Character · Book 8, A Parade of Horribles

Penelope

A level-5 Yorkshire Sow, One Fine Pig's third, under the Touch of Maw-Loo from an unused seventh-floor storyline: certain NPCs fall helplessly in love with her, Taranis among them, and whoever hurts her is marked for death by the thunder god. Carl takes her with a garage key, feeds her the Nothing Special Party Companion biscuit — Penelope 3, Crawler #12,953,454 — straps her to his chest with his father's gun at her head to bait Taranis into the arena, and lets Emberus's incineration deflect into her. She types in capitals, craves splooge, and breaks up with the god because he lied about it.

Segment appearances

• Chapter 19 — One Fine Pig; Penelope
• Chapter 20 — Prison Pocket and Party Foul
• Chapter 21 — The joey skin; into the pouch
• Chapter 45 — The garage of One Fine Pig
• Chapter 46 — Glitzy Pizzazz; two traps
• Chapter 47 — Secretions; the twist; One Fine Pig eliminated
• Chapter 53 — The key to One Fine Pig's garage
• Chapter 61 — Suckira; the cactus; Li Na leaves the game
• Chapter 62 — Mees Koning's page; to battle
• Chapter 69 — The stables: who may leave; the Scavenger myth
• Chapter 70 — The memorial crystal; the Midnight Epicure
• Chapter 88 — Interlude: Quasar; the eleventh floor — twenty-three crawlers; Chaco's parade
• Chapter 90 — The Vengeance float; Carl leaves the party
• Chapter 93 — The arena: 'I choose Scolopendra'
• Chapter 94 — Dungeon Boss; the pig in the harness
• Chapter 95 — Inside Scolopendra; Club Scolopendra; 'I killed him'
• Chapter 96 — Emberus explodes
• Chapter 97 — Eris; the wrong biscuit; the gods leave
• Chapter 98 — W-W-W-Winner; Mark of the Damned; the wrong biscuit

Arc

'Oink, oink' — a level-5 sow married to two Tigrans, cursed so that Taranis loves her and whoever hurts her is marked for death (ch. 19). Her squeals crack lightning across a clear sky (ch. 45); Donut's relationship advice is for her (ch. 46); Carl takes her home with a key, lipsticked with gremlin goo (ch. 53). The biscuit: Penelope 3, Crawler #12,953,454, typing in capitals — 'WHAT THE FUDGE IS HAPPENING?' (ch. 93, ch. 94); a nipple ring for air inside Scolopendra (ch. 95); Emberus's fire lands on her and Taranis remakes her and asks her to dinner (ch. 96). 'HE LIED ABOUT THE SPLOOGE, SO WE BROKE UP' (ch. 97); a 'dungeon born' deal ahead (ch. 98).