Theme · from book 1
The mobs are victims
The Hoarder begs in Spanish to be sent to Jesus; the Juicer is proud of Carl for fighting through the pain; the tuskling courtesans seem to have no memory of the ball; the goblin shamanka wants only to breed in peace deeper down. Mordecai warns it will not always be so, and that there are no gods here — only those who pay for the privilege.
First appears: Book 1
Series arc
As of book 3. Every boss on the first three floors is someone; on the fourth the theme becomes the plot. Vernon the conductor's wife, Madison's apartment, Tizquick's daughter and Fire Brandy's children were never real, and the floor's people find the edges of their lives. Two of them drive a train into the abyss by choice, and Brandy says what the theme has waited for: 'we shouldn't be enemies in this.' Carl's signed entry in the Cookbook says killing them is mercy and the makers are the unfinished work.
Open threads
Status is open or resolved; the chapter after it is the last one that moved the thread.
| Thread | Opened | Status |
|---|---|---|
| Damascus Steel and Anaconda go to avenge their mother | B6 ch. 34 | open · B7 ch. 39 — Hamed runs the Desperado Club with bodyguards 'Not exactly NPCs'; Damascus walks past a door alive; both sons missing afterward. |
All threads: Open threads.
Through book 1
Every boss on the first two floors is someone. Mordecai's warning that it will not always be so (B1 ch. 25) is a promise about later floors that book 1 cannot keep or break.
Through book 2
Through book 3
The theme becomes the plot: NPCs with paper-thin lives finding the edges — Vernon's wife, Madison's apartment, Tizquick's daughter, Brandy's children (B3 ch. 6, B3 ch. 17, B3 ch. 21, B3 ch. 34); a floor of addicts dying three times; and Carl's Cookbook entry that killing them is mercy and the makers are the unfinished work (B3 ch. 34). Brandy: 'we shouldn't be enemies in this.'
Through book 4
A starved gnome asking to die, a mage married to an ooze, a girl drugged not to cry, a people going sterile, a town rebuilt with hours to live (B4 ch. 6, B4 ch. 21, B4 ch. 17, B4 ch. 15, B4 ch. 34). Carl's position hardens into 'They're better off dead. We are freeing them' and a city drowns (B4 ch. 32, B4 ch. 34); Justice Light's note argues the other way (B4 ch. 32).
Through book 5
Through book 6
Through book 7
The bestiary
Every » This is a… card the system shows, 117 through book 7: the first line of each.
Book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl (10)
- B1 ch. 2 — rendition of a Kua-Tin, the dominant species of the Borant System and principal owners of the Borant…
- B1 ch. 3 — Safe Zone
- B1 ch. 3 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B1 ch. 7 — Fleeting item!
- B1 ch. 7 — Unique* item!
- B1 ch. 9 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B1 ch. 30 — shaping tool. May only be used at a workbench. Assists in shaping materials into something else. You might…
- B1 ch. 35 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B1 ch. 36 — Dungeon Admin
- B1 ch. 46 — pet-class mob
Book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario (9)
- B2 ch. 1 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B2 ch. 2 — Monk subclass
- B2 ch. 6 — Elite
- B2 ch. 10 — Elite
- B2 ch. 13 — Fleeting item!
- B2 ch. 13 — comp chip, and it may not be sold or transferred. You may not redeem this chip directly for gold. This chip…
- B2 ch. 15 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B2 ch. 15 — non-combatant NPC
- B2 ch. 24 — Bereft Minion of Miss Quill
Book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (13)
- B3 ch. 2 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B3 ch. 2 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B3 ch. 5 — non-combatant NPC
- B3 ch. 5 — trap monster
- B3 ch. 7 — unique item
- B3 ch. 12 — pass or fail quest. Failure has consequences
- B3 ch. 14 — non-combatant NPC
- B3 ch. 15 — Unique Item
- B3 ch. 17 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B3 ch. 22 — Phased item. It is invisible. It will hide its entry point and will only be discovered if it is physically…
- B3 ch. 24 — unique item
- B3 ch. 24 — repeating, ranged weapon. It has the buffet enchantment, meaning it will not run out of basic ammunition. You…
- B3 ch. 33 — minion of the Mimic Rex
Book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods (8)
- B4 ch. 2 — unique item
- B4 ch. 9 — bereft Minion of Shamus Chaindrive
- B4 ch. 22 — minion of Psamathe
- B4 ch. 27 — minion of Lusca
- B4 ch. 29 — bereft pet of Geyrun
- B4 ch. 30 — world quest! All living crawlers on the fifth floor will receive this message!
- B4 ch. 31 — locked god. There will be no sponsors of this deity this season
- B4 ch. 34 — unique item!
Book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade (23)
- B5 ch. 1 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B5 ch. 2 — pet of Hunter Zabit
- B5 ch. 2 — Non-Combatant NPC
- B5 ch. 5 — Unaffiliated Hunter
- B5 ch. 6 — pet of Crawler Miriam Dom
- B5 ch. 15 — regular arrow, but the tip is dipped in a poison that will inflict you with Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea
- B5 ch. 19 — automated message
- B5 ch. 19 — planet-wide message
- B5 ch. 28 — Recycled Trap
- B5 ch. 28 — feather. It’s pink. It’s garbage. Fuck off with making me describe this shit. Do you want me to describe the…
- B5 ch. 35 — regular arrow, but the tip is dipped in a poison that will inflict you with Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea
- B5 ch. 42 — Fleeting item!
- B5 ch. 42 — Unique* item!
- B5 ch. 44 — minion of Big Tina
- B5 ch. 45 — minion of Big Tina
- B5 ch. 46 — Bereft Minion of Viscount Fog
- B5 ch. 48 — world quest! All crawlers and all hunters currently active on the sixth floor will receive this quest!
- B5 ch. 49 — minion of Princess Donut
- B5 ch. 51 — high elf. A DNA test would tell you that they’re identical to bush elves, but that’s only because DNA tests…
- B5 ch. 58 — Unaffiliated Hunter
- B5 ch. 63 — small hammer. It’s enchanted. That means it’s magical. It just doesn’t do anything magical
- B5 ch. 63 — stick. It’s enchanted. It’s not a wand, but when used correctly, it can do something truly magical
- B5 ch. 66 — depiction of Scolopendra. She’s dreaming. It’s said when she finally awakens, she will destroy everything and…
Book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (30)
- B6 ch. 2 — non-combatant NPC
- B6 ch. 3 — divine item
- B6 ch. 3 — unique item
- B6 ch. 3 — fleeting item
- B6 ch. 6 — aquatic mob
- B6 ch. 6 — melee mob
- B6 ch. 6 — tank mob
- B6 ch. 10 — little obvious since you’re locked in here, but this is a compulsory quest. You can take your time with this…
- B6 ch. 10 — non-corporeal monster
- B6 ch. 11 — non-corporeal spirit
- B6 ch. 14 — non-corporeal mob
- B6 ch. 14 — affliction-dealing mob
- B6 ch. 17 — locked deity. She will not be sponsored this season
- B6 ch. 18 — high-ranking cleric of Hellik. You will receive a boon from Emberus if you kill this NPC. You probably don’t…
- B6 ch. 18 — non-combatant NPC
- B6 ch. 22 — undead mob
- B6 ch. 22 — ranged mob
- B6 ch. 22 — healer mob
- B6 ch. 23 — new lesson to me. She’s been teaching me so many things, about who I am. About what I am. What I really am.…
- B6 ch. 26 — demi-god
- B6 ch. 39 — ranged mob
- B6 ch. 39 — healer mob
- B6 ch. 39 — affliction-dealing mob
- B6 ch. 41 — turkey. You know, gobble gobble. Roast at 325 for about 13-15 minutes per pound. Season with rosemary, sage,…
- B6 ch. 48 — non-combatant NPC
- B6 ch. 52 — non-combatant NPC
- B6 ch. 62 — regional quest. All crawlers within the area of Cuba have been added to this quest
- B6 ch. 64 — sapient weapon
- B6 ch. 64 — incremental-damage weapon
- B6 ch. 66 — hybrid world quest. All crawlers who are dumb enough to still be stuck on the eighth floor have been added to…
Book 7 — This Inevitable Ruin (24)
- B7 ch. 2 — non-combatant NPC
- B7 ch. 2 — human. This one is something called a Canadian. Part French. Part maple syrup. He’s weirdly obsessed with ice…
- B7 ch. 3 — unique item
- B7 ch. 3 — unique item
- B7 ch. 5 — pet-class mob
- B7 ch. 7 — ally. As you are both officers, attacking him will automatically negate your peace treaty if there are…
- B7 ch. 9 — ally
- B7 ch. 10 — non-combatant observer
- B7 ch. 10 — ally
- B7 ch. 11 — subordinate
- B7 ch. 11 — subordinate
- B7 ch. 13 — “non-combatant” observer
- B7 ch. 15 — special skunk with a very special set of skills. He knows the skills are special because his mom told him so.…
- B7 ch. 21 — pet of Cybernetician Yeller of the Reavers
- B7 ch. 22 — subordinate
- B7 ch. 28 — hired mercenary. The fee has already been paid in advance and extends to the end of this floor or the…
- B7 ch. 53 — locked deity. He will not be sponsored this season
- B7 ch. 56 — Unique item
- B7 ch. 56 — Divine Item
- B7 ch. 69 — non-combatant observer
- B7 ch. 69 — skin ripped off a human named Derek Reilly. Derek was already dead when the skin was removed, though I…
- B7 ch. 70 — automatic tower
- B7 ch. 79 — pet of Warlord Fang
- B7 ch. 84 — team quest. All crawlers and all active combatants of the Princess Posse will receive this quest
Where they appear
| Book | Chapters they are in (of the book's) | Where |
|---|---|---|
| 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl | 3/48 | Ch. 12, Ch. 24, Ch. 25 · the book's own page |
| 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario | 0/26 | — · the book's own page |
| 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook | 0/35 | — · the book's own page |
| 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods | 3/35 | Ch. 9, Ch. 11, Ch. 13 · the book's own page |
| 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade | 1/78 | Ch. 28 · the book's own page |
| 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride | 1/74 | Ch. 44 · the book's own page |
| 7 — This Inevitable Ruin | 3/89 | Ch. 15, Ch. 56, Ch. 61 · the book's own page |
By book
The mobs are victims in book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl
The Hoarder is a person who asks to be sent to Jesus (ch. 11); Mordecai says there is 'recycling' (ch. 12). Rory explains the mobs' hope of peace deeper down (ch. 15); the goblin boss room has babies (ch. 18); the Juicer is proud of Carl (ch. 24); the tusklings are unarmed aristocrats with no memory of the ball (ch. 27); the fairy screams that they were going to move to the third floor (ch. 33); the caged dingoes are wounded slaves (ch. 45). Carl's theory (ch. 35) is that real alien species are crossed with earth stereotypes to teach and to mock — 'Or Persian cats as princesses.' Mordecai's warning (ch. 25) is that it will not always be so, and that there are no gods here, only those who pay.
The mobs are victims in book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario
Mordecai's promise that it would get less sympathetic is not kept on this floor. The lemurs, clowns and bear are a circus family kept alive by love (ch. 9, ch. 10); the NPCs are biological people with planted memories (ch. 3); GumGum is a prop and also a person (ch. 17); Burgundy asks to die mortal (ch. 22); Remex was a crawler (ch. 24). Heather's eyes: 'End it.' Carl's response is to stop killing bosses when he can talk to them instead.
The mobs are victims in book 3 — The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook
This is the floor that makes the theme a plot. Vernon's wife (ch. 5, ch. 6), Madison's apartment (ch. 17), Tizquick's daughter (ch. 21), Widget's stew (ch. 17), Brandy's children (ch. 14, ch. 34): NPCs given paper-thin lives and left to find the edges. The mobs are addicts by design, dying three times (ch. 12, ch. 31). Carl's own hands are on it — Gary, the mantaurs — and his entry in the Cookbook says so, and that killing them is a mercy, and that the killers of the makers is the unfinished work (ch. 34). Brandy: 'we shouldn't be enemies in this.' Madison, hanged by her own employees, is the other ending (ch. 31).
The mobs are victims in book 4 — The Gate of the Feral Gods
A changeling made to be Jessica Rabbit for two drunks (ch. 3); a starved gnome asking to die (ch. 6); a mage eaten daily by a wife who loves him (ch. 21); an ooze's card about unrequited love (ch. 22); a girl drugged by her father so she would not cry (ch. 17); a people with one child in four sterile (ch. 15); a town rebuilt for a world with hours left (ch. 34); Juice Box waking up (ch. 28). Carl's position hardens — 'They're better off dead. We are freeing them' — and a city of NPCs drowns (ch. 32, ch. 34); Justice Light's note warns against exactly that (ch. 32).
The mobs are victims in book 5 — The Butcher's Masquerade
More than 250 non-mob casualties in Zockau, over 200 of them NPCs, and it does not bother him as much as it should (ch. 6); an elf janitor who used to be a crawler (ch. 1); a town of pious bears whose only crime is a poster (ch. 10); guards ordered to worship a god so that killing them costs the killer (ch. 10); a teacher and six schoolboys turned into rodents (ch. 14); one Ursine killed where Lucia had emptied a town (ch. 35); an eight-year-old dancer inside an allosaurus (ch. 44); a barmaid with cubs who was never in the plan (ch. 73); an elite who learns her family was never real and dies of her own free will (ch. 73, ch. 74); a cat's card that calls his whole species soulless murderers (ch. 72). And a hunter who says he would object too, were the situations reversed (ch. 69).
The mobs are victims in book 6 — The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
The mobs are victims in book 7 — This Inevitable Ruin
In the new area the AI recycles mobs from every previous floor with no rhyme or reason (ch. 15); rot stickers are raised as pets and released as missiles (ch. 21); a toyotomi wanted to die defending a building (ch. 28); a goat is lonely (ch. 48). Justice Light believes four hundred lives: NPCs are supposed to be recycled after twenty, but the showrunners skip the deeper audits (ch. 56). War mages are made by nobody, created naturally and rarely recycled (ch. 61); fleshers are the moisturised dead (ch. 69); zarogoths are corrupted souls (ch. 70).