reads the script; a note from C&W&U · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

After passing the finish line, we limped our way toward the garage.

Summary

Mordecai: with a Costume skill already at 6, taking the suit off would flay Carl; Laundry Day would work and skin him. Bucket Boy sobs with joy at the garage. Carl did 95% of the damage to Prison Pocket and is level 84; both have Platinum Boss Boxes. The feed: most gatekeepers were city bosses; the only other province boss was Zhang, Li Na and Tran's, and their two teams survived it; but Elle and Imani's heat and Louis, Britney and Bautista's each lost two teams, so both now risk facing crawlers. The Royal Court came last, so the audience chooses their upgrade. Dr. Metcalf: heat three, thirty kilometres of wide road entirely downhill, one path, 'Survive', waves of generated mobs on the track, twenty minutes, in eight hours. Carl cannot reach the pedals in the joey feet; Rend cannot fit through the passenger door. Dong and Splash Zone remember a dancer called Beast à la Mode who wore animal skins and died of E. and D. coli from the salad bar at Bitches; Samantha: 'I love it when a man wears the skin of his vanquished enemies'. The vote is in — 'Princess Donut will be much more protected during the next race'; the princess throne seat is named in the next chapter. Donut starts to say they should tell Bucket Boy not to — and Bucket Boy jumps out shouting that he saw Corcunda, and Pontiff.

Characters

• Carl — Cannot take the suit off without being flayed; level 84; cannot reach the pedals in joey feet.
• Princess Donut — 'You’re a Faction Wars veteran,' kindly, to Bucket Boy; more protection by public vote.
• Bucket Boy — Sobs with joy; sees Corcunda and Pontiff.
• Mordecai — Costume skill at 6; Laundry Day would skin him.
• Hedy — 'This has just about ruined my lady boner for you, boss.'
• Dong Quixote — Remembers Beast à la Mode, who died of the salad bar at Bitches.
• Splash Zone — Remembers with him.
• Samantha — 'I love it when a man wears the skin of his vanquished enemies.'
• Kandy Bigs Newton — Thinks it looks sick.
• Garret — Rend cannot fit through the passenger door.
• Mongo — A bag of frozen patties.

Locations

• The garage and the cul-de-sac — Platinum Boss Boxes; the vote comes in.
• The Penis Parade — Where Beast à la Mode danced.

Motifs

• Dr. Metcalf (the Navitron 1000) — Heat three: thirty kilometres downhill, twenty minutes, 'Survive'; 'I hate you all.'
• The tenth floor — Most gatekeepers were city bosses; Elle's and Louis's heats each lost two teams.
• The show — Last place: the audience picks the upgrade — trolls win polls.