Chapter 77 of 99 · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Chapter 77 — Miriam at the piano; Pony

Book: A Parade of Horribles · Part: Horrible One · Previous: Chapter 76 — Apartment 231; the peach beer · Next: Chapter 78 — Damien's announcement; under a thousand · Floor: Floor 10 — Don't Come in Last · Series: the series

Opening

We had about ten minutes before the race would time out.

Summary

Ten minutes left, teams stuck above. On the way out, a bag of Royal Canin — Donut's special-order flat-face food — sits on Marjory's counter; Donut says nothing. Plan B is to pop Miriam's head and let the bugs slap him out of it. Apartment 130: Beethoven; Gate Seven of Seven. Jurgen on Sweety, shouting; Prepotente sits against the piano leg and has threatened to kill him if he drives in or interrupts the song. Carl drinks a full cup of splooge — Splooged for an hour with nine minutes left — and runs across the floor. Not the Italian farm: New York, night; Miriam Dom in pyjamas at a huge dark piano with a Diet Coke, takeout and an open bottle; a farm photo, goat knick-knacks, a row of stage photos in a sparkling gown; X'd eyes, swaying faster and faster, and it does not look like joy; a broken wineglass, a long line of prescription bottles. 'This is my mother if she had never stayed to take care of her parents […] She would’ve had everything she had ever dreamed of.' 'Nobody wants me around'; no one said sorry he did not get to sing; Imani did not want him in the guild; 'I don’t fit in anywhere […] I wish I’d never taken the pet biscuit.' Carl bites back the retort — 'she is clearly alone. I don’t think she’s happy here.' Realising how lightly their own room let them off, he says she was never as lonely there as here — 'She didn’t have you and her brothers and sisters'; the what-if is 'a goddamned toxic virus in your brain', which is why an AI stuck in loops of it is going insane; 'you are always welcome with us […] we are a herd, and— Oooff.' A suffocating hug. 'You can call me Pony if you like.' Thirty seconds to the lobby, past the wreck of Free Love's van, killed just short of the line. Osvaldo lied about being at the finish, and the lie saved his life — he and Filipe cross with a minute to spare. Ad Infinitum complete. Heat six: Sparkles, the Royal Court, Flamengo; Free Love eliminated.

Characters

• Carl — Drinks the splooge and runs to the piano; 'we are a herd'.
• Princess Donut — 'We never did get to play music with them'
• Pontiff — Waits with the truck.
• Prepotente — 'I wish I’d never taken the pet biscuit'; 'You can call me Pony if you like.'
• Jurgen — Prepotente, to him: 'What are you waiting for, you oaf!'
• Miriam Dom — A concert pianist in New York, alone, a broken glass and prescription bottles.
• Osvaldo — His lie saved his life; a minute to spare.
• Filipe L — With him.
• Radoslav and Jasha (Team Free Love) — Their wreck passed in the hallway.
• Marjory Williams and Gravy Boat — Royal Canin on her counter.

Locations

• The L'Engle Building — Apartment 130: Beethoven, faster and faster.

Motifs

• Human Shells — 'This is my mother if she had never stayed.'
• Staying human — Survival has more than one meaning.
• Carl's family — 'You are always welcome with us.'
• The enriched pet biscuits — The wish never to have taken it.
• Ad Infinitum — The what-if as a toxic virus.