Chapter 36 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 36 — Jacobus, the reverse tooth fairy

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 35 — Eris and the five-sided coin · Next: Chapter 37 — Chicken and Waffles and Upgrades; Elle and the war mage · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

» Eris has left the realm.

Summary

Eris leaves; the skewer turns to dust. Donut got a god notification too fast to read; Carl says only that the god is gone, and writes everything down — the four sides of the coin, Britney and the pickaxe, Florin's mystery, the Cabaret — with the eye on his chest still open. 'We had to break the game. But how?' An idea, 'so utterly ridiculous, so completely suicidal', dismissed; maybe the war mages have an answer. Imani reads his blood pressure and then steps back: 'Oh, snap' A fist-sized fairy circles her head — her eighth-floor Legendary card, now 'permanently summoned and can no longer be used as a card', the effect of Carl's Scavenger's Daughter patch: Jacobus, the Reverse Tooth Fairy, level 90, a tiny ridiculously buff blond Dane in a loincloth. The card: the Tandfeen, 'a bizarre and weirdly sadistic ritual' to acclimate children to selling body parts, tame beside napping babies in the cold and drowning unmarried twenty-five-year-olds in cinnamon; 'He doesn’t buy loose teeth from children. He does the opposite.' 'Vis mig dine tænder.' 'Betal mig trehundrede og tyve guld.' Imani catches him in her hand before he reaches Prepotente: 'You will not be doing that with any of my friends.' Donut: can cards be made real? Carl thinks of Paz, ripped at the end of the eighth floor; 'This was a god thing.' In chat Carl tells them all and shows his palm: Elle distrusts fire fairies; Donut says Quemada has Exotic Shorthair-owner energy; Prepotente: 'a similar conundrum to the Donut and Katia problem'; Louis says Britney is only her usual grumpy; Florin wonders whether Eris knows Lucia's whole story. Carl has ideas, not fully baked, the last part unsayable in chat — 'maybe the answer is right in front of us. Let’s talk to these war mages first.'

Characters

• Carl — Writes everything down; an idea 'so completely suicidal', dismissed; shows the chat his palm.
• Princess Donut — A god notification too fast to read; Exotic Shorthair-owner energy.
• Imani — 'Oh, snap' — her card is a fairy now; 'You will not be doing that with any of my friends.'
• Elle McGibbons — Distrusts fire fairies.
• Prepotente — 'A similar conundrum to the Donut and Katia problem.'
• Louis and Firas — Britney is only her usual grumpy.
• Florin — Wonders whether Eris knows Lucia's whole story.
• Team Helix (Olga, Finley and Quemada) — Quemada's energy.
• Jacobus — The Reverse Tooth Fairy, level 90, a buff Dane in a loincloth: 'Vis mig dine tænder.'

Locations

• Hungry Eyes Village — The skewer turns to dust.

Motifs

• The Scavenger's Daughter — The patch made Imani's card permanent.
• The five-sided coin — Written down.
• The chat — Carl tells them all.
• The war mages — 'Let’s talk to these war mages first.'
• The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — Still open.